A study:rebuke the notion of eye contact over verbal contact

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A post in another thread made me think of this... here's the post...

We assume in our modern times that 'good eye contact' is a positive thing.

Is it possible for people to emphasize eye contact to the degree that verbal communication skills suffer? (a rhetorical question, to be sure, but hopefully stimulating a nice discourse here)

obviously we are going NT hunting on this one

As a matter of example, I can lose the conversation momentarily by turning my attention on making appropriate eye contact: towards the correct eye (can't focus on both at the same time), for the correct length of time (less the other person starts to feel the pressure of supposed scrutiny and loses focus themselves), and with the correct facial expression support.

When talking to my Aspie friend, I find that I can comfortably look away and still keep my thought process going (as best as I can normally anyway ), and not stop to wonder if she is concerned about my 'no eye contact'. Conversely, I know that even when she is not looking at me directly (most of the time), I am getting very eloquent, articulate feelings and explanations from her.

Plus it gives me 'private' moments to watch her, which is always pleasant.

So in regards to the quote above...

Might we be better off as a society if we emphasized 'thinking' and 'speaking', above 'eye contact'?

I think so!

I was taught early on to remove my sun glasses when speaking to people and I do so when seeing my doctor. I shouldn't. I do it with others too, but for the most part that's just repetition speak, they just think it's new. My councilor now understands when I turn out the lights when I come into the room. The doctor already has them off, now. But...I was still taught to keep eye contact and I can and do. I have to have a preplan on what I'm going to say. If I make real eye contact I get lost. If I have need for thought my eyes go elsewhere.

To do public speaking, as in on a stage, a presentation, forget it, it's notes or nothing would come out of my mouth. Something I felt obligated to do at one point in my life. To be asked questions after the speech and still be on the stage, is just plain excrusciating and I suspect comes out rather dumb. I can't tell because it's like I'm really not able to listen to it either, it's like I'm not really there.

Anybody that comes to the house, well, they're use to me. If I were to get up and start pacing as I talked, they would just shrug it off and know it's just the way I am. That I don't make eye contact all the time is also excepted. If others don't like it, don't come in.