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What is friendship but lack of understanding and dismissal of feelings? (irl friendship at least, it's not about anyone here)

Catching up on some lectures today.

Lectures

Fnord's Three Laws of Project Completion

I) An employee in procrastination tends to stay in procrastination unless an external force is applied to it.

II) The age, 'a', of a project is directly proportional to the flexibility, 'f', given by the supervisor and inversely proportional to the employee's motivation, 'm'.

Lots to do again.

Lectures again today.

Why is it always... Always in the left side of my head, just behind my eye?

Why is it always at the left side? With my left eye?

Why???

When something is wrong with me, it's always the left side of my eye, behind my left eye that's been aching.

When something incredible happens, this particular area felt really good.

What exactly does this mean?

I've been searching it for years. And nothing clear.

I've been telling some people about it sometimes.
As usual it's dismissed as some menstrual headache or tell me to lessen my screen time.

No.

It's always like this since puberty.
Something is going on.

But no one's listening. No one's doing anything about it. And I've told about it plenty of times with all the same answers.

I wish I can afford a doctor. For myself. Do it myself. Because everyone else do not listen.

When I was a teenager, it hurts bad enough to wake me from sleep and lasts an hour.
It doesn't happen as bad when I was an adult.

But when I woke up refreshed... The same spot tingles. Then suddenly I was an adult for a day or so.

Search tells that spot is where the EF functions.
Which is aligned with my experiences so far.

But the pain of it...
Sometimes it IS hormonal. It always happens in every hormonal changes.
Sometimes it comes out of nowhere.
Sometimes it happens when I'm tired.
Sometimes and also happens more often whenever the rhinitis symptoms also happens.

Again...
What does this mean?!

Why left side specially?
Why not both sides of my head?
Why not the right side of my head?
Why not elsewhere?



And I know this is absurd.

Usually I feel I can't reach this part of the brain well. Or that it felt blocked. Or deprived. Or dead.
Whatever. I can't access it well. There's no 'spark'. Or that the sparks don't go there.
As if I can't think well with it. It can't 'overwork' because it 'doesn't work' as it should.

But this is a stupid remark.
One cannot just feel the brain itself.

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School

Rain is depressing.

Strawberries

I went for a drive today.

It's almost 5AM.

Ah well.

I got few options for making me my sister's today's alarm clock:

Sit on her.
Knock the doors.
Play loud music on the phone.
Annoy her gently.
Stare at her.


If the door's looked...
Kick the doors repeatedly.

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Coffee time

I need to buy more weight control supplements.

Feeling so agitated!