Do aspie girls fit into society better then the guys?

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Are they able to live and fit into the american dream easier as well?

Guys in school are picked on the worst and most extreme cases, if you don't fit in your made fun of, beat up and in some extreme cases other stuff.

Girls really not a whole lot of making fun of happens to them, less fights occur especailly physically in school

Guys trying to get date's need to be very social and comfortable in asking a girl out with initiative

Girls just really don't need a whole lot of initiative or social cues to get on dates even with NT's

Guys instincts need to be leaders and try to fix problems which doesn't really help someone with AS

Girls instincts like compassionan helps them make up for there AS an make friends and relationships easier

Guys usually got to get a job with other people and mesh with society better to get anywhere in life

Girls can usually just marry some guy and raise the kids and be at home with the family.

So yeah basically this means that girls really don't have it as hard with AS since society is more kind to them and easier for them to mix in with NT's.

This also may explain why less 5:1 less females are diagnosed as aspies then guys, which may mean there really was a balance the whole time just less females with the problems being big enough an issue for gettin a diagnosis

What do you guys think is there a difference, is it small or big? Or is it pretty much an equivelent difficulty?

We are shunned and isolated, esp. from girls who have their clicks and exclude us like we have the plague..boys are just as guilty to make fun of aspies for being different...

When you make the claim that AS girls don't have it as hard as AS guys, you should be asking what the girls think...not the guys.

I was made fun of not just in school, but all through life everywhere. Never underestimate the level of cruelty that the female sex can dish out!

As for dates, yes guys take the initiative...but apparently you have no clue what happens after that.

You make it sound like girls who marry and raise kids don't get anywhere in life because they don't earn the money! There is no job more important than being a good mother. You have no idea how much harder it is to remain with your boss 24/7 for life.

Being a housewife and mother does protect you from some things guys may not have to deal with, but when women have to deal with crap, it's usually way more serious, difficult, and scary! For example, non-thinking conformist government employees working for social services when they want to take your children away even though those children are receiving better care than they could anywhere else...stuff like that crap.

It's obvious that you have not lived to experience much yet in this life. My advice (so you curb looking so foolish) would be to tone down your opinions until you have more years of living under your belt.

Amen, Sister!! !

Young women can get by being passive in a way that young men cannot. Young women can sit on a barstool and look pretty. Young men have to demonstrate initiative. (Figuratively speaking.)

girls may not be as physically abusive to each other but I think there is MORE social pressure on girls, more jealousy and bitchiness and this goes on more in adulthood as well so you don't escape when you leave shool. my main work problems have always been because of the competitiveness of other women and the passive abuse/put downs etc. After discussing recent problems my boss (male) said that this is how it is with women working together and he has to deal with sorting out the arguements even between NTs, and that it would be much easier when it is just men working together.



traditionally the expectation has been on the man to ask the girl, if an AS girl is pretty then she will probably get asked, however I think there is a higher rate of AS girls being taken advantage of, abused, manipulated as we are easier targets thatn NT girls. So yes it maybe is easier for AS girls to get dates but not necessarily stable relationships



as an AS girl then I have the 'leader' instincts not the compasson (male brain theory?) this gets me in trouble with other women co-workers (see comment above) and I get told I'm bossy, interferring etc. I have tried 'compassion' but as I apparently come across as 'lesbian' (I'm not but since school other girls think I am) then other girls run a mile if I try be friendly to them.



ha!ha!ha! so when we get taken advantage of by some ruthless manipulative jerk and then get pregnant and then get dumped to bring up the kids by ourselves and have to work to make ends meet as well as bringing up kids, that is easier than just having a job?
even if you do meet someone who is not a jerk and get married then try tell any woman (AS or NT) that bringing up kids is easier than 'working a proper job' she will probably kick your but!



I think there are differences but each case is individual as to how hard it is, you can't generalise between sexes. I think the point about female compassion you make should be considered that AS males have a greater chance of finding compasionate partner who will support/help them. Einstein had a good supportive wife, so did John Nash etc

Thanks for the stimulating post anyway, I hope I don't come across confromtational, I just put my opinions.
all the best
beetle

a good looking girl will be popular no matter what, she doesnt have to say or do much, guys want a piece of her, girls admire her for her beauty.

So a good looking aspie girl has it easiest of all aspie types.

Maybe it would be better to say, "has less difficulty."

I don't think it'd be any harder, nor easier, just different. It may be easier for a female to start a relationship with a "normal" individual who approaches them, but this will be offset by a greater propensity to be used/abused by less than honorable people (which is far worst than not being able to start relationships at all in my opinion).

I wouldn't discount the venom of all humans; verbal bullying was far worst than physical in my experience, after all, I can respond to physical violence, it's hard to respond to verbal abuse when one doesn't know how to (see: social impairment). Bruises heal, words swim around and fester.

I will agree that "homemaker" is a perfect job for someone with autism, but it's a stereotype to think that females wish to do this.

girls don't admire each others beauty they seek to be the most beautiful and undermine all challengers
I think watching the clips of Heather on ANTM shows what it is like for beautiful AS girl in female society... that was on camera so probably the other girls were being nicer than they would normally as well

Could we not say the exact same for goodlooking AS man?
Women will want to be with him and his peers will admire him for his good looks?
That actually makes more sense to me.

Women will generally freely tell you whether they believe another woman to be attractive. Nobody will read anything into it. Males will generally NEVER state an opinion there. I really doubt males treat such males differently, outside of maybe picking someone that migh be considered better looking as a salesperson.(All else equal)

I guess I don't tink like most men do, but I seriously don't think about whether a man is attractive, etc... As for stating an opinion, I don't even generally do that about women.

I don't think so. I'm pretty goodlooking, but I'm weak on initiative. Besides, it seems to me that most women want a man who's "smart & funny." At least that's what they say.

Urgh, this question is so stupid, it seems to be a commonly held belief that any situation is easier for women. No it's sodding not! I am sure I read somewhere that women do in fact suffer more because of their Asperger's than men do, after a certain point, you just get left behind, everyone thinks you're weird if you're still the same with the same level of experience at 26 as you were at 16. Women don't like women that don't conform, and you only meet guys if you can actually go out, trust me, it can be pretty damn lonely when you are shy, reserved and socially anxious.
I can't even manage sitting on a bar stool truth be told, I luckily met my lovely BF online via IRC, othewise I have no doubt I'd still be alone. There are expectations that society and other people place on women, even my own mother used to spout stereotypical rubbish at me, it's unfortunate but true, men can get away with being eccentric better than women can, you ever hear of the mad female professor, you ever hear the word eccentric in reference to a woman?
I'm sorry but I think you'll also find that both sexes will get bullied for their differences, the nice thing is that girls can use oh so subtle techniques that guys couldn't even dream of on each other.
I imagine that it can be just as difficult for men as women, however personally, my brothers who both exhibit AS tendencies are doing much better than I am, and both are younger than me, heck maybe some of us will just always struggle, I don't know, but I do know that women don't find this stuff any easier.

Bugs :/

I'm of the opinion that a larger number of women aspies are undiagnosed compared to male aspies anyway, so whatever we think we "know" about aspie women is probably not very accurate. Why do I think that? Because girls don't tend to cause physical trouble so much, so schools don't identify their behaviour as "a problem that needs intervention", and they never get put in front of the psychologists. Or when they do, because many people think the whole autistic spectrum is a "male brain" thing, they perhaps get misdiagnosed with something else entirely - OCD, anorexia, anxiety, social phobia, in other words a symptom of the underlying distress rather than being aspie. I know that when I've flagged up the standard aspie self-diagnosis tests, a lot of women have taken them and said "hey, I'm scoring really high on this - but my doc said I have (one of the things I've already mentioned here).

Girls with AS will, in theory, have earlier stages of life in society as easier than guys with AS.
The theory doesn't really work though.
Since AS is a developmental disorder, I doubt the later stages of life count for as much.
As for why the theory doesn't work out...
I once read one of Tony Attwood's articles that mentioned that girls with AS would theoretically have a bit easier of a time in making friends than guys with AS since their peers (other girls) tend to be nicer and more friendly. In reality, many aspie guys (including me), as children, ignore the social rule that says that guys play with guys only and girls play with girls only and will form friendships with girls. Even now, I tend to feel more comfortable speaking with girls than with other guys.
I agree with faithfilly's comment that women tend to be perfectly capable of dealing a lot of torture.
Relationships with guys will tend to simply either not exist or be emnity.
Relationships with girls will tend to begin well and then become emnity after a single mistake.
I can speak from personal experience that the latter feels so much worse and isolates even more than the former.
As far as dating goes, I've never really concerned myself with it, because I'm not at all interested in sex. Although, I still feel pressure from my family to marry. (My mother is giving me seven years to give her grandchildren.)
As far as getting a job as opposed to raising the children at home, I'm not that far in my life yet, so I can't really say. I do agree with danielismyname on his comment that not all girls want to be homemakers.

oops I didn't mean that I was just implying "you guys" like ppl on wrong planet didn't mean it to be just directed to only the guys

sorry if I used an stereotypes to imply things that aren't true I was just going off my own experiences at school and jobs, etc not really generalizations just my own stuff cuz ive went to boarding school and stuff an some of the stuff that happened in the dorms were pretty awful to other guys but and in school I just never really saw a lot of insults thrown at girls compared to guys and that is very public area