Finding Places to Meet Women

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Yeah. Much better to date MARRIED women.

Anyhow, 'tis almost obvious that
anyone using a dating service has
SOME sort of difficulty.

Some people consider AS undesirable. Dating is tough, sometimes you have to make do with what you can get. Maybe someone who knows what it is like to have a messed up life (like some single moms do) would be more accepting of your differences. Most pretty young girls with no kids want to do better (or think they can do better) than a guy with a mental disorder like AS. This is not true for all, but most are still fairly idyllic and may not respond well to a guy with AS (unless she is a real sweetheart). Sucks, but it seems to be true.

exactly. so not surprised that the females on the sites have had good experiences with them. if you're man, online dating is pointless unless you have the looks of an Adonis and pretty mainstream interests.
i agree with the last part too, single girls simply do not exist in Bristol.

That is simply a reflection of the way it is in real life.

That is why if you're a guy, you actually have to make a real effort instead of posting a vague, two-sentence or long and hostile profile and a blurry pic, then contacting three women without success, and then giving up and complaining that online dating is useless.

I have gone on a pretty fair number of dates with average-looking guys who made themselves attractive to me by a great profile, a good approach, or listing compatible interests.

I ignore guys, even hot guys, who say "hey babe", and then I check their profile and it says "too many interests to list, contact me if you want to know more". LAME

It's like applying for a desirable job but instead of sending a resume and cover letter, you scribble "i wouldn't mind this job" on a scrap of paper, scrunch it into a ball and throw it in the general direction of the mailing address!

guys! guys!

Plentyoffish and OKCupid are FREE -- don't waste your money on paid sites.

I stopped using Yahoo Personals because they expected me to give them money in order to be able to do anything. VERY FEW WOMEN ARE GOING TO PAY FOR A DATING SITE.

I still use Lavalife because I can do more for free, but I get much more traffic on Plentyoffish. OkCupid isn't bad, but it's mostly Americans.

Get on OkCupid and Plenty, and if you meet one girl a year you've gotten your money's worth!

Oh, and don't forget aspieaffection.com -- also free!

But for God's sake, post a pic -- or at least send one along when you contact a girl -- and spend some time creating a half-decent profile! Otherwise, you may as well not even bother.

Yeah. Difficulty meeting someone compatible at random. Much like most of the guys who post on this forum!



Thank you!

It's kind of irritating hearing guys complain about the women on dating sites not being perfect, as if THEY are!

no, it is NOT a reflection of what's it like in real life - irl in most places there is a similar number of men and women to start with. on dating sites, there are several times more men. so it is sensible to join one if you're female (if you're not a single mom and your looks are no worse than average, you'll be fending off men with a stick), but if you're a man, unless you're exceptionally lucky or are far above-average, forget it. it's like applying for jobs during the Great Depression.
i have sent a pic to every girl i've contacted on plentyoffish (far more than 3), i list my interests and a few other things on my profile, and i don't send one-liners. i don't rule out girls just because of bad pic or no pic. to be fair, single women are non-existent in Bristol so that badly skews things (even at speed dating events the women are already taken).
finally, most profiles seem almost carbon copies of each other - outgoing, likes clubbing and shopping, wants guy with a GSOH, blah blah blah. i'm not looking for perfection, i would very happily go for a nice bookworm about my age even if she were plain, didn't know how to apply makeup or walk in high heels, etc.
so my view is that if you're male, unless you live a city of several million, or look like an Adonis, are a CEO or are hugely above-average in some way, even the free sites aren't worth it.

The dynamic's still the same.

I've been working in the same place for a year. Three men at work have asked me out in that time.

I highly doubt that any of them have been asked out by three women at work in the last year.



Even if you're right that the chances are slim, it costs nothing to give it a go.

If it's true there are no single women where you live, you may have to go further afield. I'll happily respond to decent approaches from guys in other cities -- but they'd have to travel to me.

is there a dating site where I can find quirky and possibly a little bit shy women?

I'm pretty reluctant to use the general dating sites.

aspieaffection.com!! !

Uh huh. I'd consider both AS and very high standards
as difficulties in dating. Face it, people who have a
wide circle of friends generally find others easily enough
to NOT need these services.


By the way, I have a personal beef with OKCupid.
When they switched format, my profile and pics
were all lost. Ah, no big deal, but the profile was
a work of art - designed to keep ANYTHING normal
away.

I'm on there but there are only a couple girls my age in my general area and they haven't logged on for ages. Even in my general age range in the whole of the UK I can count the number on one hand and still only a few have pictures. One of them obviously isn't their picture. When they put relationship/other type thing I'm not really sure how serious they are.

I think I need to graduate to something slightly less specific but my avoidance would find a general site a little bit too much.

From aspieaffection.com:

Whoever said college is an idiot. Let me tell you how college works for me. You run to your class because you only have ten minutes to get there and it's all the way across campus. You come in the room, and sit down. The professor is already lecturing. He doesn't shut up for about an hour, then as soon as he's done talking everyone picks up their things and goes. You run back across campus to your next class and repeat the process a few times, then you get in your car and drive home. Total time you can spend talking to people: 0 seconds. I had better opportunities to talk to women in high school. In college everyone is too busy and noone wants to have anything to do with you. College sucks.

Try sitting around outside,
looking really unique.

You meet people.

Whether you can hold their interest
after that is a different question.


Another great place is abortion clinics.

Classes are terrible, but you might want to try the library.... or offering to help people with their classes.

I'm finding I get plenty of opportunities for interaction working in the tutoring center. It's really helped my social skills too...

Of course, I haven't taken the jump to actually starting a relationship with anyone... but it's given me much more positive interactions than anything else I've done. Well except one thing, but that's private...