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ster
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12 Nov 2007, 8:46 pm

came back from my therapist appt tonite with this question on my mind: what do you do to relax ?
my therapist seems to think that i don't do enough for myself & spend far too many hours worrying about my kids and their progress or lack thereof...........she's right. i just don't know how to get out of this rut. nothing appeals to me. the mere thought of trying to do something for me is mind-boggling.
any ideas out there ?



siuan
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13 Nov 2007, 1:31 am

Relaxation is VITAL.

Here's my list of relaxations, which are time/weather dependent in some cases:

reading (nightly)
tae chi
yoga
practicing my singing bowl ( http://www.wehug.com/tibetan-meditation-supplies.html )
rollerblading
taking a walk
practicing yoga breathing (sometimes this is all I can fit into a day that is overcrowded)
watching funny videos on the net
blogging
taking a drive and listening to some music
taking a looooong shower with my favorite Bath & Body stuff

Heh, I feel calmer just thinking about that stuff long enough to write it down. Sometimes it seems daunting to actually find relaxation time. I find that making a list of things I could do and picking at least one each day really brings my stress levels to a manageable level.


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bobert
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13 Nov 2007, 8:52 am

Ster, for me, nothing beats a good book, especially a long one I can get lost in, good luck.



EvilTeach
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13 Nov 2007, 11:32 am

reading before bed.

runescape.com after work for about 1/2 hour



mom2bax
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15 Nov 2007, 1:30 am

it really depends on what you enjoy doing.
i like to bake to relax sometimes, but the dishes and sometimes the complexity of the recipe add extra stress. so maybe not depending on your tastes and preferences. i also enjoy reading magazines, and looking through recipe books, so i can plan my next baking escapade.
i have also tried crafts, knitting, crochet, cross stitch but never seem to know enough of what i'm doing and get frustrated.
but i know it works for other people, also scrapbooking or other crafts.
hope you find something.



thewllr
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15 Nov 2007, 4:29 am

My obsessions. Which is wllr.



ster
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15 Nov 2007, 7:19 am

i used to love arts and crafts .....so i decided to become an art teacher.....love my job~ don't want anything to do with arts and crafts by the time i get home...................what is wllr ?



CelticGoddess
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15 Nov 2007, 1:51 pm

Too bad you didn't live closer. We could not relax together. :wink:

I'm bad at relaxing. I'm on the go with the kids for 14 hours a day but when my body finally started to crash on me I realized I had to make it a priority. Soooo...my desperate attempt usually involves one if not all of these:

* A good book. I make sure it's not kid/therapy/school related
* Long bubble bath after the kids go to bed so I know I won't have a million knocks on the door
* Wine. I love my wine. There. I said it. :wink:
* Lighting a bunch of candles in my room and playing around on the computer or reading
* Crafts. Something that doesn't involve lugging out a bunch of gear. I love scrapbooking but I have no energy for it at the end of the day so I try to pick something like cross stitching.
* Call a friend to chat.
* Put on my pj's and just hang out in bed listening to music.

I have to have time to myself after the kids are in bed. When the house is quiet I relax. Ideally I would like to take an evening class on something I enjoy but DH isn't home on regular nights so it's not possible yet.



KimJ
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15 Nov 2007, 2:07 pm

Yeah, what is wllr? 8O :?:

Relaxation: after Pop goes to bed I
1)watch a movie, comedy is good, especially stand up
2)research stuff on the internet (wikipedia is my pilot)
3)chat with my husband

On my "night off" once a week I
1) eat at an expensive restaurant (wine and rich food)
1a)If you can't afford this, try comfort food, like Boston Market or something rich that you like but don't like to go with your family. This is important because after years of going out "as a family", you learn to eat fast and accept being irritated or distracted. But you can have your own "escape" everyonce in a while.

2)go shopping, usually window shopping

3)coffee shop-I do this during the days while Pop is at school and Husband is at work.



ster
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15 Nov 2007, 2:22 pm

kimJ~ you touched on something i need to remember.....that i can do things that i couldn't possibly do with the bunch.....like gaving a leisurely meal....or going someplace crowded~ like a concert.....these are definitely things i could put on a once every month kind of list.
definitely need to find something quiet to do out of the house.....hubby is good at trading off parental supervision with me when we're both at the house, but i think i really just need to get out of the house



KimJ
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15 Nov 2007, 2:45 pm

Quote:
hubby is good at trading off parental supervision with me when we're both at the house, but i think i really just need to get out of the house


that's a very time-eating way to feel like you're off the hook but it's not relaxing. It's eats both your time, he's taking care of the kids and you're being exposed to your kids. You might even jump in on an irritating situation. We fall into this trap all the time. My husband is now saying (on that day I can leave) "Get out of the house! Go away!" And then he can do the same at another time.
My Husband's problem is that for him, leaving the house is NOT relaxing. He hates to drive (it's work), he hates the mall (it's loud and crowded) and he hates to eat in restaurants alone. He prefers to be at home, with everything quiet. :P So, he has an even more complicated problem. He's a Cancer, so he loves to stay at home and paint or draw or read. But then there's Pop and me. . . .



ster
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15 Nov 2007, 5:38 pm

actually, when i say trading off parental supervision, it usually means that i get to go and "hibernate" in our bedroom.....it's on the 2nd floor, and typically ( unless things get rowdy) i can't hear anything from downstairs



PurpleSpider
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15 Nov 2007, 9:32 pm

ster wrote:
actually, when i say trading off parental supervision, it usually means that i get to go and "hibernate" in our bedroom.....it's on the 2nd floor, and typically ( unless things get rowdy) i can't hear anything from downstairs

Ahhh that sounds nice :) Our house is too small and I always hear all the fights so feel I need to come out and help.

I have trouble relaxing mainly because I just don't think of myself as being important. Though I have found that I need to relax or I get grumpy with the kids. What I do is chat on the computer :) play games, read a book and on the weekend I go out to the same shopping centre (that I am use to and hardly ever changes) that isn't very busy. I wander aimlessly around the shops. Then I can dream and think of other things as I walk and browse. Also have a coffee and cake.



tinky
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15 Nov 2007, 11:50 pm

soothing music
chilled decaffeinated earl grey tea
a good book
research things on the internet
watch a great comedic movie since laughing relaxes the muscles


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Smelena
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16 Nov 2007, 3:34 am

I go belly-dancing classes 1/week and Taekwondo 1-2/week. I practice these when I get stressed and it helps me relax.

I love gardening - we live on 2.5 acres and I have fruit trees and a vege garden. I have friends who live on 5 acres and I love helping my friend in her permaculture garden.

I read lots of books.

My husband and I 'tag team' - I will look after the kids for a couple of hours while he reads the newspaper, then we'll swap.

When things get too much for me, I go and spend a weekend at my parents' house (they live near the beach.)

I also like going for walks.

Ster, think back to what you liked to do before you had kids. Maybe try these out again.

It's so important to look after yourself.

I've been seeing a psychologist for a few months now. She made me write a list of dreams that I'd been putting off, then set out in steps how to reach these dreams.

I get homework every week eg Phone a friend I hadn't seen for a while and make a date to see them.

Everything seems like too much of an effort at first, but once I force myself to get out, I enjoy it.

Regards
Helen