My boss moving my computer every night? Need privacy!

Post Reply New Topic

This has been a horrible year at work. Over the summer I had this bizarre woman who’s got a “higher” job than me making my life miserable, claiming crazy stuff like that I wasn’t doing something she wanted (when she either never asked, or didn’t bother making sure I had heard her).
We also had to rearrange the desks in here-and that was for no reason. They claimed they needed more space for computers, when actually there’s all kinds of space left empty already. Tons of old systems that could have been taken out-many weren’t even running, and tons of empty space.

I really freaked out over that, as the new arrangement doesn’t give me much privacy. I used to sort of have an enclosure-partition wall on two sides, desks on the other two, with a shorter partition in front. The new situation is basically open on two sides.

Geez, I’m freaked out just talking about this…starting last Wednesday my computer started getting pushed back every night. I assumed the custodians were moving it, and I asked the second shift person about it, and he gave some weird evasive answer. A couple of days later I got this email from my boss:

“I have had a few complaints that people can't see if you are there are not when they go up to the window. You really should be a little more visible especially when there is not a student in there. I pushed your computer back to see if that would bring you more into view but noticed that you pushed it back forward. David said you were asking about it. Please try to be more visible when people come up to the window.”

This is...bizarre. First, I’m in direct view of the window (yay), and you can’t even SEE my computer from the window. Who are these people that are complaining? My first thought is they must have vision problems.

Okay...I actually use my computer to try to block me, by swinging out it’s door to at least sort of make it so people can’t see my face (or at least I can’t see them). When there’s a student there, they handle anyone coming to the window-that’s their only job. And otherwise I try to pay more attention to what’s going on out there.

So...okay, technically with the door swung open you probably can’t see my face, but I’m certainly still visible, and it’s not my computer that’s blocking me at all.

I moved my computer back myself a few days in a row, and moved it back into position when I got here. Last night I left it where it normally is, and sure enough, it was moved again when I got here this morning.

I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid with all this crap that’s been going on this last year I’m going to get fired. I don’t have a college degree because I can’t make it through at least some classes. I can’t do many types of work as I’m not super coordinated, and many types of things freak me out (and I certainly can't deal with jerks or...kind of the bullying mentality that a lot of people would have that work lower paid jobs). I’ve been able to do this current job (ideal would actually be doing computer repair-wish someone would let me do that ). But...I don’t know how to respond to this or what to do. Where I have to sit now already freaks me out, and I just don’t know that I’m willing to be completely unblocked. There’s no reason for it, and it just freaks me out having people stare at me.

If/when I get fired I’m not sure what I’m going to do.

No one will even understand anything I wrote here, but oh well

EDIT: I forgot to mention that I tend to get absorbed in what I'm doing, and don't necessarily notice someone right away. The way people act, this is apparently a "character defect" or something As though I'm not doing my job or not paying attention or something. Gee, I'm sorry I'm not scatterbrained like you

That email from my boss was actually sent last Thursday, but I kind of drafted a reply I think might be okay. If anyone feels like commenting on it be my guest

Hypothetical reply:
"I'm not really sure what this means. My computer doesn't block anything-you can't even see it from the window. I'm not sure how someone couldn't see me if I'm at my desk. I assume this must mean someone thinks I'm not there if I'm running a test? I'm not sure what to do about that, because as far as I know I can't really wait on those just because a student isn't there or is out at the desk near Phyllis.

Otherwise I try to keep an eye out for movement out there if there isn't a student. Not that I'm the most observant, but I think I normally notice someone there. "

I showed my mom all this and she said I just have to do whatever my boss says. She ran off and I've been sitting here crying for the last five minutes. I just can't deal with real life and it's not fair because I'm willing to work, and I try to be nice and I've always tried to do the right thing, but that's not good enough, no one will help me or let me have relatively small accommodations.

I've thought for years the best possible outcome is for me to kill myself once I'm fired. I don't *WANT* to kill myself. I'm not depressed. But the alternative of living homeless on the street or something is unacceptable. If I'm not good enough for them at this job, there's no way I'll be able to handle some customer service job that pays even less. I worked one summer years ago as a bus boy for a few weeks, and I'm not remotely coordinated to do something like that (not to mention dealing with the mess or the people).

The only thing I'm good at is fixing computer problems, and even then no one would hire me anywhere for a job I could do well, and there would probably be similar weird details that I couldn't do right. I think people even like me most of the time when I'm helping them. This whole thing just isn't fair. I wish there was help for people like me.

My mom doesn't get any of it at all. I've had horrible issues my whole life and she just seems oblivious.

Have you mentioned to you boss that you have Aspergers (I'm a newbie, so I don't know if you do, but I am assuming you do)? And if you have mentioned it to your boss, is there a way that you could talk to him in a "civilized manner" about the situation. I am sure that there is a way that you can come to a compromise that would allow you and your boss to be comfortable.

I had a former co-worker move my stuff over the course of a weekend and I had no say in the manner, even though it shouldn't have been done in the first place. Technically, they shouldn't be moving your things in the evening; it is technically your personal space and it shouldn't be violated as a result.

Thanks...no, I haven't mentioned anything to my boss. I don't have an official diagnosis yet, and am pursuing that (had testing a week ago, have to wait until next month for results, although the testing seems suspect to me-I'm not sure there are any real experts on this in adults around here). I kind of wanted an official diagnosis before talking about it, and even then I wasn't sure if I should, except at this point I doubt it can make anything WORSE.

I wasn't doing real great last night, and my mom called the person who originally suggest that I have AS (he's trained as a consoler, and has a grandson with it, who's father is a psychiatrist). He's supposedly wants to talk to my boss after Thanksgiving some time. My mom said he told her I could use someone "running interference for me" or something like that.

Once you have an official diagnosis, you should let your boss know; it makes things a lot more easier than if you don't and they can adjust things for you if they are able to.

They're not asking for special favours - just common courtesy - ie. having the computer left where it is. That's hardly too much to ask.

There are laws against firing someone based on disability, isn't there?

Also, jayne said "after you have an official diagnosis"

This is going to sound insensitive but...

You have to DEAL with it! You can't hide from it, nor get a diagnosis that says you can hide. Your boss moved your stuff because she knows that you are hiding, you even admitted in your post that you were. The good news is if you do what she wants, you will be able to keep your job.

DON'T SEND HER ANY EMAIL TRYING TO JUSTIFY YOUR BEHAVIOR OR RATIONALIZE ANYTHING. ANY EMAIL YOU SEND SHOULD SAY, "I DIDN'T REALIZE THAT I WAS SO HIDDEN FROM VIEW, THAT WAS NOT MY INTENTION AT ALL, THANKS FOR POINTING IT OUT. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF THERE IS ANYTHING ELSE I MAY HAVE UNINTENTIONALLY OVERLOOKED." IF YOU TRY TO JUSTIFY OR POLITELY DISAGREE, SHE WILL READ INTO IT THAT YOU ARE NOT RESPECTFULL OF WHAT SHE IS TRYING TO DO AND YOU DON'T REALLY WANT TO MAKE AN EFFORT TO GET ALONG. AND THEN YOU WILL LOSE YOUR JOB.

The world isn't going to change for you. A diagnosis is not an excuse to hide! How is a DX going to help you open up to the world? You are only going to use it as an excuse. The reason I rant is because sooo many people on this site think the world should change to accomodate each individual person's whims. That's not how it works. Believe me, I wish it did work that way. Your Mom is 100% right!! !! !! !

Are you working to overcome your problems, or are you looking for a diagnosis to flash as an excuse? We all have problems, all people do. But we have to work to overcome them. If not, then you must accept that you will be screwed for the rest of your life.

Here's the good news. You don't have to change who you are, just how you interact. You have to be more confident and outgoing. If you don't like you job, find another one. But in the mean time, give it a try. Have a positive attitude and see how you bosses view of you changes. She wil see that you are making an effort and that will go a long way in her book. You can do it! Anyone can improve their life by improving their attitude. Yeah it's hard ... just do it! BE POSITIVE! AT WORK, BE POSITIVE! It's the only way! You can do it. Why not try? What do you have to lose.

I used to have to share a cube with 4 people. I was paranoid about breathing too loud. I was always thinking they are watching me over my shoulder. It was either quit, get fired, or deal with it. I chose to deal with it. I just decided that the only option I had was to relax, take a deep breath and realize that everyone was not against me, or constantly watching me, etc.. You have to take a step back and realize things are the way they are and you have to adapt to survive....ADAPT! You are still you, you just need to empower yourself to endure the present situation. If you can, you will overcome your fear and it won't bother you anymore to sit where you do. Stick it out, relax, it will get easier and easier as time passes!! !

If what you've been doing hasn't been working for you, then it's time to try the opposite:
Be positive
Stop thinking doom is right around the corner
Say hi to people when you come in to work and bye when you leave
Be receptive to change
Think of one piece of smalltalk for each co-worker. Just a quick blurb. Start communicating.

You can do it!! !!

Stewie, that was HARSH!

I can totally sympathise with the problem - I "work" in a noisy, busy, completely open-plan office and it is just a complete nightmare.

I wish I could leave and get another job, but as Wolfpup says, it's not that simple.

And if it was that easy to "adapt", we would all just do that, wouldn't we?

It is obvious that Wolfpup's boss has no understanding whatever of the reasons for hiding. All I can suggest is to make ultra ultra sure that you ALWAYS notice the instant anyone is standing there.

Of course, this is going to make you less efficient at the tasks you tend to get completely absorbed in. So be it - then when she criticises this, say that you were trying so hard to deal with the people that you just got distracted. Then it is up to her to decide which is more important.

I don't mean to be a jerk. I'm just trying, in my own way, to encourage him to think about change. Sorry, I didn't mean to come off so rudely.

I don't know if it was extremely harsh, but it needed to be said.

Sadly, we cannot change the people we work with/for. It will not happen. We can only adapt ourselves to the world we work in; so it's either get a job as a solo forest ranger, or learn to please the boss (no matter how foolish or deranged they might be.)