How many aspies do you know who learned to act like NTs?

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Greentea
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07 Dec 2007, 2:47 pm

I've made the biggest efforts I could to act NT and failed miserably each time. I've realized there's no point in me trying anymore. Lucky you who have succeeded.


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Griff
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07 Dec 2007, 3:53 pm

LeKiwi wrote:
Hahahaha. I guess because it's still quite misunderstood; most people seem to think that AS/autism means sitting in the corner rocking and moaning and ignoring everyone with no eye contact. Which I obviously don't do (ok, so maybe I rock, but not obviously...) and there's still a lot of stigma attached to it. So I don't really want people pre-judging me on that basis before they know me properly.
In more enlightened circles, it's considered one of the classier forms of insanity. :D



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07 Dec 2007, 4:54 pm

Mw99 wrote:
I read somewhere that with behavioral therapy, aspies of above-average intelligence could easily learn to communicate and socialize the way neurotypical persons do.

Do you personally know of any success stories?

I don't.


To a certain extent I'd say that's true. I don't have behavioral therapy, but I can intergrate with society pretty well. Still, I have a lot to learn, and most of the time I just don't care if people think I'm weird so I act how I feel like acting.

I believe, even with training, social relationships are too intricate to ever truly master on a neurotypical level. Not to say you can't get really good.



CockneyRebel
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07 Dec 2007, 4:59 pm

I'm not interested.


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07 Dec 2007, 5:17 pm

Based on 61 years, we are not a recent invention, not fitting in to the NT world worked best.

We did not have words for it, and the current words are a pack of NT lies.

Who would want to be NT herd?

Tech work was good, I can repair your camera, it will cost $235, accept it or leave.

Being the Boss works, I do not socialise, you will never understand me, and if you do not like it, find another job. If you think you should tell me how wrong I am, you are fired, now get back to work.

Many got advanced degrees, and in six years at the university, never spoke to anyone.

Like Los Alamos, when the FBI did background checks, they found no friends, neighbors who knew nothing of the people who lived next door for ten years, teachers who vaugely remember the quite kid. They did not have ex-girlfriends. Being FBI, they did not check the Hobby Store, where they were well known. And of course the FBI thought Book Store, was a place to store books.

We fit where they had no other choice. One guy does microscope cleaning, repair, calibration within 500 miles, and you have to deliver and pick up, he never leaves his Shop/Home.

Recently, Computer Problems? Disconnect everything, bring it to the shop, $100, then comes parts and labor. Or I will come to your house, fix it in place, upgrade with used ebay parts, and often made $400 an hour. I also taught people how to avoid problems. Would tell them they needed a new Dell, and their neighbors called me.

No one cared about my lack of eye contact, or that I spoke like a computer.

Skilled trades which there are no schools for, where the self educating can become the source. Lots of machine shops, that are machine operators. Want a mold designed and manufactured? They cannot, that takes Huge Corp, Engineers, Sales, Manufacturing, and none of them understand each other. Or one Aspie, who does it all, much better, at a lower price. He get business from 1000 miles away, and always has a backlog of work. Mine charges $150 an hour.

Humans have limits, just because they have a Degree does not mean they understand the field.

Self motivated, self employed, workers have the superior position. The degreed do not keep up with developments in the field, or the speculation found in Science Fiction. Their education has a short half life, they at best learned about the field from five year old books, most likely ten, then decay sets in.

At 19, Bill Gates would have been fired from McDonald's, if he could have gotten a job in the first place.

Becoming an NT? Passing for shallow and dumb?

We have a better deal.



Greentea
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07 Dec 2007, 5:26 pm

But what about those like me, Inventor, who don't have skills for any kind of freelance job that earns a living?


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Plutonian_Persona
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07 Dec 2007, 5:29 pm

One can try to pass for a NT and even have a high degree of success, however there will be moments whether conscious or unconscious when your Aspie tendencies will shine through and the NT(s) won't have a clue how to handle the situation.


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LeKiwi
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07 Dec 2007, 6:53 pm

Plutonian_Persona wrote:
One can try to pass for a NT and even have a high degree of success, however there will be moments whether conscious or unconscious when your Aspie tendencies will shine through and the NT(s) won't have a clue how to handle the situation.


Hahahaha ohhhhh yes.

I did that just before actually... I was at a gig wearing my super-duper earplugs (horrible venue with so much noise and nasty frequencies, ugh, it hurts) and basically stood in the corner kinda rocking (in time to the music haha) and spacing out a bit, totally ignoring anyone who tried to talk to me because I couldn't hear them and couldn't be bothered taking the earplugs out and putting them back in all the time... didn't realise how awkward I must have looked until a couple of my friends came to make sure I wasn't upset or stoned!! Then I felt all awkward and AS again for the rest of the night. Weird.



LeKiwi
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07 Dec 2007, 6:55 pm

Griff wrote:
LeKiwi wrote:
Hahahaha. I guess because it's still quite misunderstood; most people seem to think that AS/autism means sitting in the corner rocking and moaning and ignoring everyone with no eye contact. Which I obviously don't do (ok, so maybe I rock, but not obviously...) and there's still a lot of stigma attached to it. So I don't really want people pre-judging me on that basis before they know me properly.
In more enlightened circles, it's considered one of the classier forms of insanity. :D


Hahaha, I'd agree with that!! :D

In my circle, it's called 'asbestos' because nobody remembers the word. I think that says it all, haha. Hence why only one or two of them know I 'have it'. ;)



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07 Dec 2007, 6:59 pm

LeKiwi wrote:
Plutonian_Persona wrote:
One can try to pass for a NT and even have a high degree of success, however there will be moments whether conscious or unconscious when your Aspie tendencies will shine through and the NT(s) won't have a clue how to handle the situation.


Hahahaha ohhhhh yes.

I did that just before actually... I was at a gig wearing my super-duper earplugs (horrible venue with so much noise and nasty frequencies, ugh, it hurts) and basically stood in the corner kinda rocking (in time to the music haha) and spacing out a bit, totally ignoring anyone who tried to talk to me because I couldn't hear them and couldn't be bothered taking the earplugs out and putting them back in all the time... didn't realise how awkward I must have looked until a couple of my friends came to make sure I wasn't upset or stoned!! Then I felt all awkward and AS again for the rest of the night. Weird.


:lol: Yup, I've had this happen more times than I can count, especially when I am out in public acting like a little kid (and I'm 28 years old too). :lol:

NT: "Are you alright, man?"
Me: "Yeah, I'm just fine."
NT: "You're not drunk or stoned or anything?"
Me: "Nope, just being my normal self"
NT: "Oh, O.K." (with a look of disbelief on their face...one of the faces that I know how to read instantly).


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LeKiwi
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07 Dec 2007, 7:03 pm

Plutonian_Persona wrote:
LeKiwi wrote:
Plutonian_Persona wrote:
One can try to pass for a NT and even have a high degree of success, however there will be moments whether conscious or unconscious when your Aspie tendencies will shine through and the NT(s) won't have a clue how to handle the situation.


Hahahaha ohhhhh yes.

I did that just before actually... I was at a gig wearing my super-duper earplugs (horrible venue with so much noise and nasty frequencies, ugh, it hurts) and basically stood in the corner kinda rocking (in time to the music haha) and spacing out a bit, totally ignoring anyone who tried to talk to me because I couldn't hear them and couldn't be bothered taking the earplugs out and putting them back in all the time... didn't realise how awkward I must have looked until a couple of my friends came to make sure I wasn't upset or stoned!! Then I felt all awkward and AS again for the rest of the night. Weird.


:lol: Yup, I've had this happen more times than I can count, especially when I am out in public acting like a little kid (and I'm 28 years old too). :lol:

NT: "Are you alright, man?"
Me: "Yeah, I'm just fine."
NT: "You're not drunk or stoned or anything?"
Me: "Nope, just being my normal self"
NT: "Oh, O.K." (with a look of disbelief on their face...one of the faces that I know how to read instantly).


:lol: That's such a familiar conversation :D


"I'm fine! Really! No, I'm not upset... No! I'm not wasted, since when did I smoke weed?! I'm fine! Honestly! You're paranoid!"

I'm just lucky in that my social life revolves almost entirely around music and gigs and bands and musicians, it means that when I'm at a gig and having an aspie moment I have the excuse of 'getting into the music too much' or something, hahaha.



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07 Dec 2007, 7:22 pm

Greentea wrote:
But what about those like me, Inventor, who don't have skills for any kind of freelance job that earns a living?


This is where I fit in... video gaming and photoshopping pictures don't earn money (except for beta testing, but that is not a good job anyway, as they make you test all these horrible games)



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07 Dec 2007, 8:10 pm

Brian003 wrote:
The world revolves around stereotypes; so in reality acting like a "Neurotypical" isn't really as hard as it may seem.

Whenever people look at you or meet you for the first time: They will stereotype you.

There is no way in heck they could know that you have AS unless you totally 50% or higher go against the stereotype that they perceive of you.

So if you wanted to act "Neurotypical" all you would have to do is to play in the stereotype of what you look like.

This really isn't that hard and if you have a problem with then you would probably pick a stereotype that is considered "lower" on the social scale.

But this goes against the reason why you are trying to fit in in the 1st place? Why exactly are you trying to fit in Mw99?


Brian, I'm impressed by your observation. You are right. If I played the stereotype of what I look like, I'd probably be less conspicuous and might even pass as "normal." Example: a lot of people I have met seemed surprised when they learned about my academic background.

But to answer your question, I want to fit in because I don't want to stand out from the crowd for being weird. More than that, I want choice when it comes to jobs and women ;).



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07 Dec 2007, 10:46 pm

as long as I'm by myself, I can be 'NT' for as long as I want...;)

I've been fixing computer equipment for 20 years, and have a small hamper of shopworn phrases and lowbrow humor, that serves me instead of 'meaningful conversation'...;) Most people talk to me only to be polite, very few are really trying to 'connect'...so controlling the conversational boundaries as others above have stated, works out fairly well...



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07 Dec 2007, 11:01 pm

In retrospect I realize I have known a number of aspies in my life (not a lot, but some). None of them could pass for NT in any sustained social situation.

However, I can also think of a number of people with "shadow traits" who were sort of in between aspie and NT. They could pass for normal but it seemed to take a toll on them.



Visual77
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07 Dec 2007, 11:09 pm

ToadOfSteel wrote:
Greentea wrote:
But what about those like me, Inventor, who don't have skills for any kind of freelance job that earns a living?


This is where I fit in... video gaming and photoshopping pictures don't earn money (except for beta testing, but that is not a good job anyway, as they make you test all these horrible games)


Actually, the company I work for has 6 people whose primary skill is photoshopping pictures. They have some base HTML knowledge, too, but hell, an aspie should be able to learn that in 2 days.