I'm... frightened

Post Reply New Topic

I'm planning on meeting girl I like for second time. I've known her online since way back in June, and now I want to meet her for the second time. Going up to where she is and my plan is to ask her out at one point while I'm there...
It's such a bizarre situation... I really hope the winds of fortune are blowing my way.

Any help? Motivation? I'd gladly accept any help and appreciate it very well. Thankyou muchly to anyone who is willing to either calm me down or help me out or offer advice... anything.

I'm doing pretty much the same exact thing next weekend. Good luck...

To me, this is kind of scary because I'm traveling to a different city to meet a person who I think I know very closely (we're more or less "best friends")... but do I really know her that well if we've only communicated via text (email, LJ, AIM, text messages) and phone calls? I mean, I'm staying with her, which puts me in a vulnerable situation, kind of... if she isn't as benevolent as I think she is. Granted, I have a "ground crew" back at home and everything, but still... it's a freaky situation, no doubt about it. But with very good possible consequences, which is why I'm going.

In your case, I say just pay attention to the chemestry (e.g. how much she touches you, whether or not she looks at you often for long periods of time, etc.) and take things from there. That's what I'm trying for at least, although AS might make that kind of hard.

Hold on man. There's no point to "ask her out". You've met her once, and are going to meet her again, aren't u? That's pretty much what "going out" is. If you're looking for something exclusive between the two of u, then that u should address, but you're actually a lot further along that u seem to think. Just relax and do what you've been doing that's been working for the past 4 months.

Stick to your guns man and show her that you care. And when the time is right, slowly reveal it. Remember, slow is the best move.

There needs to be some sort of listing of all of these terms, in the past I've gotten a bit confused as to just what each indicates.

samtoo: you're ahead of me in a sense, I'm still stuck several states away from the woman I want to see. A bit maddening, to say the least.

Any anxiety, nervousness, fear....I have no suggestions whatsoever. I think it may just be part of it, dealing with those feelings as best as you can.

Asking her out? Well, as I already mentioned, I really don't know what that "means," as relative to any other relationship terminology. I think I understand what you are going for even if the words don't always make sense to me. Try not to rush things, for the last thing you really want to do is make her feel rushed. If you feel like she's on the same page as you (how to tell that...again...at a loss) then consider talking with her about it. If you aren't sure, as long as things are going well, preferably very well, then let things progress on their own.

I guess both options involve risk. On one hand, you could ask her towards the end of your trip, and she could get a bit freaked out because she isn't as far along as you are...or things could work quite well. On the other, the wait is frustrating, she could feel exactly the same, and she may be hoping you mention something along these lines. Or she may not.

I'm sure that was all really helpful.

Thanks anyway buddy. I still have these bizarre confidence swings... even when confident it's a bit of a wrestle with conflicts from the bad side of aspergers... when I'm down it becomes my own personal hell.

But I wouldn't go for a girl unless she was understanding... I think I can trust my instincts a bit at least...

But I hate that aspies are so vulnerable in certain ways... it makes me brace myself a lot in fear of being taken advantage of...
Now very few times in my recent life have I been taken advantage of, but it has happened before. Not with Heather, but it has happened.

I swear I'm stronger these days... but I cannot for the life of me understand myself 100%