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Ana54
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27 Sep 2007, 2:24 pm

I have both sympathy and empathy; I love them, they're fun, they feel good, and they don't depress me. :)



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27 Sep 2007, 2:36 pm

I am a very sympathetic person, but unless I've been in the same situation as someone, my empathetic tendencies are sorely lacking. It's just very hard for me to put myself in someone else's shoes... :oops:



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27 Sep 2007, 2:39 pm

Ana54 wrote:
I have both sympathy and empathy; I love them, they're fun, they feel good, and they don't depress me. :)


Sympathy scares me a little - because it can easily go into condenscendence. Empathy is easier to manage and rings truer for me - it's honest compassion straight from and to the heart on an eye to eye level given from an experiential place. I can offer hope, not advice - cause I actually experienced what this person is going through - or very close to it. If not I will just offer the best vibe I can. Or not. Depends on the circumstances. Sometimes just bowing out in silence is ok.......though I don't ever want to wish someone ill. It's too much of a karmic risk.



Last edited by jjstar on 27 Sep 2007, 2:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

sonny1471
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27 Sep 2007, 2:40 pm

I've been told over and over by several different people that I have neither of those things. At least that are obvious to other people. I actually got broken up with after boyfriend's grandpa died and I didn't "comfort" him enough. I was like "I didn't know the guy... why would I be sad?" I told him I was sorry that he died. I guess that wasn't enough.



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27 Sep 2007, 2:51 pm

I've also been told that. And sometimes I feel very cold-hearted and very self-centered and un-empathetic to other people. I try to bring myself back - because I don't want to end up a bitter and cynical sob all alone and crazy.



poopylungstuffing
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27 Sep 2007, 3:01 pm

I have tended to have problems with these....I have them, but tend to express them in a weird backwards way..if at all...

I have alot of frustration with the way my emotions tend to manifest.



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27 Sep 2007, 3:03 pm

I have no sympathy, or empathy, I was bad with it, I actually posted a forum about this too, awhillle back.. http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... ht=#644685

I've gotten a lot better with it, but still have problems with it.


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samtoo
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27 Sep 2007, 3:58 pm

I have both... I try to use empathy more though.


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27 Sep 2007, 4:08 pm

This is difficult. I am capable of reading when people are upset or stressed, through experience, and it upsets me that they are, and I try in my own way to help. Since I won't have the words to comfort them, I try to DO something for them, such as take on more workload if it's a colleague, or clean the house if it's my mum.

However, I don't feel the "right" emotions. My grandpa fell off a ladder last weekend and I had to look after my granny, his wife, whilst my mother took him to hospital. I have am mild enough to be able to imagine what is going through her mind, (grandpa won't be able to drive and she will lose her independence), which is sort of having empathy. But I don't feel it with her, I wasn't even upset at all, although I knew I should be - I do care about both of them. All I wanted to do was listen to my music on headphones. Again, I am mild enough to know that I can't do that, so I at least stayed with her and talked even if I was awful and made faux pas.



siuan
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27 Sep 2007, 5:36 pm

Eh. I'm somewhat sympathetic. When it is deserved and not merely some drama crap. Or when it's my kids. I'm not sure of the difference between sympathy and empathy.


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Sedaka
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27 Sep 2007, 5:38 pm

i have both, but prolly apply them differently than many. im a biatch, what can i say?


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Sylvius
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28 Sep 2007, 4:54 pm

sonny1471 wrote:
I was like "I didn't know the guy... why would I be sad?"

That's a very Aspie thing to do. I got in trouble at work once for saying aloud, "People I don't know die every day; why should this one bother me more than they do?"

Now when people get shown around the office they skip my corner. I think I like it better this way.



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28 Sep 2007, 4:59 pm

I lack sympathy.
Empathy... I find I have more for people I don't know and who I read about than for anyone close to me.
And I have to really intellectualise to be able to imagine someone else's situation unless I have already experienced it myself.
And even when I do empathise, I find I can only offer assistance on a totally unemotional level



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28 Sep 2007, 5:07 pm

Yes, I think I have enough of empathy and sympathy, although I fail to express it in rea life, it seems it is easier for me with this online.


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28 Sep 2007, 5:15 pm

Everybody!



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28 Sep 2007, 5:26 pm

I had a post before were I tried to explain that sympathy is really a manifestation of empathy. Which means your going to have similar relative amounts of both.

http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules.php? ... c&p=880214

TheMachine1 wrote:
greenblue wrote:
but I think this might be related to sympathy more than empathy.


Studies on empathy suggest sympathy is directly related. For example in the case of a doctor who is in physical pain himself. He is for more likely to over prescribe pain medications to a patients in pain. But he is likely to do the reverse if he is not in pain(under prescribing pain medication). A doctor on the autism spectrum regardless if they were in pain or not might just prescribe the medication in a pedantic way according to some written or imagined protocols. Which in most cases would be the correct procedure. Though that same aspie doctor might let a person who could not pay for treatment died a painfull death without a second thought.