How to deal with AS friend who has worse AS?

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I was just thinking about that.... she did tell me over the phone I could come but I had to wash dishes and....she did say "bring your rubber gloves".

Last edited by Ticker on 13 Nov 2007, 1:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Starr,

About my friend I really don't know who she could stay with. Her own family consists only of her brothers and she told them off before she moved to stay out of her life and she never wanted to talk to them again. Her parents are dead. One of the brothers made an attempt recently to contact her and she wouldn't even contact him back to even let him know she's still alive. I tried to convince her not to burn down all her bridges with her family but she doesn't always listen to me. Her boyfriend's parents hate her and want him to kick her out. I tried to convince her to get her own apartment because I think should could afford it but she refuses to live on her own.

Its all kinda sad because she gets no cards or gifts for any holiday and doesn't celebrate anything. Like if the boyfriend does buy that Thanksgiving dinner and take to his sisters they won't even pack a take home dinner to send back to her. And no she won't go with him to the dinner. None of his family have ever seen her because she hides when they come over and the one time they run into the two of them in a store she took off running behind some clothing racks. They have only seen the back of her head. I can't send things anymore because of her work shift and she isn't there to intercept the mail. He gets angry and takes it out on her when he finds out we are communicating. Even his sister threatened me to stop talking to my friend. She's been my friend for 20 years so its not like they should have any control over our friendship.

Ah, it is so sad, Ticker. It's horrible that they are trying to stop her from talking to you. Like WTF has it got to do with them, you're both adults. Grr....my blood is boiling! It's a control thing isn't it?

I don't know what else to suggest. But it must help your friend a lot to know that you are there and there's one person cares what happens to her.

The Hostess of the Year, well I shouldn't laugh, she is outrageous! But reading what you said about her set me to thinking that it would be a great way to get free meals for life (providing you knew enough people who'd be willing to go along with it). I wonder where it will end? How far will she go? Maybe she'll manipluate people to do all her chores for her eventually? Come to dinner. First buy it, wash up after it, then clean my house and do my ironing. Lol.

Starr- I think she has got the Hostess of the Year routine down. Her partner does ALL the cooking, cleaning, laundry. The only thing the hostess does is take the trash out a couple times a week and she does haul water back to the house and put it in the water tank. They live in boonies. When I lived with her I did all laundry, washed all dishes, dusted and she vacuumed once every three weeks and we had two shedding animals in the apartment and she took out the trash. Someone how she considered that equal distribution of household chores. Oh I forgot I also had to do the grocery shopping. Boy was I stupid! She has a cush job where basically she gets to surf the internet all day then she would come home and nap all day then take the dog for a walk then expect me to cook a meal. And everything I did, I did it wrong and would get bitched at by her that I didn't wipe the countertop off properly for instance. Well then wipe it off YOURSELF then! If only I had been that bold!

I feel like such a dumb Aspie realizing how much I was taken advantage of as I now see her doing it to others. She is a master of it because her mom does it too. Her mom is now insisting her husband change her diapers because she got to wear diapers in the hospital and decided she liked the idea. Not that she needs to wear them now that she is well. The whole family is insane like this. The best that could happen is to get my friend away from the fruitloop family.

I still get a chuckle out of the year after I had been dismissed from all future dinner parties because I won't wash their dishes...she threw a big party with other invitees and no one showed up!

Oh another time I had not heard from her for a year and suddenly got an invitation to go to her birthday dinner at a local restaurant. But I was told I should bring the pie I make that she likes. The pie takes about $20 worth of ingredients and almost 3 hours to prepare. See they really didn't want my company they just wanted the pie! I refused to make it because I could barely scrap together enough money for the restaurant. I work more hours than she does so I didn't have the time either. Oh I totally forgot to bring her a birthday card to the dinner. Honestly that totally slipped my mind. But then I realized not only was she expecting a pie and card from me but also a gift as the other people all gave cash. I finally realized the only time her or her brother associate with people is when they think there is a gift involved or a free meal. And then they want to stipulate what the meal will be or that the gift be cash or in the brothers case a video game. I guess there is some consolation knowing there are people in the world crazier than my family.