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Does Aspies have a hard time expressing Love
Yes 94%  94%  [ 17 ]
No 6%  6%  [ 1 ]
Total votes : 18

Eric_C
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03 Nov 2007, 11:10 pm

I feel like I'm in a logical boring world where nothing ever world accurding to plan. I hate that. I always like to plan my future the way I want it to work but I guess that's not the case when it comes to Logical life.....

So theirfore I question

What is true Happiness

What is true Love

How come I'm not getting what I need

Am I iqnoring something,

I feel that I'm missing something.



Okay here's the thing. I'm a little shy revealing this but.
Okay, I got a crush. The crush is a close friend of mine. I'm not sure if she has a crush on me. Are personalities are very simulair but are goals are different.
She wants to work with politics and I want to be a puppeteer for adults.
She wants to be around more political people and I want to be around more Spontaneous people. Okay, our goals and interests are different, okay that's cool but does she still like me even though. We both have Asperger's and we can understand eachother. I worry if I'm being too much for her but I guess I'm not.

Is Love a hard thing for Aspies to express or what's the deal?

I felt like I'd tryed everything. It's like I never get a real answer back. I'm so confused. It must be tricky.


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siuan
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04 Nov 2007, 12:04 am

My husband and I are AS. We get each other enough to make it work, even during out personal rough times. I have to express love on my own terms. Now, kids have made that a bit different. You kind of have to give as they need. My husband and I have to be in the mood to show love (I don't just mean sex - any type of affection, verbal or physical).

As an Aspie, I sometimes feel like I am missing out because even another Aspie doesn't always get it, what I feel. I kind of just accept that, because I know it's me.


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Belle77
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04 Nov 2007, 12:29 am

My husband (ADHD but not AS) often asks me if I love him because I almost never say it on my own. Honestly, it annoys me that he wants me to say it so often. I know to say it back to him when he tells me that he loves me, but it's more of a reflex than a real feeling.



pixie-bell
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04 Nov 2007, 3:44 am

I developed a crush on a friend of mine...I thought he liked me also...he turned out to be gay :oops:



kxmode
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04 Nov 2007, 4:35 am

i have a hard time expressing love with my family...it's not that i don't care, it's just that i don't know how to care :(


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samtoo
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04 Nov 2007, 8:01 am

I guess they do... it's what blew my former chances...


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Sorenzo
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04 Nov 2007, 8:17 am

I have an easy time expressing love. I write poetry, half of which is love poetry. I used to be really shy about my feelings for people, but I've experienced the therapeutic value of telling those you care about how you feel.

Funny thing with me is, I have a very easy time feeling love. I can love women for any number of reasons, many of them considered bad or even horrible by other men.

Unfortunately I'm not generally very popular with the ladies of my age who are NT's, because they never understand me and rarely care to try because I'm... quirky. :)

But I truly know what love is, that's for sure.

I don't love my parents. I love my sister and my niece, because they matter to me. My parents never got to know me and pretty much let me raise myself, so I consider them more a kind of economic support. It sounds weird, I know, but I just don't feel any emotional attachment.

Romantic love... Is what everything is about. It is the thing that will make you throw away everything else. It is handing your soul to a person on a silver platter. It is never being able to consider what life would be like with other women. It goes beyond logic and rational thought. It can be inspired by rational thought, and ended with rational thought, but it works on a whole different level.

As for happiness... Having only felt it on rare occations, I can tell you that it is the feeling you get when you don't remember what it feels like to be sad (or worse). It makes you forget even previous states of happiness and because of that, every time you feel really happy you feel like it's the best feeling you have ever felt. It's lovely. Thank the gods for modern medicine.

And I know a lot of men are a lot less emotional than me... But I never stop loving a person. I still love people I haven't seen in years. I just wish women of my age wanted that kind of stability.

Just remember... Every person needs to find out what love is for him/her. It's not hard, you just have to let your choice matter to you. And stick with it.



Pugly
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04 Nov 2007, 11:13 am

It's difficult, mostly because of social anxiety. Or not expressing it in an appreciated way.

I'm fairly private, but have a desire to be open. I'm slowly becoming more open with people around me, and I'm improving.

I used to think if I express my feelings then people wouldn't like me. Or who wants to hear that.

But, if someone cares about you... then they will want to hear how you are doing. And likewise, you should care about what they are doing. It's an exchange of sorts.

A loving relationship is the ultimate form of this kind of exchange.

In terms of the question, these are concerns for the future. But don't let your head examine all the possibilities of the relationship before you even have a chance to start it.

Go based on how you are around each other. Is conversation smooth, can you make each other laugh? Do you look forward to being with her, and does she feel the same? Does she make you want to do kind things for her?

These are the important qualities, make sure you are compatible this way... then you have a foundation to work through the other issues.


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Wonder what it feels like to be in love?
How would you describe it, like a push or shove?
Guess I could pretend that this is all I need
Wanting more than what I have might appear as greed.


AdrianB
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04 Nov 2007, 4:17 pm

I have a hard time expressing love to people of which i don't know if i can.
Like my friends or best friends, i care for them a lot but have no idea if i can or should express this.

On the other hand, it's -extremely- easy for me to express love to a girl with which I'm in a relationship in or to my family.
It's so easy that it just goes automatically, constantly.