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Were you bullied
Poll ended at 06 Jan 2008, 12:55 am
Yes 88%  88%  [ 89 ]
No 12%  12%  [ 12 ]
Total votes : 101

Sora
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07 Dec 2007, 2:15 pm

I do not know about grades 1 to 4, because I wasn't aware of these things back then. I can remember some few situations in which someone may have been trying to bully me, but I don't think anybody succeeded thanks to my total awesome autistic blindness to any human being outside my family.

However, I was bullied from kids and teachers all throughout grades 5 to 11/12, at three different schools and every month. I sometimes wonder where people took their enthusiasm from to bully me each day!

Severe bullying, I was called names, thrown objects at, were beaten up, humiliated by adults outside and inside class. I went mute in grade 6 until I was thrown out of school for failing and horrible behaviour - the teachers claimed that someone as weird as me was served right by being humiliated every step.

What to say about it...? Changed me for life, it did. I wanted to jump out of the window when I was 11, I'm glad I didn't.

I don't have any permanent problems because of it, I had of course, I hope that's clear. I mean right now I don't have any trust issues, I'm not afraid of people, I'm not depressed, not suicidal, which all is a wonder in itself I was told. I don't care, I'm just glad that I'm okay. The only remaining thing is that I'll instantly get ill, even physically ill, when someone bullies me and tend to lose verbal skills.

The good thing is that since I know that I'm autistic I didn't get into any more bullying situations, some tried but stopped after trying it immediately. It's so seriously strange.



lastcrazyhorn
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07 Dec 2007, 2:54 pm

1st and 2nd grades, I was bullied through the isolation principle. Kids just wouldn't have anything to do with me.

3rd and 4th grade, I was still isolated, but by then kids were getting competitive and had realized that having me on their side or team meant that they had to deal with a liability. Or else, kids would act like they were my friends, and then not treat me the way friends are supposed to treat one another.

5th grade, I moved across the country. I was just that WEIRD new kid.

6-12th - I got everything else. Bad. By nearly everyone who came in contact with me. People would get up from their table if I sat down with them. People would sit on the floor to avoid sitting with me. I got rocks and glass thrown at me. People dumped gatorade on my. They pushed me down the stairs. They would whisper at me when I went down the hall, calling me It or s**t, or Fag or Dyke or b***h, or Freak . . . or yeah. Kids made up rumors about me. Teachers laughed at me when I got stuff wrong. People would deny me basic rights; like the right to go the bathroom and the right to an education in safety.

List goes on.

I was suicidal at 11. Self-injurer and all that. Not for the blood, but just to assure that I was still alive. I'd say something and no one would respond. I'd ask for help, people would just act like I hadn't said anything. No one acknowledged me in the hallways. No one would talk to me except to tease. I was worse than a ghost, because even ghosts get to take revenge once in a while.

I got diagnosed with IBS in the 8th grade. I spent that entire summer either not eating, or being sick. My stress and worry levels were through the roof. The bus driver would help the kids on my bus come up with better ways of making fun of me. My nickname on the bus was "Nervous Freak."

I got death threats. People saying they'd come to my house and kill me in my sleep. I told teachers, and they told me I was making it up. I talked to a counselor at the school and she threatened to tell my mom that I was suicidal unless I did what she wanted.

In the caf, people would throw bottle of water at me, food, trash. They'd spill stuff on me, or just sit in the corner, pointing and laughing.

No one ever came over to my house to play.

I didn't have a real friend until I was a freshman in college.

Now I don't get bullied anymore. I won't stand for it. Someone tries to bully me now, they get me up in their face. I can be freakily wild when I get pissed off enough. I actually picked a 300 lb. guy off of his feet once.


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07 Dec 2007, 3:37 pm

I was bullied till 6th grade and then my family moved to Montana and I wasn't bullied there at all because we lived in a small town and I was in special ed. I don't think kids bullied kids there who were different or the school had a good rule system about bullying. It was a small school anyway so it's easier to keep track of the students in your school and disciplining them. The bigger it is, the more students there are, it's harder to know what's going on and to keep track of each student. So it makes it easy to pick on a student who is different but looks like everyone else because they don't stand out as much.



aeroz
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07 Dec 2007, 3:51 pm

I was bullied alot in school. Though unlike most I didn't put up with it, I beat them up. Yea thats right I beat up bullies, jerks deserved it. I became feared, and more of an outcast. But atleast I was left alone. Then high school started and no one knew, or remembered, that I could bash their heads in with ease. But by then I had learned alot of self control and my passive aspie nature outweighed my anger and frustraction. So all of high school I just put up with it.

College was different though since frankly people had better things to do. There were still bullies, but they were few and had other targets besides me, which actually reduced them to back of the room comments more then actual bullying. Might also be because my outward personality is different. Problem was actually my cousin. Someone I made the mistake in trusting. Lately she has been tormenting me, I cant explain how depressed I was when I realized it would never end. Long as I continued to take the chance of revealing who I am, I will be bullied. Only way to avoid it is to completely close yourself off, that or make everyone that bullies you suffer until no one is left.



ADoyle
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07 Dec 2007, 4:03 pm

I was bullied until the end of the 7th grade when my family moved, and for the most part, school beyond that was fine. I didn't care that I didn't fit in with the popular crowd, as I had a small circle of friends in band. I did have a geometry teacher in high school who gave me a hard time because I struggled with the subject. She got on my case once for using the calculator "too much," but the particular problem needed it. I wasn't alone as someone in my senior year had their embarassing moment published in the yearbook, and it was that they got in a fight with this teacher.

The only bullying I ever got as an adult was from my ex-husband, the reason he's my ex. When I worked in retail one holiday season, I noticed that some customers were rude to everyone, not just me.


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Scramjet
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07 Dec 2007, 6:30 pm

Yup, I got bullyed a heck of a lot through primary and secondary education, more or less causing me to drop out of secondary, not to return to the educational system for years.

But when I returned to the schoolbooks to obtain a vocational secondary, it was a completely differnt story: Having no trouble keeping pace with the curriculum, I became an indeed very respected source for help and advice for my peers. Man, if only primary and secondary had been like this...! :?



howzat
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07 Dec 2007, 6:41 pm

I was bullied in skool most of da tym cos i suffer quite a lot of racism 4rm ppl but since i left skool its been all good.



beautifuloblivion
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07 Dec 2007, 7:26 pm

Nope. :D



rexmas
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07 Dec 2007, 8:17 pm

It wasn't until I laid out 3 kids in a one week time period in 8th grade when all the bullying stopped, back then I hated to be violent, I hated to hurt people.
Kid 1 - He had always heckled me, he thought it would be funny to take my bucket-hat and flush it down a school toilet, then rub it in my face that he had done so for three consecutive hours, I turned suddenly to meet his fist in my stomach, but to his surprise I didn't lurch, I merely brought my elbow across his face and planted my size 9 1/2 boot in his stomach, he fell, I don't remember what hit the ground first, his vomit or him.

Kid 2 - Good friend of Kid 1, he felt that I was cheap and dishonorably took advantage of his friend's inability to react fast enough to my retaliation, He attempted to call me out in the cafeteria, when he threw sasbury steak at me, after I washed up in the bathroom he was waiting for me outside the door and attempted to close the door on me as I came out, I am thankful for my god-given gift of strength and huskiness, because I pushed as hard as I could on the door, the collision betwixt him and the door made a loud thump causeing him to fall, while he was scrambling to his feet I swung my mighty foot into his side, causing him to collapse, I smugly say to him as he's struggling on the ground: "I never understand why you runts tease people bigger than you, do you like being beaten?"

Kid 3 - As far as I could tell kid 3 was not associated with Kid 1 and Kid 2, He was, however one of the many who teased me on a regular basis, what he did is something I'll never, ever forgive him for... I was drawing in my sketchbook, those who know me know that my sketchbook means more to me than anything I own, as I was drawing he took me sketchbook, and began to tear the pages apart, something in me snapped, the part of my brain that wasn't affected with the medication I had been on, It was like I turned into the hulk (minus the getting big and green), I tackled him to the ground and relentlessly unleashed a flurry of punches and cuss-words and to me it seemed for every punch I landed I could feel his friends who accompanied him's eyes grow in sheer terror as they witnessed a what appeared to be dosile creature become more enraged and furious than a grizzly bear whom had just been disturbed from his slumber, once they regained their senses they peeled me off of him, and a teacher was notified immediately,

After these events a very unfortunate, but predicted outcome unfolded, I was very feared except by friends, rumours of my brutal attacks escalated and were inflated, from what I heard, people were telling others that I ripped chunks out of one of the kids with my teeth, the imagination is an incredible tool, isin't it?

Now I am by no means condoning physical violence as a way to deal with bullying, though I got what I wanted, I lost a lot of respect from others and teachers, so my lesson to you, children,
Don't pick fights you know you will win! XD


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sarahstilettos
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08 Dec 2007, 8:22 am

Nintey five percent yes... f*****g hell.

Lets just say that when people ask me why did I have to leave school, since I'm obviously at least reasonably intelligent, I avoid the question.



Keoren
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08 Dec 2007, 10:29 am

I'm always bullied or end up being, no matter the environment. I often don't even realize why.



Deus_ex_machina
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08 Dec 2007, 11:12 am

As far as I can remember I wasn't bullied early on for several years, then eventually I stopped doing NT things, I lost my friends, I stopped playing sports, and I sort of became an outcast drifting between friends. During that time I got bullied on and off by a couple of people but eventually that ended when I became friends with my current Best Friend. Now people just annoy me due to ignorance of AS - That isn't to say that actual ignorance of AS annoys me but the fact that they're ignorant of AS allows them to do things that annoy me without knowing that it annoys me or why it would.


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08 Dec 2007, 11:15 am

I don't know if I was or not. Probably not in the traditional sense, although I hated school after 6th grade. I was ignored. It wasn't a conscious effort on their part, they just saw right through me. I recall being surprised whenever anyone addressed me. I suppose there are worse things, but it caused major insecurity.

My teenage years were the deepest pit of hell. I left high school early for college. I absolutely loathed my peers.



maritimeblaze17
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08 Dec 2007, 6:55 pm

Like many on the list I suffered from being bullied. While my social skills were/are nowhere as bad as they are for many on this board, when I was growing up, I endured harassment, teasing, and isolation. Up until fifth grade I was in special education and it made very worse. My parents put their feet down that year and I finally entered "regular classes", but the damage had been done. (Part of me thinks that I missed out on crucial years of development that I will never get back). In those early years I was picked on. I remember often being the "only kid in the class" who didn't receive invitations to birthday parties. I sucked at sports; and, like many of you, I was often the "last kid" picked for teams.

It continued through junior high and high school. I did have friends, but I was rejected by the "jock" crowd. I often sucked at sports and gym class (ironically, though, I weight lift and run now all the time). It made it hard for me. Again I wasn't invited to many of the parties that other kids had. I often was left out. I didn't have the "social standing" that I wanted. I did find extracurricular activities that let me interact with other kids, but it was very hard for me at times.

In college it continued. I went to a school where Greek Life was very important. Freshman year it crushed me that I wasn't invited to join a fraternity. I felt like I had been left out. I suffered other incidents where people took advantage of me. Through seeing a therapist, however, who assisted me with my family problems, I realized that I myself often acted in ways that "made it hard" for people to want to be friend and treat me well. He told me that bullies take advantage of those with weaker social skills. What he told me was that while there were many people out there who liked me, because of how I acted in certain situations, it made it hard for them to want to extend an offer of friendship to me. It made perfect sense. Through his help I was able to make and keep friends, but it was a tough lesson.

What I learned from him was that our own behaviors make us more likely to be bullied. Now, before I continue, I will say clearly that our behaviors are not a justification for mental, emotional, physical, and verbal abuse from others. It, however, is an explanation of why some of us may be targeted more than others. Rightly or wrongly our own behaviors influence how others see us and may make us more vulnerable to being bullied and harassed by others. The key is to figure out a way to identify which behaviors make us more vulnerable to harassment and figure out ways to change how we act toward others. The other thing that I would suggest is that people stay in shape, work out, lift weights, and learn self-defense.

You can't be a victim. One of the regrets that I had is that no adult in my life took me to the gym and made me work out. I am regretful that I didn't sign up for self-defense courses and stay in shape. If you are overweight or small my suggestion is that you hit the gym. Doing so will help you gain self-confidence and improve yourselves.

Finally the focus of these threads shouldn't be on what happened to yoo, but rather on what steps that you can take to avoid being bullied. That would be more self-empowering.



Spot17
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08 Dec 2007, 7:30 pm

My first school memory was of kids throwing sand in my eyes in preschool. It could have been worse; I went to a very small private school from 1st - 7th grades. I did get picked on some (one year by the teacher - that really sucked), but with an average grade size of 10 people you usually don't see anything that bad.

Eighth grade was horrible. I transferred to a fairly large Catholic grade school, where most of the kids had been there since kindergarten. I was picked on non-stop and had no friends at all. In addition, my best friend of seven years (who went there too), ditched me as soon as she realized I was a social pariah.

In high school, I became friends with a group of four other misfit girls. We spent the next four years being complete and utter b*****s to practically everyone else in our year, even got accused of being satanists at one point. We had a damn good time, even though we all had really screwed up families.