what should I do if NTs think I'm lazy, slow, poor, stupid?

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sassyaspie
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28 Sep 2007, 2:58 am

I missed the report deadline for my boss. i don't know whether she would think that about me?

In general, if NTs say directly to your face that you're lazy, how should you respond to them?

I don't know how NTs perceive "laziness", but me, as an aspie, I don't like that label for me, especially at work, b/c it'll cause me troubles.


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tomamil
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28 Sep 2007, 4:23 am

when they tell me i am lazy, maybe they are right... i am the only one responsible for my failures...



different
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28 Sep 2007, 4:49 am

Tell them that you are not lazy.. Explain to them that you have Aspergers Syndrome and that this makes you more tired and lose energy on things that NT's can handle.

That is my suggestion, but then again, I am very open with what my problems are and who I am. This might not fit anyone because it can get you in trouble too...

/different



MrMark
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28 Sep 2007, 6:31 am

Actually, I have the opposite problem. I'm actually being encouraged to be less productive and it's really tickin' me off. Workin' my ass off is one of my coping strategies.


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2ukenkerl
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28 Sep 2007, 7:07 am

Well, my last boss said that about ME! It is even WORSE when you make a little mistake and the customer says she wants your boss to work on it because he did such a great thing with such and such and my stomach hit the floor and I felt like THROWING UP, because ******I******* did that! In fact, even with all the mistakes I made(not that many really), EVERY good thing was due to ME! I was the admin, the one that handled releases, did the programming, support, etc... My boss only sold, and he garnered trust by crediting himself with my successes. I even got credit for some of HIS failures!

And trying to do this with over a dozen customers?!?

ALSO, when I left, the company basically collapsed. ONE customer using the product I last created.

Hey, you CARE! There is something to be said for that. MOST don't!

BTW I don't know about YOUR situation, but sometimes I fail to report because I am too busy doing everything else.

BTW My last boss ALSO said he couldn't do it without me, that I was good and fast, that he STILL only knows a portion of what I do about computers, and that I am the smartest person he knows. Those statements kind of speak against being lazy, huh?



Quirky_Girl72
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28 Sep 2007, 8:23 am

Ask them to stop projecting their own fears and issues on to you!
In addition, they cannot possibly fathom how overwhelmed many of us get, while just thinking about attempting to the tiniest task!


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MrMark
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28 Sep 2007, 8:40 am

Quirky_Girl72 wrote:
Ask them to stop projecting their own fears and issues on to you!
In addition, they cannot possibly fathom how overwhelmed many of us get, while just thinking about attempting to the tiniest task!

Sorry to disagree, but even merely suggesting to someone that maybe they're projecting their shadows onto you is pretty much pointless. It just makes them feel defensive and tends to escalate the situation. Even if they were capable of understanding the concept of projection, they're not very likely to recognize it in themselves, and certainly not because somebody points it out to them. Jungian psychology is an extremely difficult thing for anyone to grasp. It took me years to even begin to understand it, and I'm a pretty smart guy. :wink:

Nevertheless, it can be very helpful to one's own sanity to recognize others projections. It can be even more helpful to recognize one's own projections.


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richardbenson
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28 Sep 2007, 5:53 pm

theres not really anything you can do, i remember in school teachers used to say that about me all the time. when really my intrests was in specific areas :x


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RaoulDuke
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28 Sep 2007, 5:58 pm

different wrote:
Tell them that you are not lazy.. Explain to them that you have Aspergers Syndrome and that this makes you more tired and lose energy on things that NT's can handle.

That is my suggestion, but then again, I am very open with what my problems are and who I am. This might not fit anyone because it can get you in trouble too...

/different


That won't work. People don't like excuses.



Prof_Pretorius
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28 Sep 2007, 6:24 pm

Well, I usually cope by getting quite drunk (sometimes while on the job) and then later curling up in the fetal position underneath my bed, and refusing to come out for several days.

Your mileage may vary...


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Macbeth
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28 Sep 2007, 6:53 pm

I got called Bone Idle at school, way before diagnosis, and all it did was make me think of this:

[youtube]http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=_ygcBhZ-yDw[/youtube]

Sufficient to say, I hadnt got a clue wtf I was doing that involved Danger Mouse.


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