Fighting for My Job

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Doufus, no biggie. I am rarely offended.

Instead of touching me or saying platatudes when I am upset my partner reminds me what I need to do to settle and then lets me do it: deep breathing and going away from the world / shutting it off for a while; spinning on the floor or otherwise stimming; rollerblading for an hour; curling up on the floor with my dogs.

Tom will also ask if he can help me work things out. Typically he starts this conversation with a platitude but all a platitude means is "Can I help you but NTs tend not to put it that way". Then I lay out the game board or map in my head and he helps with assessment. Logical as I am there are things I miss - and second opinions are a good thing

Hope you and deep thought are happy. Tom and I are.

Thanks, Julieme. I am glad you have your partner to help you. I care for Deepthought and we are happy. The amazing thing to me is that he's happy with me. That's rare for him and unheard of in his life for this long, about 3 years now. There are very difficult times, but are outweighed by the good times. Regarding the topic of fighting my job, that situation is difficult for me and I will see if I can look at it objectively, too, with a game plan.

Thanks. *smile*

I have been away at a conference and had both a difficult and a good time.
I talked with a friend who told me my work environment is very toxic. I guess I hadn't thought about it that way. She said the interpersonal mistakes I made would not have had the same effect in an environment where people were more mature and open-minded.
She suggested I find a post-doctoral training job and get out of there.
That validates my plan.
She also suggested some things that might help me do better in the next job, so now I have some hope of actually being able to be a psychologist some day. Given the amount of interpersonal skills necessary for the profession, I had almost given up because even the minimum necessary is beyond me. I also spent time with my ex, who, I found out, attributed all kinds of bad stuff to my Aspergers symptoms, and even though she (a psychologist too) agrees with the diagnosis, still attributes the sensory integration stuff to my having control issues and trying to manipulate her. I was amazed. She could not get beyond her impression of me as a bad person, even when she knew the explanation for my behavior.
My friend said the same thing about the people at my job. They can't let go of thier impression of me as a bad person, a threat.
So I really do need to leave. I wish I had time to build up my social skills reserve.
I appreciate all of your help.
I'll keep you posted.
Thanks

I have decided that this job is not worth compromising my health. Last week, the day before I was to leave for my conference, I got sick. I have celiac disease and every once in a while I inadvertently eat something poisonous to me (anything with wheat or wheatlike gluten). Not sure what made me ill, but after being up all night sick, I decided to call out.
Today my sup came into my office and asked if I was sure I had been sick,if it had not been that I wanted to leave early for the conference.
I said of course not, I was sick.
So I am running around trying to recover from the dual disorganization of having been ill and having gone to the conference anyway (not the best decision but I would have lost a lot of money) and here is this person asking if I am sure I was sick.
I didn't realize how stupid that question was until I got home from work.
No, I'm not sure. It is entirely possible that I just imagined the gastrointestinal distress - the cramps, the diarrhea and the dehydration, not to mention staying up all night.
Was I sure I was sick? No, I guess I should have called my doctor - she would have been able to make a better judgement. Maybe she would have told me to go to work.
What kind of question is that?
In another place I worked, I asked for a shift off because my grandmother was dying and I wanted to say goodbye. I was told that I should get back for my next shift.
My other grandmother died while I was at this job and I went for the funeral. They asked for proof of her death. Not like I had twelve grandmothers die...
Was I sure I was sick?
Ay yi yi...

At this point the grievance is waiting to go to arbitration. This will cost the agency a lot of money. All because my sup can't admit she made a mistake.
She is being really nice but trying to give me a hard time. So she is doing little things others would find harrassing or offensive. One example:
I had become friends with our triage coordinator. Last year I went to a conference, and when I came back the tc was cold toward me. Later she began hanging out in my sups office. Today my sup showed everyone pictures of the tc's newborn twins, but didn't ask if I wanted to see. Saved me the trouble of having to make that's cute noises, but I think it was meant to make me feel bad.
Am I the only person in the world who realizes that newborns are ugly? These are two day old oysters and my sup is saying one looks like Angela Jolie - hang on a sec, googling - who is a movie star.

I understand that I am supposed to feel bad, but I don't understand the purpose of making me feel bad. Am I supposed to hate my job because I didn't see oyster pictures?

The nice things have to do with letting me go home early after doing a double, or letting me have a long break between double shifts. I'm keeping a log because I don't understand. I don't know when to be worried.

My sup has reinstated her surveillance of my working at other sites in the agency. They called to ask me to do a shift and the sup at that site said they had to get permission from my sup, who said if I work it I have to leave early (losing 4 hours of work) tomorrow.
The last time she did this another shift came available when she wasn't there and I was able to just take it. I think there is some serious karma operating here.
It's a good thing.
They are now frantically interviewing because so many people have left and no one wants the shifts they're offering. A couple of people quit after my sup trained them. You'd think they'd get a clue....

WooHoo!
My sup is getting married. She's preoccupied! She's distracted! She's leaving me alone! Plus we have had such high turnover we have a lot of new people which means that there is space for me to have more moderate social interactions and maybe they won't expect me to be so social (because they're new).

Sup is gone for a whole week!

Easy, peasy, lemon squeezy!

Well, that wasn't easy.
I have been suspended. It is a long story which I have discussed in other parts of the forum.
I have hired a lawyer because they have been very bad about the way they suspended me. I have nothing in writing and they are not talking to me. I have called the union and a lawyer but I am worried now that they will say that I just didn't come to work. However I can document through phone records that I tried to find out if I was supposed to come in.
The suspension is for an investigation into "whether you are fit to do this kind of work." I am wondering how they conduct this investigation without me. The only thing that would make me unfit for the work is if I had committed some crime or if I were medically unfit for work. Since no doctor has said that I cannot work, they are standing on shaky ground.
But these are people who don't like to lose. So, I am afraid that I lose. I cannot allow them to treat me this way any more. If it were a matter of something that could be resolved then I would do it, but a book I have been introduced to leads me to believe that I have done nothing wrong and they want rid of me because I am the current target. Maybe I made some small interpersonal error, but nothing to cause this.
I am sad.