i think my sister has aspergers

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I am a teen aspie. Now as my sister is growing up(shes in first grade)she is becoming worse and worse. she could barely speak when she was 3 and wasnt potty trained until age 4. She puts tons of stress on my family. I never remember things so bad in my family. She is so high maintenance and super hyper and acts impulsively. I was the exact oppostie when i was little.dad says shes regressing as she gets older. everyday is becoming a nightmare living with her. the other day she had a temper tantrum because i cut her sandwich in half for lunch. We rarely invite company over because shell start acting up and stuff. Everybody asks me how i could get so angry over a little kid because im way older than her, but thats easy for them to say. I dont think shell outgrow this. Im to the point where I wish she was never born and im beginning to dispise her. My life has been hell with AS, and i dont want my sister to end up having it either, if things werent bad enough. I want a neurotypical sibling that i can be proud of. Please give me a ton of hope and advice. Thanks

I used to be the opposite of that, I was always really quiet and easy going on my parents back then. The best you can do about your sister is just love her, but be a good influence.. Unlike how I was with mine. It will go a long way Im sure.

I was like that growing up, it was bad, but if she couldn't barely speak by the age of 3, she might have pdd-nos or hfa instead of aspergers. All I did was scream and growl, and bite, hit, throw things, temper tantrums, and was like a roadrunner on speed lol, it was bad. I defintely regressed, but after I regressed, I progressed, it sounds stupid, but It was like a progressed, then regressed, then progressed, then regressed, now I'm making progress again haha, too many family problems in my family that kept making me regress, but everytime I progress I get a little bit better on handling things. Try to understand your sister is not trying to make you upset or resent her, its not entirely her fault, you also understand she is a little kid, and every little kid has its challenges, also understand your sister is going through a bad time, and just try to imagine being her, all upset like that 24-7. It has to been tiring and stressful to her too! She may be a pain in the butt, and be upsetting everything, but just try to keep your head high and set a good example for her, even though it seems like shes not paying attention, she'll always look up to you and your ways, because your the older sibling. I hope my advice helps you a little...

None of what you posted about your sister sounds like AS to me. If she pitches temper tantrums over her sandwich being sliced she may have something more like bipolar or one of the personality disorders going on. Has she ever had an evaluation?

I'm sorry that you are going through this.Your own issues with AS are enough to have to deal with without having this additional challenge.I just hope you will keep something in mind.There are many people who have the same feeling about having children with AS....wishing they were never born,that they were "normal" or never born.Wouldnt you find that hurtful if you found your parents felt this way about you?One of the reasons, I think, you are having problems sharing a house with some one who sounds(not AS but LFA),is probably due to some of your own AS traits.For many of us,being around loud noises,unpredictable behavior,chaos....is more painful and confusing.So it isnt "just her",some of the problem is your own need for stability.


One thing I would suggest is trying to understand what "sensory sensitivities" might be setting your sisters behavior to be what it is.There are some really good books about kids with "sensory issues".Teaching yourself "why" she is acting the way she is might help you gain some empathy for her(and that generally creates a bit more patience because it makes "logic" out of chaos).


I dont know how old you are,so this may seem like I'm asking a lot of you, but I think you can do it.One thing to keep in mind is that just because your sister is acting in ways that are hurtful to you and your family does not mean that she is trying to hurt you,(any more that I was trying to hurt my family with my AS traits).I wanted to "be good",but was often disorganized,had "odd" likes and dislikes.

Another thing is that your sister may improve.Sometimes we go through "difficult" stages.You may someday have something to be proud of as you see her improve.Educate yourself about "why" some kids with autism "act" the way your sister is and figure out if there is any thing that you or your parents can do to help her.She maybe making your life miserable because she is miserable.I know this is asking a lot but just resenting the situation will not make it better.

I wish you a future where you can connect with your sister and help be her "protector" instead of her "resenter".