"There's no point in being friends with a girl"

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Spot17
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16 Nov 2007, 12:54 pm

I've always heard (not that I agree with it) that single women are able to have platonic relationships with single men but that single men aren't capable of having platonic relationships with single women. I've seen for myself that this is BS but I think a lot of people still buy into it.

I think it really depends on the people in question. I get along with guys better than I do with women. Most of the guys I've been friends with have been married to a friend or related to a friend, but some have been just single guys I met.

I think it's actually in a single guy's best interest to have female friends; they might meet someone through their friend that they want to date.



Stimshieme
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17 Nov 2007, 6:14 am

I always get along with females...funny that...I think it has to do with emotions...



aeroz
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17 Nov 2007, 11:25 am

well this is my view.

If she is my friend, most likely I am interested in her. Looks matter little to me, so chances are high I am sexually attracted to her. If she is my friend then clearly I like her personality. So of course I am interested in her. Pretty much all my female friends know this, but aren't intested in me or aren't single so we keep things as friends. Do I want something more? Sure but that doesn't mean I'm not satisfied with friendship.

There are rare circumstances when there is an attraction, but we agree it just wouldn't work out.



Pugly
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17 Nov 2007, 11:52 am

aeroz wrote:
If she is my friend, most likely I am interested in her. Looks matter little to me, so chances are high I am sexually attracted to her. If she is my friend then clearly I like her personality. So of course I am interested in her. Pretty much all my female friends know this, but aren't intested in me or aren't single so we keep things as friends. Do I want something more? Sure but that doesn't mean I'm not satisfied with friendship.


Yeah that's basically me too.

I think it's just a factor that looks aren't important to me, as you mentioned.

It's strange but I'm physically attracted to most women. There is only a couple of things I outright reject. One, smell... doesn't even factor into how they look.

I consider a girl more sexually attractive the more I like her as a person... which I've found very strange.


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pbcoll
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17 Nov 2007, 11:58 am

Pugly wrote:
I consider a girl more sexually attractive the more I like her as a person... which I've found very strange.


I'm the same.


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0_equals_true
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17 Nov 2007, 12:07 pm

Spot17 wrote:
I've always heard (not that I agree with it) that single women are able to have platonic relationships with single men but that single men aren't capable of having platonic relationships with single women. I've seen for myself that this is BS but I think a lot of people still buy into it.

I think it really depends on the people in question. I get along with guys better than I do with women. Most of the guys I've been friends with have been married to a friend or related to a friend, but some have been just single guys I met.

I think it's actually in a single guy's best interest to have female friends; they might meet someone through their friend that they want to date.

I have to agree again about the absolutism and generalizing. Also it can also be down to how you attribute your thoughts and desires, they could be completely cursory. It is this bollocks that you have to attribute blame or guilt to these, or it is someone else's fault somehow. My mind can go through every possible scenario it does this involuntary most of this is not particularly interesting come to think of it. :lol: Even when I really like a girl I could just as well replicate that feeling over an inanimate object especially when my emotional blunting is bad. You can desire to desire even when you are having trouble with the desire itself. You can desire to have a good friendship with a female friend. Like my female friend, nothing would mess up what we have more than a relationship. Plus the crush on friend/associate thing is universal it is not particularly a male thing, not from the conversations I've had.



aeroz
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17 Nov 2007, 12:16 pm

Pugly wrote:
I consider a girl more sexually attractive the more I like her as a person... which I've found very strange.

I think thats just human nature. I like to reffer to it as frosting. There is a bare minimum which is itself very low and compared to personality and intellegence not a major factor. But if they have what you want, and in addition are increadily attractive, of course you desire them more. I mean, their hot. If they are hot enough it can overshadow their drawbacks, hopefully not to the point to make relationship destroying failings go unnoticed.



gwenevyn
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17 Nov 2007, 12:55 pm

aeroz wrote:
well this is my view.

If she is my friend, most likely I am interested in her. Looks matter little to me, so chances are high I am sexually attracted to her. If she is my friend then clearly I like her personality. So of course I am interested in her. Pretty much all my female friends know this, but aren't intested in me or aren't single so we keep things as friends. Do I want something more? Sure but that doesn't mean I'm not satisfied with friendship.

There are rare circumstances when there is an attraction, but we agree it just wouldn't work out.


Thanks for being honest.

In my experience, guys in general (there are rare exceptions) simply do not keep female friends in whom they would never potentially have an interest. Usually the girl is pretty, or at the very least appeals to his personal tastes. If there are reasons the guy is not with her romantically, this usually comes in the form of thoughts like "I would date her, but _____ (fill in the blank: "she's married", "she's psychotic", "she has a different religion", "I've got a girlfriend right now", "she's not quite my type but almost", "she's not interested in me", "she's out of my league") etc. And other than that factor, he thinks she's fabulous and he "would if he could."

I know a couple other posters have disagreed with this notion, but I've honestly only seen a handful of examples in my entire life that don't fit the pattern. I've seen a lot of guys who lie about their feelings though, and I've seen a lot of affairs start between people who were supposedly "just friends" then one day "oh, boo-hoo, my spouse doesn't understand me" and bam, they're in bed together.

So congrats to pbcoll for making friends with a girl who doesn't fit that pattern.


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LePetitPrince
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17 Nov 2007, 2:52 pm

Quote:
In my experience, guys in general (there are rare exceptions) simply do not keep female friends in whom they would never potentially have an interest.Usually the girl is pretty, or at the very least appeals to his personal tastes.


Quoted for truth.

That's why popular girls in schools/uni usually have many male 'friends' while overweighted/unattractive usually have very few to zero male friends.

I find that ugly but it's it's natural , that's why I don't make any friendship bond with any girl .



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17 Nov 2007, 4:45 pm

gwenevyn wrote:
Thanks for being honest.

In my experience, guys in general (there are rare exceptions) simply do not keep female friends in whom they would never potentially have an interest. Usually the girl is pretty, or at the very least appeals to his personal tastes. If there are reasons the guy is not with her romantically, this usually comes in the form of thoughts like "I would date her, but _____ (fill in the blank: "she's married", "she's psychotic", "she has a different religion", "I've got a girlfriend right now", "she's not quite my type but almost", "she's not interested in me", "she's out of my league") etc. And other than that factor, he thinks she's fabulous and he "would if he could."


True. Most of those are valid factors he must consider, but part of it is often fear of rejection.