Bad/manipulative boss?

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Hi! I'm a software engineer, and although my boss seems to like me I've heard rumors from people outside my group that he's not a very good boss.

1. Most people get overtime time if they come in on Sunday instead of a weekday (Sunday is worth more than a weekday). My manager says you have to EARN extra vacation days. You can't just come in Sunday and get time for it. If you come in Sunday because you have extra work to get done for a deadline, it's like doing homework on the weekend in college -- you're just doing what's expected. No extra vacation days. This is quite problematic as I'm Jewish and have to use all the vacation days for all the holidays in the fall (which occur on weekdays this year).

2. Our building is closing and everyone is going to be moving to either North Reading (20 miles from Boston -- 1 hour plus commute for a Bostonian) or one block away -- we have two buildings. All of us live in Boston except for the manager, who lives in near North Reading. Guess what? It's North Reading -- the manager basically pulled rank just to make himself happy, and he told all of us to "suck it up". At the very least, the extra commute time will make it virtually impossible for me to see any of my AS therapists! It will also be basically 20 miles of highly stressful stop and go traffic, from what I've been told. The net result here is virtually everyone is trying to get out of our group before the move.

3. This was a guy who at one point basically said at a performance review "become NT or you're out". I'm still there, and I think I've gotten a little more open -- but I've noticed that my work has suffered a little because of the extra energy to open up.

4. A VERY curious thing happened once -- I had opened up and was joking around with the shuttle bus driver. The manager was on board. The manager called me in the next day and said that I shouldn't be talking to the driver like that. I told him that the driver liked it and was laughing, and the manager said the driver was laughing only to be polite. HOWEVER: the next time I saw the driver, I basically asked him if he wanted to hear more of my jokes, having doubted my boss's diagnosis. He said "By all means! It was genuine!". Sounds like my boss can't read emotions well either.

5. The only person I've heard rumors about the boss from is someone outside the group I talked with a couple of time. I doubt he's trying to pigeonhole me.

Is this office politics here? Is he trying to force me out? I doubt it's just me -- he's pissing off everyone else as well. He sounds like the manager I had at my previous company, who supposedly was also a nasty boss. Two managers, however, are all I really have to go on!

By the way -- I've asked for a transfer myself to a group that does QA: finding mistakes and problems with the product. I'm already well known for finding errors in functionality even though I'm technically a software developer. That would probably be AS heaven, especially if they remain in Boston. However, the guy who told me about the boss told me that the QA boss is WORSE than my current boss -- after I had already asked. My current manager doesn't know about the transfer request yet though.

What happens now?

ACG

Sounds like your boss has a big ego more than anything else. Just your typical upper managment type person.

Next time you see him, call him lumberg and just ask him "Whadaya say... YA DO HERE?"

OK maybe not that.

What makes you suspect he is singling you out?

I don't think he's singling anyone out in particular. I'm just concerned if there's office politics involved here that I don't see. Should I stand up for our group (I'm concerned I'll get laid off). Maybe I've had the misfortune of not recognizing a nasty boss if all the bosses I've ever had have been like this (nothing to compare to, so I assume it's normal).

ACG,

I get the impression your workplace just aches like tetanus and reeks of polyticks (many blood-sucking parasites) and from what I see in your post, I seem to see all the makings of it being a soul-sucking thing with no consideration for human needs along with the attitude that company production and function takes precedednce above all else and that its staff are to be nothing more than warm-blooded robots.

Why can't the employees have a bit of fun and exchange a bit of banter while on the job? Is there concern in the management that such behavior during business hours will "cut into production"? Some of the more successful employers around do allow the employees to interact informally. It seems to me it's just part of getting along in the workplace. It sounds like there's real bunch of goons running that show

Become NT or you're out. Really! I seem to hear an Aryan twang with that phrase And you mention having encountered the same kind of pattern with your previous employer(s). Sometimes I wonder if there isn't a prevalent attitude in the higher echelons of most if not all corporations: that there is this culture of corporate fascism where some employees are to be persecuted just because of being "a bit different" from everybody else.

You ask: what happens now? Your employer does not make a good impression in my book. I will start another thread on the subject of Corporate Fascism.

There does seem to be a culture of insecurity among the massively swollen Narcissistic Management egos in the workplace, especially those who know they are there happenstantially rather than on the basis of merit. There are a lot of that type around and they are constantly watching watching out for their own interests, as well as devising ways of 'getting at' other people.

Many of these swollen egos seem to want to turn you into biddable little carbon copy clones of themselves and if you do have a spark of individuality and they fail to expunge it, they inevitably plot and conspire to marginalise you even further.

Of course, there are those who are adept at the quid-pro-quo power brokering games and they are the ones who prosper, irrespective of ability in the work they sometimes do.

As most of my jobs have been of the drudge variety or even worse, the sharp end of putting up with members of the public, there has rarely been any opportunity to exercise worthwhile abilities or finely honed skills, so perhaps the office 'polyticks' games players are highly competent in their chosen field as well as 'playing the games'.

Hey now I feel insulted as one of the "lowly" bus drivers

I have a sup like this - she tells me I have done something inappropriate because she knows I have issues with it, then tells me not to try to solve it with the person who supposedly was offended. At one point she put this in writing so I had to take it to the union. It was withdrawn because she couldn't find anyone who would say that I had offended them. They interviewed everyone in the office.

She also does things at her convenience, like ask me to take lunch at 10 am (I arrive at so she doesn't have to worry about scheduling.
She really does want to get rid of me, so she does things to try to provoke me and things to reduce my income, like telling the other managers they can't hire me for a shift without talking to her. She also will come in and tell me to do things I already have done or am doing. She's either harrassed or threatened anyone who talks to me too long. In comparison, your boss seems selfish and treats people poorly but this does not seem directed toward you in particular.

In my mind your boss and my sup are examples of the negative end of the NT spectrum. If you can get out, get out. It is unlikely he is going to change, and it is more important for you to have what you need. You're lucky to have therapists who do aspergers. If it were me, I'd make that the priority. I live in Western Mass and there is no one out here - at least no one who takes my insurance. I don't have much in the way of mobility - I've a PhD in psychology and this area probably has two therapists for every resident.

I have also been told to act more NT - the result is that I am fighting for my job now - too many interpersonal disasters. I have a thread which I'm updating as developments occur.

I'd rather have a job where being NT wasn't so important, but I don't know where to look. Is the place you want to transfer friendly to neurodiverse folks? If so, I envy you.