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Brittany2907
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05 Oct 2007, 7:38 am

My mothers ex partner trespassed into my house whilst my mother was away at a friends house. He demanded to know where she was, but I did not know the adress and told him that.
Then he asked if my mother was sleeping with other men, and I told him that it was none of his business and that she isn't that I know of.

So anyway...he went on about how he still loved my mother and it really intimidated me as I was scared that he was going to hit me, but he didn't.
He continued to interigate me and left after about 15-20 minutes.

After he left I went into shock and had to tell an ex neighbour to come over because I was freaking out. Then I had a meltdown while she was here.
After the meltdown, my ex neighbour told me to ring the police and tell them that my mothers ex partner trespassed onto this property. I had to give details to them about what happened and I also told them that he was a stalker.
Now tomorrow I have to go to the police station and make a formal statement, my mother has to come aswell and I haven't even told her about any of this yet! They are going to try and get a tresspass order against my mothers ex partner and it may have to go to court and I might have to testify!
I am scared of what will happen and I am scared that if the trespass order is not initiated that mothers ex will come after me and hurt me, or maybe even kill me. Even if the trespass order gets put in place, I am worried that once he is legally "no longer a threat" he will come after me anyway and do more damage to me and/or my family.

How do I possibly handle all of this on my own?


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batista90
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05 Oct 2007, 7:43 am

my advice...get a shotgun lets see if he comes to another visit...or maybe beter get a meltdown when he says someting to u and yell him back :lol:



Brittany2907
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05 Oct 2007, 8:21 am

batista90 wrote:
my advice...get a shotgun lets see if he comes to another visit...or maybe beter get a meltdown when he says someting to u and yell him back :lol:


:lol: :lol: :lol: Very tempting indeed to get a shotgun...but am 16 and don't think that it is legal for me to buy one.
I wonder if my meltdowns would scare him away...*thinking* :lol:. But unfortunately I can't just force myself to have one haha.


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lola1
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05 Oct 2007, 8:29 am

Brittany you're only a kid and shouldn't have to deal with this by yourself. You really, really need to tell your mum the whole story and then let HER decide whether to go down the whole injunction route.

She knows this man better than you so will be better equipped to judge how he may react. Let her take the decision out of your hands though.

Good luck



sigholdaccountlost
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05 Oct 2007, 8:59 am

Brittany2907 wrote:
batista90 wrote:
my advice...get a shotgun lets see if he comes to another visit...or maybe beter get a meltdown when he says someting to u and yell him back :lol:


:lol: :lol: :lol: Very tempting indeed to get a shotgun...but am 16 and don't think that it is legal for me to buy one.
I wonder if my meltdowns would scare him away...*thinking* :lol:. But unfortunately I can't just force myself to have one haha.


I don't know where you are but in England, you first have to ask the person to leave. And then and only then if they don't, they're trepassing.

You don't scritctly have to but it looks really good if you just go 'I have asked once. If you do not leave, I will call the police'


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Brittany2907
The ultimate storm is eternally on it's
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05 Oct 2007, 9:12 am

sigholdaccountlost wrote:
Brittany2907 wrote:
batista90 wrote:
my advice...get a shotgun lets see if he comes to another visit...or maybe beter get a meltdown when he says someting to u and yell him back :lol:


:lol: :lol: :lol: Very tempting indeed to get a shotgun...but am 16 and don't think that it is legal for me to buy one.
I wonder if my meltdowns would scare him away...*thinking* :lol:. But unfortunately I can't just force myself to have one haha.


I don't know where you are but in England, you first have to ask the person to leave. And then and only then if they don't, they're trepassing.

You don't scritctly have to but it looks really good if you just go 'I have asked once. If you do not leave, I will call the police'


It is trespassing because he didn't knock on the door, he has no right to come in the house. I was upstairs, he unlocked the door with a key that he still has as we didn't change the locks...and just walks upstairs.
I am not in England...I am in New Zealand.


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pandd
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05 Oct 2007, 10:06 am

Brittany2907 wrote:
It is trespassing because he didn't knock on the door, he has no right to come in the house. I was upstairs, he unlocked the door with a key that he still has as we didn't change the locks...and just walks upstairs.
I am not in England...I am in New Zealand.

A change of locks might help.

It might help to just know what would be expected of you and what is likely to be entailed in the process. You could probably get this information either by checking out the law itself or checking out websites where such information could be expected, (for instance if 'Woman's Refuge' has a web site the information is likely to be there, also social service web sites such as Child Youth and Family will probably have information about seeking protection orders, or a link to where you can such information).

I cannot help but think you and your mother might not be better served by stronger protection than a mere trespass order (which will not stop him from legally approaching you in the street for instance). Given your young age and the aggressive manner in which he confronted you, having let himself into the house and even after finding you (a very young person) to be home all alone, a judge might be very sympathetic to granting stronger protection to both you and your mother. Especially if there is a history of confrontations (even one such incident away from the home would be helpful in proving your need for the protection, but even without, one could argue that if trespassed by an order, the fact that he cannot access you both at home and would be perhaps somewhat 'annoyed' is good cause to extend the protection to your persons rather than centering it on a property). You and your mother should explore the options to ensure the utmost protection is granted to you. Given the current political/public campaign against violence/abuse and the fact that you are very young and were confronted aggressively while home alone, you might find the judge more inclined to up your protection than usual.

The disadvantage (as I understand) to seeking stronger protection is that the party the order is sought against has to be given a chance to defend the order before it can be issued. However, if there is reason to believe you and your mother would be in danger while waiting for the process to be completed (as it would appear might be the case) then this would justify applying for a temporary order that (if granted) would be in place until the formal procedure (the other party has to be given the opportunity to contest a more permanent order before it can be granted) to grant a more permanent order has been achieved.

Please note the comments are off the top of my head and it would be best to seek legal advice rather than rely on my comments. In fact, it sounds to me like a serious situation so your mother should explore her options for protection to ensure you both get as comprehensive protection as the law can offer. The police and courts are generally obliged to assist persons seeking orders of protection and you should be able to get practical advice from sources such as 'Woman's Refuge', 'Citizen Advice' and probably the court's duty solicitor (although the latter is probably the option of last resort).

The judge can only issue the orders applied for, so it's important to know what you are in a position to ask for protection-wise if you wish to receive all the protection the courts might be able to offer.