The teacher is making things worse!

Post Reply New Topic

Hi all!
We have had a really difficult school week. I will try to keep it short, lol I'm probably not known for that, ooops sorry
Monday J's first OT appointment half the day at OT clinic, second half of the day at school. Very disstressed angry J when I pick him up- he is in angry stressed shut down mode. After talks with his teacher about OT findings, she says "take what the OT says with a grain of salt, the OT is making money out of you" Hmmm OT picked up on stuff imediatly and thought the situation was a little worse than we relised.
Tuesday- everything O.K
Wednesday- major meltdown after school, what for? I still am not sure.
Thursday- School sleepover (getting ready for camp program)
J has me promise that I will pick him up at anytime if he gets to scared. (this is his 3rd time doing this and we've never had a problem yet) I am told by another parent that J looks very unhappy in the morning but what do I do? I waited till the right time to get him. When I go to collect him from his class, his teacher is helping him pack all his stuff up ( she isn't doing a good job stuff is hanging from his bag) I tell her I will do it. Teacher goes to help another child, when she gets back she sees that I am reorganizing J's bag to make everything fit. Then she growls at J in front of me ( J was turned to the boy behind me and chatting no big deal in my eyes, he is tired)
"J YOU SHOULD BE WATCHING AND HELPING YOUR MUM! THIS IS WHY WE HAD THE PROBLEM LAST NIGHT!! YOUR PANTS WERE OVER THERE AND YOUR BEDDING OVER THERE!!" I'm thinking What the hell! I'm thinking ok she is tired also but I am so angry if I say anything it wont be good. If she can speak to him like this in front of me how is she talking to him when I'm not here? Then I hand J a pillow and say here mate put this pillow inside this pillow case and I start to show him. She then Booms "SEE YOU CAN DO IT!" I ask J later if he got in trouble last night, he nods then shakes his head. I said his teacher said that he did something wrong he tells me he doesnt know what she means!
I'm fighting a losing battle, I need this evaluation over so I can get the recommendations in place and shove them under his schools nose. Personally I'm not convinced that this will help tho. His teacher informed me during one of our run ins that she has done a lot of research on as/asd. What ever!
What worries me also is my little boy is a talker (big time original dx was adhd because of this) he talks when he is happy,content and feels safe. He is shuting down. We are getting more frequent meltdowns, and much less talking. His behaviour is even much more as/asd if that makes any sence. How do I make them understand?
He is a bright, happy, careing, wonderful little kid who just doesnt fit into their box. Oops sorry this is long again

I don't understand these sleepovers, why is your son left with a teacher overnight? I wouldn't leave my son with a yeller like that. She sounds mean and unfair. When things got really bad with my son, we pulled him out until the district offered something better.
We're about to do it again.

I wonder how old this little boy is. Parents would have to sign a permission form to allow sleep-overs. If the teacher is so clueless, it would be best not to consent to any more sleep overs. She's probably nowhere near as knowledgeable about Asperger's/HFA as she purports to be.

He is 8 nearly 9. This is the third year he has done this, the last two years he had a great time and had really been looking forward to going this year. Had I know how this years teacher would behave or how stressed he was going to become, he never would have gone.

The teacher sounds like a bully. I wish they were screened for attitude. The elite military groups do it, why not schools with kids with special needs?

I figured I'd add my $0.02: I once had to go away for three nights for North Vancouver's famous Outdoor School program in elementary school. I acquiesced because I didn't know what else to do, not because it was a good idea. I didn't like it at all - I didn't learn anything, and everyone basically ignored me. I had to work hard to figure out the proper ettiquette in the dining hall and in just about everything else. I consider myself very lucky not to have been bullied on that trip.

Anyway, I digress. I had to get it off my chest. Your sun sounds like me. I went from being happy and sociable to morose and withdrawn in grades 3/4 - and I'm beginning to suspect it's because of some kind of trauma/stress disorder. Get your kid to your shrink and specifically bring up trauma and stress. You may be glad you did and you might be able to save your son.

aurea

In my Opinion, why wait for an eval? Take your child out of that class now! Switch his teacher. I would do this immediatly as she sounds very abusive.

Last yr I had a verbally abusive teacher for my son, she wasn't as bad as that, but she had no problem telling my son he was lazy. We didn't have a dx in place for him yet and I kept thinking that she would be more understanding if she only understood autism better.

Well big mistake as it got so bad he ended up refusing to go to school the last 2 + months of school left.

Get him out, and get him a better teacher. I would keep him home until the school complied.

Lainie

Hi aurea,

I agree with the others. The teacher sounds horrible and if I were you I would either look into a new school for next year or start getting others involved - The Association for Children with a Disability are FANTASTIC for helping guide you through your child's rights and they'll advocate for you too.

If my child was with such a cr-p teacher, I'd keep him at home until this issue was resolved. What's the point in making him go if he's not happy? He's probably not learning much anyway.

My son's teacher isn't that good in some educational areas, but at least she's very nice to him and he's happy to go to school.

Make a huge fuss about it, document everything and start complaining. I make a fuss about everything now and I think people at the school are listening to me a teensy bit more...(or just nodding a lot, wishing I'd go away ).

Temma