Body language, eye contact and interesting things I've seen

Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 

Who_Am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,630
Location: My body is in Brisbane and my mind is in the gutter. :D

24 Nov 2007, 2:12 am

The first interesting thing I've noticed is that, to me, peoples body language and vocal tone is often incongruent with what they are saying. It is as though they are putting on a show and lying with their non-verbal communication. However, I've been watching some people speaking foreign languages, and this problem does not occur. This seems to suggest that it is the discrepancy between what is said (in words) and what is said (non-verbally) is what confuses me.

Another thing is my response to eye contact. I either see it as predatory (my brain interprets it as "this person wants to kill me and eat me") or as if the person is trying very hard to convince me of something. Either way, it usually does nothing to endear people to me.

Do other people experience this?


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


Wabbits
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 14 Nov 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 91
Location: Through a briar patch, under the front porch...

24 Nov 2007, 6:09 am

I hate making eye contact. I've learned to do it though, my job requires it, but I don't like it. It wears me out, so that when I'm not working I insist on being alone. People exhaust me...and I understand what you mean about different things you read in their eyes...I also despise being touched by strangers no matter how friendly or harmless the touch is, no matter even if it is meant in a friendly way, I always jump or flinch...just can't help it...I have an imaginary circle around my body and do not like for strangers to invade it, but can stand it from friends as long as I see they are going to touch me or hug me...don't like to be surprised or my space invaded even by people I know and like...I think aspies are very perceptive and can actually read a lot about the other person if they can make eye contact. I could never look at the driver of a car pulled up next to me at a light, but lately I've been forcing myself to do this and it was very difficult but it's getting easier...we need to be conscious of our surroundings and be wary and not look like victims, do you know what I mean?



Kurtz
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 6 Nov 2007
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 468
Location: End of the River

24 Nov 2007, 6:16 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
The first interesting thing I've noticed is that, to me, peoples body language and vocal tone is often incongruent with what they are saying. It is as though they are putting on a show and lying with their non-verbal communication. However, I've been watching some people speaking foreign languages, and this problem does not occur. This seems to suggest that it is the discrepancy between what is said (in words) and what is said (non-verbally) is what confuses me.


Certainly! You are detecting in others what NTs detect in us, only we aren't lying when our movements don't match up.

Is this only with people YOU are interacting with or are you watching how third parties interact? People sometimes talk to me like I'm retarded, like they can fool me easily. What I'm asking, I think, is if they treat you differently than others?

Quote:
Another thing is my response to eye contact. I either see it as predatory (my brain interprets it as "this person wants to kill me and eat me") or as if the person is trying very hard to convince me of something. Either way, it usually does nothing to endear people to me.


I'm used to the "don't eat me" look. 8O

Predators pick us out, male and female. You are right to worry. There are only two states where I can act NT, and only for a short time, as it's very tiring: when I'm "On a Mission", like being in front of a crowd, acting on someone else's behalf, "professional" type settings, and what I call "Tapping the Flow", a rare thing I get when I'm the absolute master without even trying, like some social situations, dealing with cops, and super-intense confrontations.

The rest of the time I'm a halfwit superspaz.


_________________
A son of fire should be forced to bow to a son of clay?


Who_Am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Aug 2005
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,630
Location: My body is in Brisbane and my mind is in the gutter. :D

24 Nov 2007, 6:33 am

[quote= "Kurtz"]
Is this only with people YOU are interacting with or are you watching how third parties interact? People sometimes talk to me like I'm retarded, like they can fool me easily. What I'm asking, I think, is if they treat you differently than others? [/quote]

It happens both with my interactions and with interactions that I observe.

Quote:
Certainly! You are detecting in others what NTs detect in us, only we aren't lying when our movements don't match up.


Yes. I'm not sure that they know that they're lying, though.

Quote:
Predators pick us out, male and female. You are right to worry. There are only two states where I can act NT, and only for a short time, as it's very tiring: when I'm "On a Mission", like being in front of a crowd, acting on someone else's behalf, "professional" type settings, and what I call "Tapping the Flow", a rare thing I get when I'm the absolute master without even trying, like some social situations, dealing with cops, and super-intense confrontations.

I can do the "On a mission" and "professional" type settings. I rarely tap the flow.
I can do better at my uni, as everyone there is a music student and we can talk about what we play and our studies.

[quote= "Wabbits"]
I also despise being touched by strangers no matter how friendly or harmless the touch is, no matter even if it is meant in a friendly way, I always jump or flinch...just can't help it...[/quote]
Oh God, me too. I was flinching just reading that


_________________
Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


MrMark
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jul 2006
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,918
Location: Tallahassee, FL

24 Nov 2007, 10:40 am

I can't navigate a mall on the weekend because people don't comunicate their intentions through body language. I think I only notice this because I'm thinking about it. Yet they don't think about it and seem to have no difficulty navigating past one another. :?


_________________
"The cordial quality of pear or plum
Rises as gladly in the single tree
As in the whole orchards resonant with bees."
- Emerson


scumsuckingdouchebag
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Nov 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 521

24 Nov 2007, 11:43 am

Quote:
People sometimes talk to me like I'm retarded, like they can fool me easily.


I know this all too well.



Irulan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 May 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,663
Location: Poland

24 Nov 2007, 3:49 pm

It wasn't until few years ago when I understood that people REALLY can express feelings different than simply anger, happiness or sadness in a nonverbal way - even though I had read many times in various womanish magazines belonging to my mother that posture of body and its movements are used to communication, I never REALLY believed in this or even pondered this concept too much.