Finding Places to Meet Women

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One thing I really like about plentyoffish is that when you list your interests, if anyone else has the same interest it becomes a hyperlink. Click on it and you'll find all the other people who have that interest.

At one point, one of my interests was shared by only one person. Now there are two.

Yeah, but how many of those guys (1) have a pic and (2) take the initiative to contact girls?

If you do both those things, you'll stand out.

There was something similar on OKCupid,
but I only found TWO people with my interest,
and both were male. And this is something which
is my major motivating obsession in life.

That's why one needs someone trainable.

Welll.... there's a total of ONE girl in my location and age group on there... and she doesn't seem like someone I'd be compatible with. She's kinda cute though.

-shrug-

I've learned recently that long-distance relationships aren't the way to go.

A typical female reaction , when you talk them about facts about online dating world they blame the guys instead (and sous-entendu they blame you)....and they start blablabing pff "oh it's your fault guys " , " you are the losers guys " ," you need to use your magic to attract us online" , " you are not doing much effort guys" , " it's all guys' fault " , " you must write an interesting biography book on your profile, guys" , "stop complaining guys , it's your fault" ," we girls on these sites are DIAMONDS , so you guys need to make 24/7 effort in writing your profiles/emails in order to get little of our attention ...hihi" ..etc etc etc etc.

There's an lebanese saying : "the one in water can't be the same of the one in fire"

So it's easy for you to give the guys lectures and lessons about getting dates thro online dating since you have no difficulty at all in getting responses in dating sites and even getting dates ....but I am sure that your reaction would be very different if you get 0 response and 0 date all the time from dating sites .



No miss julie , it 's NOT a reflection of the real life ...there's much less fish in the sea of the online dating. So it's very NATURAL that many guys won't get any fish as long the number of fish are much less than the number of fishermen .

Btw , I don't use dating sites ...but I can predict its results with some logic. And usually I don't like post my pics on the net unless if i am asked on msn or in pm...paranoid, I know.

And oh....asian girls are cute . Get over it

there are plenty of girls online with no pic and a profile that is practicvally blank, so it works both ways (why would I contact them?). don't get me started about aspieaffection, the only contact i ever had with another membre was an attempted scam.

the dynamic may be similar (guy has to initiate contact) but again, irl, theoretically there's a similar number of males and females (except among the elderly and other such special cases). the average guy will find someone if he initiates contact and doesn't live in Bristol. online, even if every single female found someone, the vast majority of guys are left with nothing simply due to the gender imbalance, even if they initiate contact.
trying online dating with no success is a recipe for frustration, even if it has no financial cost.
frankly i don't see the point in initiating long distance relationships - it kind of negates the whole point of the relastionship (no, i don't just mean sex)

Now there's a great way to start your argument!



It's got nothing to do with blame. I'm talking about how guys can deal with the reality of the situation.



Sadly, that's pretty much how it is. I'm suggesting adaptation as a response, rather than whinging and misogyny.



Exactly. That, combined with the complaints of the guys, is what gives me my awareness of THE WAY THINGS ARE



It's a reflection of real life in that guys have to make the effort! The number of men and women is pretty much equally balanced in my workplace. Yet the guys are making the moves, not the girls. That's life... get over it!



I don't have a problem with girls of any race. It's morons who drive me nuts.

It's not that I don't understand this point.

What I'm saying is that so many of the guys who ARE online have such bad profiles and approach women so rudely, that if you have a good profile and approach nicely, you'll stand out and improve your chances.



Well, the idea is that if it works out, one of you will move.

but as i said, there are plenty of girls that have practically blank profiles (list nothing under interests, a one liner in their description, etc). juliekitty, i realise you understand the gender imbalance thing, but just to illustrate my point:

on plentyoffish, within 10 miles of Bristol:
20 to 30: 498 females looking for males, 700+ males loking for females

22 to 26: 252 females looking for males, 502 males looking for females

if we restrict to users with no children, using the 2nd age range:
139 females looking for males, 381 males looking for females

using the 2nd age range, only profiles with pics (no restriction on kids):
142 females loking for males, 314 males looking for females

note that the ratio is similar if you eliminate both males and females with no pics. in fact, there are more males with pics than all female users in the same age and location range. of course a full profile, politeness will improve your chances, but even so they're pretty low unless there's something exceptionally attractive about you.
i'm with you, however, on what you say about ethnicity preferences. at least, i have seen girls of many different ethnicities that I have found attractive. i woudl say that, for example, statistically Italian girls tend to be more attractive to me than anglosaxon ones, but that doesn't mean I'd automatically prefer an Italian girl, it would depend entirely on the girl, so going for an anglosaxon girl wouldn't necessarily be 'settling' (nor would an Italian girl automatically be attractive), so I wouldn't say i have a thing for Italian girls. i don't put an ethnicity preference on these sites - unfortunately, another issue is that most girls around here put a preference for white, black or either one, and I fall in neither category.

switching to my feminine side : Awww isn't cute if a guy makes an effort 24/7 on the dating site by improving the quality of his profile and pm just to increase slightly the chance of finding the girl of his life? isn't cute when a guy put all his efforts to 'adapt' in order to attract the girl ? Awwww








Ok back to my masculine side : spare me the crap ! shall you ?

Let me remind you that guys are also HUMANS and PERSONS so that means that they have OTHER concerns in life than finding a genius way to attract your gender on dating sites.








we are talking about number balancing which is no-existent in online dating .


My whole point is that online dating is a BAD advice to give to neanthuman and to any aspie guy and probably would be a big waste of time and money for the guys but it 's a perfect advice for an aspie girl seeking for a date . So go for it julie I wish you luck.

Oh, you mean like everyone on the face of the god damn world does all the time? I could look as unique as I possibly can and the odds of someone choosing to talk to me are still only like 1/5000.

The thing is, because of the numbers, they can get away with it.

Note that I never said this was fair.

(FYI, I've put quite a bit of time into my own profile, and have very nice pix on it taken from several different angles. However, there's no doubt that even if neither of those things were true, simply being female would get me SOME responses, though not as many.)

First of all, if you had been paying attention instead of simply spluttering with rage, you would have noticed that I very strongly discouraged using paid sites, so it couldn't possibly be a waste of money to follow my advice.

Second, I agree it is bad advice for YOU, since you are outraged by the very idea of putting effort into your profile; and I doubt you could hide your hostility against women long enough not to scare any girl away.

However, I think it's good advice for aspies who are willing to put some time into it, and willing to accept that the numbers aren't in their favour.

Yes, there's a lot of competition, but it's worth a shot. I would never, ever have met my last two boyfriends offline. Also, many aspies communicate more easily online than they do in person.

Im so hurt
Also, I agree that college sucks, but for someone with social ability it would be probably one of the best places to find single females. Plus the age range is vast.

No. I said unique.
Works for me. You
just have to push it
further. Costume, my
friend, costume.