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Joined: 12 Nov 2007
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 16

13 Nov 2007, 6:15 pm

Hi everyone, My daugter has her first apointment coming up to diagnose her as aspergers. What do I tell her as to why we're going to the doc? She understands thats she's different than the kids at school and I don't want to upset her. How do I tell her where we're going and why? What did you tell your kids? My daugter is 7 and quite bright.


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Joined: 23 Sep 2005
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Posts: 2,727
Location: new england

14 Nov 2007, 6:36 am

first of all, good luck with the drs appt....lots of paperwork and forms to be filled out~ not usually one appt, but a series of appts.
since your daughter sounds somewhat aware of her differences, i'd tell her the truth~ you're there so that the dr can help figure out why she's having problems in school. the dr will be able to help her find both what she's really good at, and what she needs help with............once the dr gives you answers, both you ( the family) and her teacher will be able to help her better.
when my 7 year old went, we told her that the dr would help us figure out why she had such trouble paying attention......i'd try to focus on a specific area in which your daughter is aware that she has a problem~ don't bring up areas that she's not aware exist.

Cure Neurotypicals Now!
Cure Neurotypicals Now!

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Joined: 1 Apr 2007
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,150
Location: Australia

14 Nov 2007, 8:14 pm

We told our 7 year old son (who was then 6) that we were going to a doctor who was going to test his special brain (at that stage our son was going through an obsession with neuroanatomy.

We told our 9 year old son (who was then 8) that we were going to get help for his anger - because he was having trouble with meltdowns. He was happy to go to the appointment because he wanted help for his anger (he was still anxious about seeing someone new, but wanted the help).

As Ster said, focus on a specific area your daughter has problems with.


Grouchy Old Man

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Joined: 31 Oct 2005
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17 Nov 2007, 1:10 am

If she's a really young kid (and she is) why tell her anything. Asperger's is a little complicated for a young child. Put it in a supportive way. We're going to a doctor to see if there is something we can do to make you a little more comfortable with things. It might work, it might not. But we love you and we're going to keep trying until we find something that makes things easier for you.

The Doctor might give you some medicine. If it makes you feel ok, fine. If it makes you sick, we'll stop it and look for something else (I don't believe in lying to a kid about medication).

That might seem like lousy advice, but I think if we'd leveled with my kid when he was young, we'd have had an easier time. We didn't explain Aspergers (because it was too complicated) and we have horror stories about meds, even though I'm AS, and I've had very good luck with meds.

But whatever you do, it should be matter of fact, and "this is an attempt to make you feel better." Not "this is an attempt to fix what's wrong with you." There's nothing wrong with her as a person. And if she understands that, she'll be a lot happier when she has to face all the crap that she has to face in school. Having an AS kid is not easy, but at no time should you make them feel bad about themselves. You have to choose your words very carefully.

If, by the way, she gets in trouble at school (and she will), you have to make her understand that it is the behavior that is not acceptable, not that there is something wrong with her. Hope that helps.

Good Luck.