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Mumto2
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14 Dec 2007, 4:51 pm

He seems to have a problem with bright light or noise, but he is very loud if you know what I mean. In his play the lights came on and he turned round, sat on the floor, got up and stomped around whilst the other kids sang, very embarrassing for me, whilst feeling like I wanted to pick him up and take him home. Is this the norm for aspergers as Im new to this he has only just bee diagnosed. Thx.



shaggydaddy
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14 Dec 2007, 4:55 pm

sounds normal to me.


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ssenkrad
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14 Dec 2007, 5:01 pm

I'm no parent, but could it be that his stomping was an attempt to block the sensory stimulation of being on stage?

Don't be embarrassed about it - laugh it off, and teach your child to laugh it off as well in case his classmates bring it up later. I'm sure every child has had some embarrassing moment in elementary school.



Age1600
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14 Dec 2007, 5:16 pm

ssenkrad wrote:
I'm no parent, but could it be that his stomping was an attempt to block the sensory stimulation of being on stage?


I agree he might have been stomping to block the sensory stimulation. It is very normal for autistics to have sensorys to lights and noise. Lights give me headaches 24-7, and if u turn off the lights i instantly start laughing, giggling, so happy, like the light was such a burden. Noise ugh, i hear everything, i hate noises, even the lightest, lowest noise bothers me, maybe try bringing sunglasses or headphones wherever you go to avoid situations like you've experienced.


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Last edited by Age1600 on 14 Dec 2007, 6:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

insomniakat
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14 Dec 2007, 5:42 pm

What did he say when you asked him about?


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Mumto2
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14 Dec 2007, 5:44 pm

insomniakat wrote:
What did he say when you asked him about?


Its difficult he is only a little boy of 6, he doesnt really answer you all the time, sometimes he does, but rarely will he give a full answer. I think thats something that is difficult because I still do not really know how he feels about certain situations yet.



insomniakat
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14 Dec 2007, 5:49 pm

If he has auditory difficulties (Sensory Integration Disorder), he may not be ignoring you at all or may be too distracted to concentrate on answering you. He may also not understand that you don't experience what he experiences...so why should he or how could he explain it? Sort of like why should I or how can I explain yellow with words.

He may have trouble processing what you say or may not even hear you at all sometimes. Does his conversation ability get better if you move to a very quiet area with no distractions? When I say quiet...I really mean QUIET! Perhaps a dim room as well. See if he is better able to focus on what you are talking to him about and answer back. This could be sensory integration issues. You may want to read up on them and see if he has these sorts of issues.

I must include that I have zero experience with six year olds, so I have no idea of their conversation ability. I don't know if you meant that he was just a typical six year old and they aren't that great at explaining.


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woodsman25
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14 Dec 2007, 6:15 pm

Mumto2 wrote:
He seems to have a problem with bright light or noise, but he is very loud if you know what I mean. In his play the lights came on and he turned round, sat on the floor, got up and stomped around whilst the other kids sang, very embarrassing for me, whilst feeling like I wanted to pick him up and take him home. Is this the norm for aspergers as Im new to this he has only just bee diagnosed. Thx.


Ya, I have a huge problem with noise and light. I work in a very bussy warehouse and the intense light emitted from the snake lights that illuminate the truck I must always cover my eyes with while it seems everyone else is unaffected. I am also the only person in the warehouse to cover their ears when a pallet hits the floor, I cant stand the loudness. In both cases its only a second long but I am pretty sure I would not have reacted well eather in your sons situation. I always had a very loud voice, and often as a child was told that I should not be yelling, I did not realize I was. What people at work ask is since I appear to be hard of hearing (I always need stuff repeated cause the place is so loud and very fast paced) then how come I seem so sensitive to the pallet hitting the floor? Sounds like your sone and I have very similar issues in the department, as I am sure many others here on WP also have.


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Mumto2
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14 Dec 2007, 6:22 pm

Thanks, it is so helpful for me to get experiences from people on here to understand my son. Any help I can get is a massive bonus and helps both of us. I think maybe he does have sensory issues as he covers his ears with loud noises and he actually covered his eyes when the bright lights come on. Im always telling him not to shout as he wakes the baby, poor lad probably doesnt realise he is shouting, We will get there, I want to help him any way I can and this site is such a great help already.



BattleCreekDavid
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14 Dec 2007, 9:56 pm

Being a father of a child with high functioning autism, I understand how you feel. I also have Asperger's myself. My son has a fascination with ceiling fans and will often suddenly lay down underneath them, even if it's in a store. My son also has a sensory processing disorder which often goes hand in hand with autism, although not always. My son can do some pretty strange things. Every child with autism/Asperger's are very different from each other, so what your son does may be different from my son.


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14 Dec 2007, 11:51 pm

Mumto2 wrote:
Im always telling him not to shout as he wakes the baby, poor lad probably doesnt realise he is shouting, We will get there, I want to help him any way I can and this site is such a great help already.


I have 3 sons - 2 with Asperger's (aged 9 and 7).

We have nicknamed our 9 year old "The Human Megaphone" because he is so loud. He isn't aware of the noise he makes.

As a Mum of 2 Aspies, I regard the behaviour during the play as perfectly normal! Don't be embarassed. Age1600 has the right idea - sunglasses and earplugs.

We bought our boys mp3 players so they can play soothing music to drown out irritating sounds.

I have taken off my 'NT kid' filters when observing my boys' behaviour. I wear my 'Aspie filter'. This helps me interpret their behaviour and do something if they are stressed / overloaded.

I used to worry all the time about what people were thinking when we went shopping. Now I don't care at all.

A funny anectode: We started Taekwondo a few months ago. The boys now regard any time waiting in a queue as Taekwondo practice time. They decided one day to practice their best jump front kicks on Mummy! So I'm standing in the queue as each boy is yelling, 'Jump Front Kick' then kicking my bottom (softly, it didn't hurt at all).

So I am so used to my boys, I didn't even think this behaviour might be regarded as 'odd'. I was daydreaming about something else, basically ignoring them. Then this lady says to me, 'Goodnes, they look like a handful!' :lol:

Helen



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15 Dec 2007, 8:00 am

It sounds pretty normal to me. I hate bright lights with a passion, though loud noises don't bother me so much as certain frequencies... I can't stand that high-pitched electric squeal you sometimes get that most people don't seem to hear. I think the mp3 player suggestion is a great one actually. Can you get him some sunglasses or something perhaps for the lights?

I know about the loudness though... everyone's always telling me to turn the volume down. I'm normally ok these days because I've been told so many times that I'm very aware of it, but the moment I get excited about something I'm shouting again without realising. That or I talk too quietly because I'm over-compensating and nobody can hear me. Just tell him gently and nicely when he's being a bit loud, maybe try and get him to practise speaking at the right volume with you at home so he's got more of an idea of what that appropriate level feels like?

I have a 6 year old brother with selective mutism, which isn't an ASD as far as I know but it's similar. He's got a speech language therapist working with him and it's done wonders to help us work out why it is he can't talk in some situations. She doesn't force him to do it like some people try; more tries to help him explain to us what's going on in his mind so we can work to fix the problem for him and he can start talking again like he wants to. Have you got anyone similar who could help him with you? We found it was her experience in dealing with kids like him and getting them talking just to her that did the trick properly.

I think it's brilliant you're on this site and trying to understand your son, instead of just going all out on drugs and medication and 'curing' him aggressively like some people I've seen. He's already got an advantage there!! Just don't despair - most of us turn out pretty ok really. ;)


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2ukenkerl
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15 Dec 2007, 9:24 am

Mumto2 wrote:
Thanks, it is so helpful for me to get experiences from people on here to understand my son. Any help I can get is a massive bonus and helps both of us. I think maybe he does have sensory issues as he covers his ears with loud noises and he actually covered his eyes when the bright lights come on. Im always telling him not to shout as he wakes the baby, poor lad probably doesnt realise he is shouting, We will get there, I want to help him any way I can and this site is such a great help already.


Take it easy about the shouting too. That is ALSO an aspie symptom. I don't have a low/loud voice, and literally don't seem to even be ABLE to yell. YET......

At times my voice practically THUNDERS! Happily it doesn't happen so much now, APPARENTLY, but it is not my mere perception. I have had people from well over a dozen yards away, or the next room tell me to lower my voice when I am trying to talk to people less than a couple yards away. It has always been a bit embarassing, etc... but, now that I found out about AS, WOW! THAT's why! BTW a yard is about 1.08m. Conversely, there have been times when I have spoken too quietly. He will have to get used to monitoring his voice and, even then, he may slip up.



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15 Dec 2007, 11:41 am

Sometimes when we shout it's a normal reaction to stress that our bodies are feeling. We often don't realise that we are shouting at all.

I will be telling my husband something that I am very upset about and I don't realise that I am shouting at him until he says, "Please don't yell at me if you're not angry with me." Then that is my cue to breathe and try to tone down a little. It's difficult.

It makes stressful situations much worse too, because we often lose track of the real reality in how we are reacting to the perceived reality. For example, when I am feeling as if I am being verbally attacked, my brain is actually telling me to not cry, not to jump up and shout, to shut down, to get away from the person that is attacking me and to build lots of brick walls inside of me to protect me. In the midst of all this, I may actually be doing some of the things that my brain is telling me not to do, but I no longer have control over those things because I'm so busy doing the stuff that my brain has told me to do.

Stress throws us into a very "fight or flight" frame off mind. We are usually just trying to figure out how the hell to get away from the thing that is causing the stress.

When little ones are affected you have to remember that they have not yet figured out how to or even which things to block out yet. They are constantly being assaulted by things that are causing discomfort and stress, and thus, they react accordingly.

I agree, being AS myself and having a son with AS who is now a teenager, that a sense of humour is very important to develop. We somehow managed to make him live to 16, so now when he does something that he can't control, when I get him to control himself, we both laugh at it and say, "Well, that was an autistic moment". It helps to recognise that sometimes we just don't have any control over any part of the situation except how we react when the damage is done.


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