Your misunderstandings with NTs?

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I'm not sure about becoming "better people". Those who criticized me downstairs are far from being good people. They'll sell their souls and their best friends for a promotion, abuse their spouses, whatever. Oh but they do stand all together like good sheep after a tremor. They know from intuition that they have to in order to look good.

Continue being yourself.

Last edited by JWRed on 08 Dec 2007, 11:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

Yes, better was the wrong word.

It is not a sign of disrespect. It is INTERPRETED as a sign of disrespect. No disrespect is intended.

As for advice, I don't really see much advice in this thread. Mostly it's just sympathizing and sharing anecdotes. What bad advice has been given?

My main problem seems to be people reading into what I say too much. I try to be as blunt and straight to the point as possible, and apparently NT's don't do that. It's like people refuse to listen to the words coming out of my mouth, and accuse me of thinking or implying things that I am not. If I think it, I will tell you. People don't seem to understand this.

People read too much into my words because I don't talk in commonly used phrases. When they say something, they expect a variety of 4-5 things a person may say. When I say something few would say, they are taken aback and start analyzing what I said, distrusting it, suspecting, finally accusing.
I've trained myself to as much as I can respond with common phrases and cliches such as "everything will be all right" and "you have to think positive". Then I don't arouse suspicion.

That's just sad. Communication is supposed to be our problem but they seem to talk without communicating.

Oh, and this reminded me of a Kids in the Hall sketch. I posted it here:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp1081165.html#1081165

They use a lot of words to say very little. I use very few words to say a whole lot.

Sometimes things get lost in translation.

Oh boy I could go for DAYS rattling off the number of Me/NT misunderstandings I've been faced with!!

And what makes it worse is that 90 percent of the time they blame me 100 percent when they played a role in it (and sometimes were solely responsible themselves) the cow manure hits the fan big time!

I was going to give it some thought before I posted but you wrote exactly how I currently feel. I seem to screw up alllll the time!!

I will give you an example. I had a fight with my best friend, its still unresolved. He basicly said that I never considered how he felt and that I should appologize for storming outa his house and then leaving a mean message on his answering matchine. However is he not guilty of the same things because he claimed he had nothing to say sorry for cause he did nothing wrong and that he refuses to understand why I felt offended when he said I was lying when that was absolutly not my intention, I made a mistake and he railed me big time. He told me I was only fighting just to be right but then why is it he is automaticly right and gets to scold me for being wrong when just doing and saying those things is exactly what he told me I should not do.

Another story from work just tonight this occured. A co worker was angry he had to come to my dock and unload a truck. This guy is known for totally screwing off and talking instead of doing work. As a result I am more productive then he is. I was talking to the reciever and he very rudly held down the horn button on his forklift to interupt us. He then came over to me and told me that we needed to hurry up cause he wanted to go home. I have also told him and others last friday I wanted to go home so we should hurry up, he responded by saying he did not care and that he would go slow all night, but then expected me to bust ass just cause he wanted to go home. He gets to have conversations all night long but why is it wrong for me. I called him out on it, reminding him I have the credit of being the top producer on the dock, even exceeding his and that he does not get to order me to work faster when he wont work faster for me. I think i got my point across cause he left me alone the rest of the night and I did not hear from him since .

These misunderstandings occure almost every day in my life. I have a theory that somehow many people see that we are different, and so treat us differently obviosuly. Since we are different and they see it they get too abuse you and thats fine but if you abuse them you are wrong and the bad guy. I hate to fight my friends and co-workers cause of this, but I know I tend to be eather polite, trustworthy and respectful typically, or I will not interact with anybody at all, I am certainly not known for just walking up to someone, abusing them or screwing them over intentionally and then not expect it to come back to me. I try to treat those as I wish to be treated, but tend to find I am treated a bit worse then others I treat so now I have learned to avoid them or even try to dish out my own abuse so they will leave me alone, this of course has had mixed results.

Well said.

That pretty much says it all right there.

No, we get the words, all right. We don't get enough of the nonverbals that say to take the opposite of what the words mean. How dare we?