Embarrassed or ashamed about having AS?

Page 1 of 2 [ 27 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

Ana54
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Dec 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,061

18 Nov 2007, 10:28 pm

I wanted to die a few times when my mom told people I had AS. She made it sound like I was really disabled, a poor pathetic victim but it's no one's fault but my head's... oh, God. And the books about itthat describe us that way too. They make us sound like we'll forever be pathetic and abnormal and an inconvenience and a burden, and always need help, and need to be taught stuff, as opposed to simply given an opportunity to explain why, being respected as a human being who had a right to speak for himself rather than an inferior that needs to be taught... I can't explain it. It's part of my resentment, part of the reason for my deep depression.



Last edited by Ana54 on 18 Nov 2007, 10:38 pm, edited 1 time in total.

IdahoRose
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Feb 2007
Age: 33
Gender: Female
Posts: 19,801
Location: The Gem State

18 Nov 2007, 10:32 pm

I used to be ashamed about having AS, but over time I've learned to embrace it.



Ana54
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Dec 2005
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,061

18 Nov 2007, 10:39 pm

There was a time when I would rather people think I was aloof, snobbish or an as*hole than know I have a mental disability (or a "physical problem in the head").



aeroz
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Nov 2007
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 500

18 Nov 2007, 10:46 pm

oh I tell people flat out now. I see no reason to hide it. Its also a great way to shut people up when they try to argue about my relationship skills.



lelia
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Apr 2007
Age: 71
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,897
Location: Vancouver not BC, Washington not DC

18 Nov 2007, 11:08 pm

Aggravation? Yeah. Shame? Never.
I had a mom the whole world is jealous they didn't have her. Whenever she found my behaviour hard to bear, she told herself that I likely needed to do what I was doing for survival. She liked me. She liked all her kids, and all her kids like each other. I wish everybody on Wrong Planet could have that. I have come to realize (it took only three or four decades) how very rare that is. The stories I hear on Wrong Planet make me weep. Why why why can't we humans accept each other's differences as interesting, not wrong?



jamesohgoodie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Nov 2007
Age: 39
Gender: Male
Posts: 565
Location: Chicago IL

18 Nov 2007, 11:50 pm

i don't tell people anymore that i'm a Hyperlexic. and if i do i make it very clear i don't need sympathy nor do i want it. my mother would tell my teachers occassionally and no matter how you dress it up it makes it seem like something's really wrong with you, when really i don't feel that way at all.

i compare it to your race or sexual orientation. you should be proud, but don't let it be your defining characteristic.



InSpades
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 15 Nov 2007
Age: 52
Gender: Male
Posts: 80

19 Nov 2007, 12:09 am

Shame. Yes. I don't tell people. Telling people comes off as wanting sympathy. Not only that, they treat you differently. People won't want to hang out with you either when you tell them. But when you are around people you know, they will be more understanding. But who cares?



Berserker
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 Oct 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,545

19 Nov 2007, 12:10 am

I don't let my AS get to me.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,504
Location: Stalag 13

19 Nov 2007, 1:02 am

I don't think about my AS. I just live my life from day to day.


_________________
Who wants to adopt a Sweet Pea?


Tempy
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 23 Jul 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 296

19 Nov 2007, 1:07 am

it gets to me when people think i use AS as an excuse not to try, instead of beleiving that i have been trying to do better.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,504
Location: Stalag 13

19 Nov 2007, 1:12 am

Tempy wrote:
it gets to me when people think i use AS as an excuse not to try, instead of beleiving that i have been trying to do better.


I know a woman who thinks that very thing about me. She works at my clubhouse. She says that I use my AS as an excuse, and I bloody well don't. If she could only know how my mind works. If she knew how hard I try, every day, than she wouldn't say that I'm using my AS as an excuse. I just want to rip her vocal chords out, every time that she says that I use it as an excuse. I might succeed at doing so, some day. :evil:


_________________
Who wants to adopt a Sweet Pea?


Rhyanna
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 17 Nov 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 20

19 Nov 2007, 1:12 am

I'm not ashamed at all about having AS. In fact, my recent diagnosis was a relief more then anything else. I knew that there was more going on then the Tourette's I was diagnosed with at age 11, and now that I know what it is, I can learn to make it work for me instead of against me.

Personally, I've moved past the point of shame or wishing to be normal. I've come to realize that AS and TS might also be responsible for positive things about me, not just my negative attributes. (being creative, intelligent, etc.)



Kalister1
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Sep 2007
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,443

19 Nov 2007, 1:51 am

who wants to adopt me?



caramateo
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 18 Sep 2007
Age: 49
Gender: Female
Posts: 282

19 Nov 2007, 2:30 am

Ana54 wrote:
I wanted to die a few times when my mom told people I had AS. She made it sound like I was really disabled, a poor pathetic victim but it's no one's fault but my head's... oh, God. And the books about itthat describe us that way too. They make us sound like we'll forever be pathetic and abnormal and an inconvenience and a burden, and always need help, and need to be taught stuff, as opposed to simply given an opportunity to explain why, being respected as a human being who had a right to speak for himself rather than an inferior that needs to be taught... I can't explain it. It's part of my resentment, part of the reason for my deep depression.



Don't worry! you can always change family.
I mean, when you become an adult go be with someone that understands you.



girl7000
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Mar 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 659
Location: Somewhere in the Atlantic

19 Nov 2007, 5:23 am

Before I was diagnosed and had even heard of AS, I did feel ashamed of the things I struggled with as I thought it was just my fault for being stupid - a veiw that my parents, teachers and peers only reinforced!

Once I found out about AS and got diagnosed, I stopped feeling ashamed right away because I realised that there was nothing 'wrong' with me - I had just been struggling to make my way in a world that I didn't understand with no help whatsoever.

As long as you do your best and try to always be a good person, that is what counts.

As for the books and articles that give a very negative view of AS, we should write our own literature to re-educate people on this subject.



mightyzebra
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Aug 2007
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,725
Location: Planet Earth.

19 Nov 2007, 5:27 am

Ana54 wrote:
I wanted to die a few times when my mom told people I had AS. She made it sound like I was really disabled, a poor pathetic victim but it's no one's fault but my head's... oh, God. And the books about itthat describe us that way too. They make us sound like we'll forever be pathetic and abnormal and an inconvenience and a burden, and always need help, and need to be taught stuff, as opposed to simply given an opportunity to explain why, being respected as a human being who had a right to speak for himself rather than an inferior that needs to be taught... I can't explain it. It's part of my resentment, part of the reason for my deep depression.


I'm SOOO sorry you felt like that. :( :(

Here is the face I want to give your mum when she's angry at your Asperger's. javascript:emoticon(':evil:')

And a few more times.

:evil: :evil: :evil: :evil:

If she says that AS is cool: :D :D :D :thumleft: :cheers:

Regards, mightyzebra

P.S I FORGOT ABOUT MYSELF!! :huh: :shrug: I felt weird about myself when I was first told - but I'm not ashamed. Sometimes it can be a wee bit annoying, but overrall I like having Asperger's Syndrome/High functioning autism! :)


_________________
"The natural world is the greatest source of excitement; the greatest source of visual beauty; the greatest source of intellectual interest. It is the greatest source of so much in life that makes life worth living." David Attenborough