Things I've learned in college

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1) If I ever attempt to drive drunk, I will crash into a house as I swerve to avoid hitting a police car.

2) IF I ever go skydiving I'll forget to keep my legs straight out.

3) My professor will support my ambition to be a dinosaur when I grow up just as much as she supports my classmates desires to be teachers, doctors, and lawyers. My artwork will be proudly displayed by theirs.

4) Sneakers on lineolium can make for great ice skating

5) Do not attempt to drink soda from a can two stories below you.

6) Acorns make great army men for parachutes

7) A crayon picture of your professor will be cherished just as much as that $500 painting on the wall (as long as you don't make the drawing on the painting)

College students deserve candy just because its friday

9) Work consists of playing video games, playing mini-basketbal, watching dvds, and building puzzles - why do people complain about going to a place like this?

10) The best time to study for a test is in the class you have right before it. The best time to do homework is in the class you have right after it.

11) Effective time management is important. There is no need wasting your time scheduling a break in your schedule for lunch. Merely buy some food in between classes, show up a few minutes late, and start eating.

12) Wear a full body suit to biology class, because interesting bugs and worms you've never seen before are running loose about the room, and your professor will respond to your screams by telling you the complete life cycle of whatever bug just came crawling out of your notebook.

13) Save money. If you join enough clubs you can have a free lunch and dinner every day of the week

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Giving other people a "charge" out of life every time your feet brushed across the carpeting in the library. Sometimes, that static
electricity really hurt!