How to tell if a girl is interested in you

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I see a lot of people on this forum asking for tips on figuring out if a girl is interested in them. I thought I'd give some "field tested" tips.

When you're in conversation with the girl, look for certain "Indicators of Interest" or IOIs. Many of these are subconscious, meaning she does them without noticing. One or Two IOIs mean there's something there. The more IOIs she gives you, the more interested she is.

Here are a few IOIs:
She comes over and starts the conversation
When she talks to you, she plays with jewelery or bracelets
She laughs at your jokes, both the funny ones and the not so funny ones
If she is sitting next to you with her legs crossed, the leg on top is pointed toward you.
If she has her legs crossed and she is dangling her shoe on her toe.
If she smiles a lot, and its a real smile, not a fake looking smile.
When she's standing, her feet are pointed toward you.
She touches you, intentionally.
She leans in toward you when you are speaking

Here are a few Indicators of Disinterest or IODs:
When talking to you, she rarely makes eye contact
when sitting, her leg is crossed away from you.
She leans away from you
she never laughs at your jokes
she gives another guy a large number of IOIs

Note that these aren't hard and fast rules, just because a girl IODs you doesnt mean there's no hope. Also, just because a girl IOIs you doesnt mean she's yours, but she will be if you try.

Are these tips from "The Pickup Artist?" That show made some good points.

Actually, IOIs are pretty well known by pick-up artists across the web whether they watched that show or not (I actually didnt).

If you watched that show, pay close attention to what they said, that stuff will really help you out. Mystery is a genius (If genius can even describe him).

Oh and I don't know if he mentioned it on the show, but he didnt go out with girls until i think after college. Look at him now. It is possible to turn things around.

I think this kind of stuff is bunk. I've recently come to the conclusion that there is no real way to tell if someone is interested in you. For me, I've decided to not assume anything from now on unless the guy actually asks me on a date.

correct!

Well these are the IOIs girls show to guys. Guys give similar ones to girls, but there are some differences. For example, guys don't cross their legs, or wear jewelery, but some of them still apply I'm sure.

Now, if you're a girl, its my opinion that the guy should ask out the girl, it shows that he likes her and has the guts to ask her out. Now for aspy girls, some of these IOIs may not show as much as they do for NTs (we aspies all have body language problems, but fixable ones). Much like any other attempt at improving one's body language, give a guy you like some of these IOIs on purpose. Like, cross your legs towards him, play with jewelry etc. NT guys generally pick up on these IOIs subconsciously, they get this feeling the girl likes them, they just dont know why. Eventually, you might start giving guys IOIs subconsciously, and they'll know you like them and that they can ask you out.

So yeah, that's all the advice I can give to girls about IOIs. I can only help so much, seeing as I'm a guy and have a different view of the situation, but the above should help.

yea , some girls show different or no signs at all .

Well, it's not everything, but there are some signals that people give off which betray their feelings. Being disadvantaged at picking up on those things, there's some utility in knowing how to more objectively spot them. None of it substitutes for more individual interplay and conversation, but it might help you identify if someone doesn't want to talk to you or perhaps does, but itsn't direct. Even when people are direct, it isn't necessarily an honest indicator. I had a girl ask me on a date last year, and then she never answered my phone calls. In a way, subconscious indicators are more reliable than what people say.

good grief. just talk, forget the body s**t. if you can talk ok then it all leads from that.

I quoted you out of peer pressure, and because it isn't bunk.
It's how NTs work, not for aspies though

Hey, I wear jewellery. Why should we (men) not wear it?

Anyways, your hints are interesting but I think some girls also do these things without really knowing it and without meaning anything. I mean, some guy once told me "if she moves her hair away so that you can see her face well: then she's interested" - well, I don't know, but I sometimes move my hair away just to stop it from hanging in my face... I don't think these acts are necessarily signs and the best way to know if she's interested is (unfortunately also the hardest way for shy persons) to ask her out and see if she says "yes" or not.

Le Petit Prince:

If a girl is interested in you she will show IOIs. If she shows no signs, if you have no reason to suppose that she likes you, then either she doesnt like you, or she bad at showing it (and that's her problem, not yours)

Spot17 and kate:

I don't remember the exact statistic, but at least 70% of communication is nonverbal (it might be 90, but I know its at least 70). Its true. As Aspies, we don't read body language as well as NTs, so we don't feel its effect as much. But it has a huge impact on communication.

jfberge and Basshead:

You guys have it right. Body language is how NTs communicate how they feel. Often they will not be completely direct in their words, but their body language will tell you what their lips dont. However, I think there's a misconception that this is "not for aspies". Aspies can learn how body language works, and its useful to do so. Once you can objectively pick up peoples "cues", you can figure out who likes who etc. even better than some NTs.

crackedpleasures:

Go ahead and wear jewelery! If a woman compliments you on it, thats an IOI btw now about what that guy told you, although you may do it to get hair out your face, the girl is probably doing it without noticing. Now, if she does one of these things, that shows slight interest, but if she gives you a lot of IOIs, she probably likes you. if she says no when you ask her out, its not your fault, you did the right thing by trying.

Well you're right of course, but I mean by that example: out of all women removing the hair from their face most will do it just because having your hair in front of your eyes is not very practical.

As for the crossed legs: that same guy also told most women cross their legs as a sign of "not available, please keep a distance" whereas if they relaxedly sit down with both legs down it would be a sign of them feeling comfortable in your presence. Not sure if that is true actually, but I thought I'd mention it.

This guy was very good with with approaching girls by the way. If he saw a nice female he just went over and started a chat. I wish I had the guts to do that

As for my jewelry: I wear make-up as well... Lot of people think I'm gay. I am NOT gay however. I guess it shows many people still think in stereotypes undeliberately. As in "make-up = intended for females and gay men". That a straight man can also just like the look of make-up is something they don't think about appartently...

when i met my real dad we went to a steak house and the waitress aparently flirted with me by saying, "wow you finished that steak already?" and i was like uh yeah can you get me another one? and my dad told me she was flirting with me when we went to the car.

First off, most girls use hair ties or pins to make sure their hair isnt in their eyes, but along their cheek. What the guy means is that they'll move it from their cheek and tuck it over their ear.

He's sort of right about the crossed legs thing, it can be an IOD, but sometimes its just because she's wearing a skirt. In which case you watch which way the leg on top is facing. if both legs are down, that's a really good IOI though, he's right.

Now about approaching girls, this is something that's good to learn to be good at. It can be tough at first though. Here's a few things to remember about approaches:

1. The guy who approaches the most girls gets rejected the most, but he also gets more phone numbers.

2. You need self confidence for this. Basically, if a girl rejects you just think to yourself "Too bad for her, she just missed a great time with a great guy. If she knew how to spot a good guy, she would've said yes." You may not think that's true at first, but its the kind of thing where if you believe in it, it'll become true. If you can approach a girl, not caring if she says yes or no, you'll seem less nervous, and she'll be impressed that you have the guts to approach her unafraid.

This guy you mention sounds like he knows what he's doing. You may want to ask him to help you with approaches (you can walk up to a bunch of girls together and start a conversation). Having someone with you when you approach girls helps a lot, trust me. It's also good because he can tell you what you did well and where you need to improve.

hmm, he may have been just joshing you (playfully joking). If she was flirting, it would have more to do with how she said "wow you finished that steak already?" and what she did as she said that.