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gbollard
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15 Dec 2007, 3:05 pm

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Stand up to people in real life when they are taking advantage of me. It might not seem so, but in real life, I am very unassertive. I know the theory but when it comes to putting it into practice, I get a mental block and end up handing over money to my ex or my younger daughter every time they demand it.


*moment of realization*

Oh... of course, that would be an aspie thing wouldn't it.

(sigh).

I've always been like that but just assumed it was me only. I went out last night for a meal and my steak was about 70% inedible. I told my wife that the place is now on the banned list - we can't go back for at least 6 months but that was it.

My wife took a look at the steak, grabbed it and went to get it exchanged.

I can't do those things. Sure I understand the theory but I'm so non-confrontational that I avoid such situations.

Thanks, you've clarified a very important point for me.



nicurn
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16 Dec 2007, 4:34 am

Yes, I get angry. I've know something t'warn't right for about a year, and nobody but me seemed to see how difficult a time E was having with life. When I finally got him to a neurologist and he was diagnosed, I felt such a sense of relief.

A couple of days later, I remembered a conversation E and I had when he was 4. He was tired and we were moving, and he asked me to promise that we'd never move again. I cheerfully explained how one day he would grow up and want to move away, and get married, etc. I hadn't finished my sentence when I heard howls from the back seat. I asked what was wrong, and he said, "I don't want to get married! I want to live with you forever."

That's when I got angry. I realized that all my "normal progression" ideas of parenting are out the window, and I was on the way to Holland, so to speak. All that said, I love E dearly exactly as he is. I find him absolutely marvelously fascinating, and I'm sure I'll be just as thrilled with him when he is 35, single and living in my basement. :wink:



kd
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16 Dec 2007, 10:13 am

nicurn wrote:
I cheerfully explained how one day he would grow up and want to move away, and get married, etc. I hadn't finished my sentence when I heard howls from the back seat. I asked what was wrong, and he said, "I don't want to get married! I want to live with you forever."


I had that exact conversation with my son too. He was about 7 at the time. He's also decided that he never wants to attempt college or have a job.



Pandora
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22 Dec 2007, 7:32 am

kd wrote:
nicurn wrote:
I cheerfully explained how one day he would grow up and want to move away, and get married, etc. I hadn't finished my sentence when I heard howls from the back seat. I asked what was wrong, and he said, "I don't want to get married! I want to live with you forever."


I had that exact conversation with my son too. He was about 7 at the time. He's also decided that he never wants to attempt college or have a job.
Well, those things are scary, even for NTs so it is no surprise that aspie kids would be even more frightened than most about this prospect. It's amazing though how young they come to this realisation.


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Jessrn
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22 Dec 2007, 6:48 pm

My 5 year old son informed me that he was going to live in our next door neighbors house when he grew up, so he could always be close to me. That's fine with me.

What has made me angry lately is the fact that everyone wants to "cure" my son. I don't know how I would feel if Bubba had a more severe form of autism, but I can tell you with total certainty that Bubba wouldn't be Bubba if he didn't have AS. I am also tired of people trying to find someone or something to blame, instead of just enjoying the children we have and seeking out ways to allow these children to live the best lives they can.



gbollard
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23 Dec 2007, 6:40 am

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What has made me angry lately is the fact that everyone wants to "cure" my son. I don't know how I would feel if Bubba had a more severe form of autism, but I can tell you with total certainty that Bubba wouldn't be Bubba if he didn't have AS.


There was a thread on WP where they asked who would trade AS for NT.

A few would, but surprisingly few.

Cure is not the word... Normalize is.
Normalization is great for reducing complexity - at the cost of creativity. - No thanks.