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CaptainWill
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28 Nov 2007, 10:55 am

I was just interested in finding out if people with AS have different cleanliness preferences to other people, or rather particular and possibly illogical habits relating to it?

I keep myself very clean indeed, and have high standards of personal hygiene. I can't stand going without a shower for a day, and I feel like my skin and hair are literally crawling with particles of dirt and grease if I don't - it's a very unpleasant sensation and I can't bear to be around other people if I don't think I'm clean.

However, I have a low standard of cleanliness when it comes to my surroundings. I don't care if the bathroom is a bit dirty so long as the toilet seat is clean and there are no obvious stains of bodily fluids anywhere else. I do care if food preparation surfaces are obviously dirty but I don't see the point in making them shine as they'll only get dirty again. The same goes for my personal space - I'm not bothered if it's a bit of a mess and I'll only clean it up if it gets to the point where looking at it gets me down. I feel like I care much more about keeping myself clean than my immediate environment, but this seems a bit illogical, because if my environment is dirty then some of it might rub off (literally) on me.

Is anybody else like this?



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28 Nov 2007, 11:35 am

I wash my hands many times throughout the day (every time I touch anything "dirty", which in my house is whenever I touch anything!)

I always wash them before eating, and always yell at my friend whenever he touches food: "Did you wash your hands?" because if my house is dirty, his flat is competely filthy! When I go in there my flesh just crawls all the time.

I suppose basically I am tolerant of my own mess, but can't stand other people's because I don't know where it's come from.



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28 Nov 2007, 11:45 am

My apartment is real messy - Genius at Work?


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richardbenson
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28 Nov 2007, 11:48 am

i seem to teeter totter on cleanliness. im up and down all over the place~!



CeriseLy
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28 Nov 2007, 11:52 am

Well, early on I assessed the family dynamic and decided that I would never get my driver's license until I moved away from my family because I would be targeted but my brother would not be. I steadfastly refused to get my license when my mother wouldn't even get me corrective glasses for years but urged me to get my license so I could run errands. I felt that would be doorway to another layer of very subtle unwelcome behavior. I used to take a shower in the morning and another in the evening but it got to the point that my mother would blame cleanliness conditions on me even though my brother was blowing his nose in the shower and REFUSED to stop and he has never cleaned the bathroom so I went on hiatus. Now I want to take a shower more often than I actually do but when I do I need enough time alone preferably when everyone is asleep and I have to do a vinegar wipedown, then shower, then baking soda and vinegar the tub and vinegar wipedown the shower curtain. So in terms of liking cleanliness of myself and my surroundings, I do like that but I don't feel that I have time alone that I need then I will resist and endure in the conditions of a foxhole because I absolutely dislike being in the presence of a particular other and I frankly don't think I can wear my headphones outside of my room. I may be Aspie but even I know that's just going to give ammo also even if you can't understand a word out of her mouth (delightful), you would still have to look at her and I'll pass on that because I know my mother and I know what she gets off on her kids. Even an expression or a condition is enough dew for her to lick off. Being in her presence gives her something and while I am unemotional about not having anything to do with her, no need to put scent in the water.

The bathroom condition was just an excuse to let her b***h voice out disguised. Before we got a dishwasher, my mother would harangue me about (her) dishes being in the sink for more than an hour and she was generating dishes and utensils constantly throughout the day. She would ask, "How hard is it to clean up after yourself?" She isn't insane just rotten - her peanut shells have been on the coffee table for more than 17 hours and NOBODY else in this house has ever done that. She leaves dinner leftovers half covered which is worse than uncovered and hours later, I find them and have to run the dishwasher for their dishes not mine and deal with leftovers. This is not hard work for me at all but it is a signal of hypocrisy and strange need to scapegoat. It's very strange but uninteresting. She claims to be so clean especially compared to me but she only cleared the dinner table for Thanksgiving and I am the one doing vinegar wipedowns of the kitchen floor. My brother had two cardboard boxes in his room for more than a month yet in their not as stupid as they act minds, they aren't embarassed to propagate that I am such a slob. I just don't want to have anything to do with them and create my own oasis and develop my own cleanliness regimen. She leaves mise en place ingredients out for DAYS like things soaking in water when the water gets cloudy and she doesn't do anything about it and aromatics that exude their odor before dehydrating. She buys buttery baked goods and leave them not in a covered container but in their original plastic bags unclosed. Why haven't Mickey and Minnie had some mini cupcakes and buns yet? Those peanut shells have me really worried. I usually clean them up but last night I slept through the night so they were still there this morning.

So the answer to your question is that I can endure myself and my surroundings even if they are not what I want. Also I find what I want to be so specific that I tend to immobilize if I can't get it done without fear of interruption.



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28 Nov 2007, 12:02 pm

I don't mind living in filth. My house is starting to look like the home of a compulsive collector, with little pathways through the clutter in each room. That could be because I live with a compulsive collector. :wink:

Sometimes I look at the mess and it gives me anxiety. Sometimes I want to spend a whole day cleaning. Sometimes I clean as a way to procrastinate. Lately, I've given up cleaning because we're moving to a bigger place next summer, so what's the point?

All I do is pick up the dog hair, make the bed, and sweep the leaves off the porch.



ouinon
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28 Nov 2007, 12:16 pm

generally shower at least once every three days, and brush teeth every day. Change clothes when seem...um...to need it, sooner rather than later cos i'm paranoid about ..um.. smells, and i use deodorant. House is different. Cleaning almost never done; i read recently that Quentin Crisp doesn't/didn't do any cleaning because he said that after four years it doesn't get any dirtier!! :lol:
I sometimes clear table and wash up. I sometimes put away; I tidy stuff away; i cook a bit; i do two loads of machine wash every two weeks or so. When the "bucket" is overflowing.Luckily it's not a big bucket!! :lol:
When shared a house with 5 other women all almost equally out of their trees as me, the three of us that used the sitting room much had fun watching the bin overflow and gradually take over a large corner of the sitting room, and we ( two of us anyway!!) were mildly fascinated by the progress mould made in pans of leftover food in the kitchen.
However the other three did not greatly appreciate any of this and there would be wars. They would make LOTS of noise, playing their favourite tracks at top decibel on the first floor, which would drive us mad. And make us to clean up to have some peace.
Since becoming a mother i've had to restrain my fascination for watching chaos grow. On the other hand my sons papa seems to need to do the washing up before me so it's him that does it in 75% of cases. But he's useless at clothes washing, tidying, and financial papers ( i saved him from tax claim hell, and he's grateful!!)

:? When i live entirely alone i am clean and tidy. The presence of other people seems already so much like mess in my environment that there's no point keeping things really sorted.
Hmm. Mess and cleanliness is a big subject. :lol:

8)



Last edited by ouinon on 28 Nov 2007, 1:12 pm, edited 6 times in total.

Myrkabah
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28 Nov 2007, 12:21 pm

CaptainWill wrote:
I was just interested in finding out if people with AS have different cleanliness preferences to other people, or rather particular and possibly illogical habits relating to it?

I keep myself very clean indeed, and have high standards of personal hygiene. I can't stand going without a shower for a day, and I feel like my skin and hair are literally crawling with particles of dirt and grease if I don't - it's a very unpleasant sensation and I can't bear to be around other people if I don't think I'm clean.

However, I have a low standard of cleanliness when it comes to my surroundings. I don't care if the bathroom is a bit dirty so long as the toilet seat is clean and there are no obvious stains of bodily fluids anywhere else. I do care if food preparation surfaces are obviously dirty but I don't see the point in making them shine as they'll only get dirty again. The same goes for my personal space - I'm not bothered if it's a bit of a mess and I'll only clean it up if it gets to the point where looking at it gets me down. I feel like I care much more about keeping myself clean than my immediate environment, but this seems a bit illogical, because if my environment is dirty then some of it might rub off (literally) on me.

Is anybody else like this?


I'm almost exactly like this. It's like I tune out the mess around me unless it's actually physically getting in my way.



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28 Nov 2007, 1:05 pm

I seriously don't mean to be a slob....but somehow it seems beyond my control....
I am the only one in my household who cares about cleaning at all...by household, I mean the venue I help run...

Anywhoo...the kitchen is always a mess there are always clothes on the floor.....things build up in piles around the house...it is just too much for me and my short attention span and executive dysfunction to handle alone...but I am the only one there to do it.

I spend alot of time nervously pacing around and cleaning, but I can't quite get past the "shabby" phase...and the bedroom has, is and always will be a wreck..even if I spend hours attempting to work on it.

Part of it has to do with the fact that we are packrats.

yeowch...my head hurts just thinking about it...we are having to move soon...luckily, we are supposed to hire some people to help, which will be slightly excruciating...but I guess helpful...



CeriseLy
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28 Nov 2007, 1:30 pm

before I left home for the first time, I told my mother that whatever she was going to do to my bed linens, I did not want chintz, I wanted macho stripes. I got ralph lauren cabbage roses and I had to stick with those things for years.

I have a very specific ideas of how I want things but I won't bore this board with them but I can't negotiate over these things in my current living situation.
I may never be as clever and genuinely tidy as people with superior housekeeping natures like Martha but I don't think squalor is a good thing.

I just remember how I used to be and how I began to want things a certain way and this current situation is untenable in a calm way because I have thrown away all pretense of emotional investment although I believe I am also losing hard worked comprehension of NTs as a side effect. I don't regret the process of being messy in the last few years I have gone through in the face of terrible behavior because it was certainly different. I'm not sure if I learned anything but I gained perspective but NO, I would not tolerate another person's mess. I don't really now, I just don't curse people slyly within their earshot. I just don't feel like doing that but I can't even muster contempt.

So I got my spray bottles today. I filled them with vinegar right away and I am going to wash my bed linens in vinegar while I wipe down the bathroom and take a shower.

Bye, bye.



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28 Nov 2007, 1:40 pm

I'm obsessed with random standards of cleanliness. I'm not over concerned with personal hygiene (I mean, I'm acceptable, I shower and wash my clothes and everything lol), but like, if someone licks their fingers in front of me, especially when they put their hand back into a bag of chips - I absolutely freak out. Spit kind of bothers me. I always use my teeth when using a spoon, not my lips, because I don't like feeling like I'm getting saliva on the spoon - it makes no sense. If someone's shower is not totally clean, I also freak out - I can't take baths because seeing anything in the water is like horrifying for me. I can't swim in my above ground pool because I know there are bugs at the bottom. I don't drink juice or eat canned soup - anything that sits in juice creep me out. I just have random cleanliness things like that.



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28 Nov 2007, 1:47 pm

I need my environment to be ordered. Chaos makes my mind feel the exact same way. It's almost physically uncomfortable when things are too much of a mess. As for bodily cleanliness, I shower every other day - more often if I exercise or if it's summer. Face has to be washed daily or I feel filthy.


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richardbenson
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28 Nov 2007, 1:48 pm

CeriseLy wrote:
before I left home for the first time, I told my mother that whatever she was going to do to my bed linens, I did not want chintz, I wanted macho stripes. I got ralph lauren cabbage roses and I had to stick with those things for years.
oh my goodness! Lol. i have stripes as my bed sheets. its the only way i sleep



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28 Nov 2007, 1:49 pm

My personal hygiene is rather hit and miss. I brush my teeth at least three times a day and wash my hands often, but I don't shower or change my clothes for days.

As for cleanliness around the house, well I am obsessive about keeping everything ultra-organized and its place. The slightest hint of clutter puts me into cleaning stim mode.


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28 Nov 2007, 2:02 pm

the aspies who live here are obsessed with cleaning themselves,but it seems to be because of routine.
Am not aspie [autie],and have a major sensory problem with water running on skin so use baby wipes instead,but wouldn't ever think of doing this unless was told to,am was very unaware of people around,growing up,and still am to an extent,so don't have the same expectancies others have.
Am tend to have a lot of chewing/eating habits,like grass,plastic etc when in tactile seeking mode and am always stopped from doing this because people say it's bad for health/hygeine,but what people say doesn't help.


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28 Nov 2007, 4:24 pm

I sometimes can't be bothered to shower when I get up in the morning but I always have a shower after a workout at the gym (or the driver would throw me off the bus). Teeth get cleaned once a day.

As for keeping the apartment clean, forgetaboutit. I'm living with a slob, I just accept it and I still love her. She bought a new pair of boots four or five months ago and the box is still in the hallway after she tried them on. Piles of paper, clothes on every chair, it's like living with a teenager.

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