87questions wrote:
Generally, while the majority of women on the spectrum tend to mask, with men it tends to be only the higher than average I.Q. types.with a few exceptions.
My boyfriend presented as extremely intelligent (well-educated, speaks 3 languages), proud and confident. However, I did notice some behaviors in the first few months of our relationship that confused me.
1. During our first long, in-depth conversation (the day he asked to get to know me better), he got dressed up and wore cologne (he typically doesn't). He gave me what felt like a job interview script of what he had to offer. Yet, he did it with a smile and so much sweetness and charm that I had to know him better.
2. During our subsequent meetings/conversations, he often walked up to me without a smile. He wasn't frowning, but his face was simply neutral. He could ask me, "Hello, how are you doing?" without smiling or changing the tone of his voice.
3. After about a month of talking and getting to know each other (he told me about his family, job, education, etc.), he started making abrupt transitions from asking me about my day or my family into a topic that I now know is his special interest. He started giving me very long talks about this subject. He could speak and explain for 45 minutes or an hour. I couldn't figure it out at first. I kept thinking that he must not be interested in me, because he is always talking about this one topic. He would show me podcasts on his phone.
There is more of course, but this is how our relationship started ...
He sounds like a nice guy who shows autistic traits. He would not go into so much depth sharing his special interest if he didn't love you so be reassured that he does.
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