Who DOESN'T want a partner?
I have decided that I don't want to get married when I'm older, or even have a girlfriend. I am only a teen in this sense but I'm already thinking about my independent life in years to come. I have decided that I don't want a partner because it would be too much of a compromise of my free time, money, interests and well-being. It would be too stressful raising a family of neurotypicals.
When I discuss this with my parents, they rather annoyingly say that I can be open-minded and things may change. However, I am certain that I don't want a girlfriend AT ALL. My parents say that I might meet a nice girl, but I just don't want to. That's that. I'd just like to live by myself, but I sometimes feel that my parents (and by brother to an extent) are trying to convert me to this stereotypical nucleated family lifetime. I don't want that.
I need some reassurance. What is it like being single and choosing to do so? Is it peaceful? Am I making a perfectly valid choice? I would prefer so, because I don't want to change my attitudes because they're not 'normal'.
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If the phrase "you are what you eat" is correct, technically we must all be cannibals.
Yes.
You have to do what makes you happy in life. As long as you aren't hurting anyone, then it is your decision and your decision ONLY.
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Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day. But set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.
-Terry Pratchett, Jingo - Discworld
I think you are making a valid choice if it is based on who you are and what you want.
When I was single by choice, I found it very peaceful, especially when I lived alone with only my dog, a couple of plants, and a radio. I really enjoyed having total silence whenever I wanted it and getting to do whatever I wanted to without criticism.
I think you are making a valid choice if it is based on who you are and what you want.
When I was single by choice, I found it very peaceful, especially when I lived alone with only my dog, a couple of plants, and a radio. I really enjoyed having total silence whenever I wanted it and getting to do whatever I wanted to without criticism.
That's one thing I'm really looking forward to!
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If the phrase "you are what you eat" is correct, technically we must all be cannibals.
duncansbass
Supporting Member
Joined: 25 Nov 2007
Age: 55
Gender: Male
Posts: 421
Location: Flatting thirds, fifths, and sevenths for over 20 years
Absolutely valid choice. I live with my teen daughter, but have no partner, don't date, and don't miss it. I would keep an open mind, because down the road you may change your mind, but otherwise being single is a very valid choice. There is no reason to change your mind unless you find that being single is no longer what YOU want for YOUR own reasons.
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Please Don't Tap On The Glass!!
When I discuss this with my parents, they rather annoyingly say that I can be open-minded and things may change. However, I am certain that I don't want a girlfriend AT ALL. My parents say that I might meet a nice girl, but I just don't want to. That's that. I'd just like to live by myself, but I sometimes feel that my parents (and by brother to an extent) are trying to convert me to this stereotypical nucleated family lifetime. I don't want that.
I need some reassurance. What is it like being single and choosing to do so? Is it peaceful? Am I making a perfectly valid choice? I would prefer so, because I don't want to change my attitudes because they're not 'normal'.
I remember I used to feel a lot like this - I have since modified but not totally changed my opinions. I have always felt that there's something deeply f****d up about wanting to have a girlfriend/boyfriend, marry them, have children - just for the sake of it. When I think of wanting to do the first two things, (no maternal instincts yet!), there is always a specific person that I particularly want to be with. Only meeting someone special to me can make me want to have a relationship - wanting one just for the sake of being in a relationship is a bit weird.
Your choice is a perfectly valid one if it makes you happy - its hardly anyone else's business. I would suggest that you might feel very lonely, but maybe you feel that would be preferable to the stress of a relationship.
I agree with the above. If you are convinced that this is best for you, then it most probably is. Right now I'm single too, and have been for almost three years, and it feels great. I've been in a relationship that was basically miserable, I'm glad that's all past now and I'm perfectly happy being single again. I've decided that I will stay single all my life unless I should fall deeply in love with someone and I'm absolutely convinced that she's the one I want to be with (assuming that it's mutual). But if that doesn't happen, it wouldn't worry me at all.
So yeah, imo definitely a valid choice.
That ^ is how I feel about relationships as well. It's always about a specific person; otherwise what's the point? So OP, I think your choice makes perfect sense, and just because it's not typical doesn't mean it's wrong.
You're making a valid choice. Its your life and you can do what ever you want with it.
In general the reply you'll get when you tell someone "I don't want kids, a wife, or a family. I'm satisfied with just my friends/family or being by myself" is "You say that NOW"
I'm not sure why but some people just won't accept such an answer. They find it odd. I've acutally had a few people I used to goto school with become disgusted with me when I'd tell them this.
I myself decided a long time ago that I don't want to get married or have children. Marriage just seems like it would tie me down and truth be told I'd rather avoid the heartbreak, the court sessions over property, or god knows what else if things go sour. I don't want children because I don't think I'd make a good father.
I don't mean that negatively I mean that I really don't think I'm up to such a challenge. You have to be dead certain on such a life changing decision and I've decided that I just won't be able to handle it. Its the logical choice right? If you can't raise them right then simply don't have any.
As far as the GF thing goes I'd like to experiance that kind of closeness but, if it never happens I'm ok with that. Que sera sera, such is life.
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"Sore ga Tengen Toppa! Sore ga Gurren Lagann!
Ore no Drill wa ten no Tsukuru Drill da!" Captain Simon GARlock
Your parents aren't trying to convert you to another view. They accept your decision, they're just informing you that when you get older, you may start liking girls, and that you may want a girlfriend. Believe me, if you're still a teen (I am too) things are different now then when your older. When you get older, you may start seeing friends of yours become parents and think that it just might be for you. Or you might just stay single and be fine with it. Your parents are just telling you that you might change your mind later, and not to be too stubborn, that's all. You dont need to have or want a girlfriend if you don't want to.
Brian003
Velociraptor
Joined: 10 Sep 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 402
Location: University of Michigan Ann Arbor
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