First Date first this Aspie (Fri), GUYS YOU WERE RIGHT!! !

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CentralFLM
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14 Dec 2007, 3:31 pm

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt45703.html (Link to everything if you have not read my previous post about this in my life)

God, thanks guys so much, computer love, lola, and the rest of you guys. I should have cut this off at least a month ago. She didn't call me yesterday so I call her cell and left a voice message. She then calls me this morning and says that she is giving her phone to this guy for now and that they are getting back together. She told me not to call that number again. Wow. Part of me believes that she would have never called me back, but she called so I wouldn't call that number to make her boyfriend jealous. She lead me on. Oh and by the way, they moved boot camp up, so she is going next week. Just a bunch of lies. But she told me as early as last week that she would take me with her if I didn't have a daughter. She said that we could still work it out. Can you believe this guys???? I like a dweeb, said yes. Then she says she is getting back with her boyfriend.
I asked her if what we had meant anything and she said of course it did. She said that she just does complete 180s in life and changes so quickly. I cried on the phone. I told her that 180s are fine, but not if a person is involved that you supposedly care about. She said we could still be friends. I feel emotionally raped!! !! !! !! ! There is no other way to discribe it. Is this girl a sadist. My God. Well, you all warned me and my family warned me weeks ago. I guess it felt so good to think someone loved me. ...............................................................................................................................................................................
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But it gets worse, a lot lot, worse. I have her Dad's cell phone because she has used it a couple of times. I call him, introduce myself to him again, and ask him if he can keep what I am saying confidential. He said yes. I tell him everything that has been going on in my life the last 2 months. He said, "you can tell if she is lying if her lips are moving". She is a pathalogical liar." He said that she is not going in the military and that she weighs over 250 pounds. She doesn't have cancer, but is sick, she has diabetes. He said that she going to UCF, but as a psychology major. He said that she was never married because her ex got cold feet. He said that she does have two daughters, but the oldest one does not have Asperger Syndrome. Can you believe this, she lied about her daughter's mental health? Her ex boyfriend did come back in town, and they are dating again. I feel like such a fool guys. Why do we with Asperger Syndrome have such low damn confidence?



insomniakat
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14 Dec 2007, 5:39 pm

You did NOTHING wrong here. I really wish you'd stop beating yourself up about it. If you're sad because you really liked her, then that's one thing. But don't get yourself down because you were open with her and trusted that what she told you was true. You HAVE to be like that if you want to be open to meeting someone. If you are too defensive and not sincere, then you won't meet anyone worthwhile. Someday you'll meet a great person that will totally appreciate all your great attributes.

Even NTs are lied to. Don't forget that.

She is NOT worth it. You're letting her win by obsessing over her. Obsess over a new hottie that deserves your attentions. :)


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gwenevyn
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14 Dec 2007, 6:15 pm

I read your other thread for the first time today. It just about broke my heart. You seem so good and kind. It's rotten that there are people who would take advantage of someone like you and lie to you. I hope you will never blame yourself.


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CentralFLM
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14 Dec 2007, 6:38 pm

Thanks guys. The sad thing is, I catch myself making excuses for her even still. Loyalty to the end with us Aspies huh? It's almost like I'm in love with this person that doesn't exist. This person I created in my mind, with the help of a liar is wonderful. Ha ha. I'll get over it, but you guys know I have low self confidence. This destroys me, but I'll get over it.



Last edited by CentralFLM on 14 Dec 2007, 10:58 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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14 Dec 2007, 7:55 pm

Please don't be hard on yourself. You were trusting, nothing worsw than that.

She is a bint. Hell with her.


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PowerGirl
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14 Dec 2007, 8:57 pm

Easy. WE don't have low self confidence and self esteem and all that. It just DEVELOPS because morons like that keep BREAKING what confidence and esteem we HAVE!! !! !! !! !! !! ! I say find a better girl without the sadism and lying, but keep in mind that sadism may just be displacement for some sort of discomfort in her life and she might be unconciously be taking it out on you. Talk if that happens. Happy Dating again. Good luck to you. Have fun. -Power Girl



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14 Dec 2007, 10:14 pm

Wow, I could so easily fall into the same situation you did. I've never had a serious boyfriend or anything and I'm more likely to trust what people say than to look at it with skepticism, especially people who appear to be honest. I'm just lucky I have my parents around to discearn those things for me. There is one guy I hang around with often at school, I think he's prety safe, we grew up in the same town and went to the same gradeschool and highschool. The thing is both of us are kinda shy and reserved so niether is comfortable suggesting that we are anything more than friends which is fine with me but my parents keep pushing me to invite him to go to a movie or something which I've not had time for (though I did ask him to come to a concert with me and my best friend and we had a good time) and I'm a traditionalist and believe the guy should ask the girl out and not the other way around. So until one of us make a move we will continue to have lunch at Avantis every tuesday with the same waitress who has our orders memorized because neither of us ever get anything different (this has been going on for over a year now we don't plan to stop any time soon.)


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15 Dec 2007, 12:23 am

Count yourself lucky, my friend - you found out before wasting ten years of your life on a pathological liar (and at least her father was able to recognize it - my ex-father-in-law never seemed to realize that about his daughter).

(Then again, he lied to himself about his stomach pain, dosing it with Pepto-Bismol, until the cancer had already consumed his colon, his prostate, and half his liver, and attacked his bones, before he finally went to a doctor...)

Don't lose heart, though - I recovered, and found a wonderful woman, whom I've been with for another ten years with no sign of stopping! :)


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15 Dec 2007, 7:25 am

Hold your head up high, dude, you come out of this situation the better person. She obviously had no problem hurting you, but you can learn from this. Your original post was one of the first I read when I came here, I know it has a crappy ending, but hey, that is life for you.


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15 Dec 2007, 6:06 pm

The pathological liars = bad joo-joo



Tilkor
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15 Dec 2007, 6:51 pm

Wow. Sorry to hear that she left a hole in your chest where your heart used to be, dude. Only idea that floats in my head is to have a drink or two, pick yourself up, and check out the next hotty that bounces past you.



JasonWilkes
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15 Dec 2007, 7:26 pm

PowerGirl wrote:
Easy. WE don't have low self confidence and self esteem and all that. It just DEVELOPS because morons like that keep BREAKING what confidence and esteem we HAVE!! !! !! !! !! !! ! I say find a better girl without the sadism and lying, but keep in mind that sadism may just be displacement for some sort of discomfort in her life and she might be unconciously be taking it out on you. Talk if that happens. Happy Dating again. Good luck to you. Have fun. -Power Girl


Couldn't have said it better.



CentralFLM
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16 Dec 2007, 10:57 am

Doesn't end. I get a call from her boyfriend very late last night. I wasn't sleeping. He said, "is this (her name)'s boyfriend? I said no. I could hear her yelling in the background. I then call that number back and said, "you shouldn't hang up on me, do you have any other questions?" He asked me again what was going on. I told him that we never met, we met on the internet and had something in common, have been talking on the phone, and that she told me that she couldn't talk to me anymore because it would make her boyfriend jealous talking to some guy on the phone. I said we were just good friends and nothing more. She was screaming in the background the whole time. Of course she is thinking that I would tell him about her so called feelings for me (I dont' think she knows that I know she is a pathological liar). I didn't tell him that she said she cared for me (we all know that she didn't) and I didn't tell him that she was a pathological liar and crazy. I know some of you are screaming at the top of your lungs for me not taking advantage of the situation for revenge and that I should have told him everything for his own good, but I took the high ground. I had a long conversation with a friend yesterday. I told him that if she called again I would start lying to her and tell her that I won the state lottery (45 million) and I wanted to give her a million because she was so nice to me. I thought about lying my ass off to her. Then he repeated something that I told him a few months back. I told him that life is about giving and not taking. I told him the greatest joy and my philosophy of life is about contributing and giving everything you have to others. It made me feel good that he remembered it, so I applied it to this situation. I do know she has two kids and maybe one of them is her father. I'm not going to do to those kids what this girl did to my daughter. I didn't neglect my daughter the past two months, but I could have spent even more time with her instead of wasting it on this person.



gwenevyn
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16 Dec 2007, 1:40 pm

I guess I don't really understand how that was "the high ground". Am I missing something? That guy was looking for the truth. She should have told him herself, but she's not honest enough ever to do anything like that. My honest opinion is that if he ever calls back, you should tell him what you know, for his sake.

Forgive my bluntness. I know you've been through a lot, and you were on the spot.


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16 Dec 2007, 2:46 pm

CentralFLM wrote:
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt45703.html (Link to everything if you have not read my previous post about this in my life)

God, thanks guys so much, computer love, lola, and the rest of you guys. I should have cut this off at least a month ago. She didn't call me yesterday so I call her cell and left a voice message. She then calls me this morning and says that she is giving her phone to this guy for now and that they are getting back together. She told me not to call that number again. Wow. Part of me believes that she would have never called me back, but she called so I wouldn't call that number to make her boyfriend jealous. She lead me on. Oh and by the way, they moved boot camp up, so she is going next week. Just a bunch of lies. But she told me as early as last week that she would take me with her if I didn't have a daughter. She said that we could still work it out. Can you believe this guys???? I like a dweeb, said yes. Then she says she is getting back with her boyfriend.
I asked her if what we had meant anything and she said of course it did. She said that she just does complete 180s in life and changes so quickly. I cried on the phone. I told her that 180s are fine, but not if a person is involved that you supposedly care about. She said we could still be friends. I feel emotionally raped!! !! !! !! ! There is no other way to discribe it. Is this girl a sadist. My God. Well, you all warned me and my family warned me weeks ago. I guess it felt so good to think someone loved me. ...............................................................................................................................................................................
......................................................................................................................................................................................
.....................................................................................................................................................................................
....
But it gets worse, a lot lot, worse. I have her Dad's cell phone because she has used it a couple of times. I call him, introduce myself to him again, and ask him if he can keep what I am saying confidential. He said yes. I tell him everything that has been going on in my life the last 2 months. He said, "you can tell if she is lying if her lips are moving". She is a pathalogical liar." He said that she is not going in the military and that she weighs over 250 pounds. She doesn't have cancer, but is sick, she has diabetes. He said that she going to UCF, but as a psychology major. He said that she was never married because her ex got cold feet. He said that she does have two daughters, but the oldest one does not have Asperger Syndrome. Can you believe this, she lied about her daughter's mental health? Her ex boyfriend did come back in town, and they are dating again. I feel like such a fool guys. Why do we with Asperger Syndrome have such low damn confidence?


I once had an issue where I was dating a girl who claimed she was only roomates with another guy. I told her I'm not comfortable with that and she'd have to atleast attempt to move out soon if you really want us to give it a go. She never did and I dumped her but during that time I slept with her alot and then I found out that dude was really her fiance. So I know how your feeling in a strange way thats why when my ex was all like I want to move in with my gay best friend I was like not if you want us to have a future. She didn't listen either thinknig I was bluffing so I dumped her too now she kinda stalks me on the internet.



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16 Dec 2007, 2:50 pm

gwenevyn wrote:
I guess I don't really understand how that was "the high ground". Am I missing something? That guy was looking for the truth. She should have told him herself, but she's not honest enough ever to do anything like that. My honest opinion is that if he ever calls back, you should tell him what you know, for his sake.

Forgive my bluntness. I know you've been through a lot, and you were on the spot.


I agree he was probably as in the dark as the op was about the situation. You knew when something don't feel right. I didn't feel right with the original gf's living arrangement and I didn't feel good about the last ex so I said I'm not taking it and that she had to comprimise for me instead of the other way around.