The NT Perspective

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I also find sarcasm to be the wittiest form of humour, and appreciate it, but, in my book, there are two kinds:

a) intended to offend and b) intended to be witty

Sometimes people don't really know which type you're intending, and are left a little paranoid as a result. I tend to get overly sarcastic and unwittingly and unwillingly offend people, sometimes. Othertimes it's intended to get people off my back. It's just something you have to be careful with, unless you know that person you're talking to get that you're not being offensive, if that's the case. Especially with people who might not be able to detect it that well. Just my two cents.

Sometimes I think ichbinil2.

I am greatly offended by swearing, and slang.....I do not get it, do not need to hear it.......

How to treat me? Simple: don't get all angry when I favor the truth instead of giving you the lies you like to hear, don't "beenbusy" me when you've had better company, work together with me for the erradication of politics in work-place and family, stop supporting the pecking order by sucking up to those you need and abusing those who need you, stop belittling anyone who is different from what you were told is "good" and "acceptable" and "nice" and "should" and "appropriate". As I said, simple really.

I think its also because i've had a lot of bad experience with people using it to be rude for me - starting at school where everyone was teasing me and I couldn't even detect it for ages, and now its things like a guy who wants to dump me but is to cowardly to say it using sarcasm. (I didn't get it. I kept asking him questions trying to understand, which just solicited ever more sarcastic responses until I finally twigged).

But that's a purely personal thing, not an Aspie thing. let's not turn this thread into a "how to treat me? I like sugar in my coffee."

But yeah, I find a lot of swearing needless.

"Twigged?" Is that liked "snapped?"

Original meaning is something like getting it finally, understanding the situation at last, but I don't know whether there's maybe another meaning to it.

Another: don't imply things. If you want to say something, say it. From my experience, when people keep implying different things and keep changing their story, I end up seeing a herd of horned horses.

Phagocyte passes without notice in this crowd. It is most likely his behavior, he acts human.

You have a problem, and you should not. The human race is Autistic, more or less. You are.

Until it reaches the level of clinical impairment, it does not exist, clinical impairment is defined by NT behavior towards us.

What would cause depression and witdrawal in one, would cause nothing in another.

In another, it would cause them to join the Marines, and become a Drill Instructer, for they are classic Aspie. Fixed black and white thinking, an assurance they are right, and deeply involved in ritual and repetition. They even wear the same clothes all the time. They are often seen as rude.

Others yet, who are highly gifted with Autism, are not at all impaired, impairment is measured by NT values, and some do not have to put up with the talk of the common folk. Many who exceed all the pschobabble criteria, are called Doctor, Professor, or Boss.

The thought patterns of Autism are needed in Corporate Management. Group thinkers, those who's tribal identity is strong, do not rise. It is not just business, but also the Arts and Sciences, creation and discovery are not herd values.

In every field I have studied, the leading thinkers come around to my thought patterns.

I am 61, write books, hold patents, run my own business, and have never fit in. I only learned of this site in the last year.

I have always seen myself as an intelligent person, well read, with strong interests, that I will work on for years to perfect.

I am now coming to understand that from the NT point of view I am deranged, defective, and am in need of someone with half my years, intelligence, less than 5% of my reading, who is an employee, who took a Freshman Psych class, to tell me how wrong I am.

I am not a person with Aspergers, nor do I have Aspergers, here I fit between HFA and LFA.

If you have met one Aspie, you have met one. Aspies are like snowflakes, no two alike. I can see the NT mind at work, trying to put them all in the same box. They will never fit.

What you should understand is there is a box you fit in. Your perceptions have limits, walls.

I do realize that I do not follow social conventions, to worry about being seen as rude infers that I would care what the world thinks. I do not have the time or inclination.

I have never felt a part of the herd, and they have done their part to show they think the same.

No one would agree that everyone should accept your religion, politics, or opinions. Yet when it comes to the range of the human mind, that which does not fit in your box is wrong, a delusion, and is supported by NT rants about how everything they cannot see does not exist. Worse, it is labeled, and none of the labels are complimentry.

An example of our differance. I invented, patented, protoyped, and manufactured a product. The most common reaction I got was I was lying, I could not do that. That did not fit in their box. The second most common was all inventors are crazy and if I did not share with them I could have an accident. That is in their box.

The NT motto, "You can't do that, they won"t let you!"

What I would like to know is who are the "They" of NT boxes?

Is it just a fear of everything outside their box, or do they really believe in "They"?

Everyone has talents and limits. Your's and mine are not the same. My view of you is with time, effort, education, reflection, you will grow into the best person you can be. The NT world sees me as something defective, that should be treated, cured, controlled, and best exterminated.

My highly gifted talents are now called splinter skills, like Rainman.

Now NTs are forming Aspergers' Associations? What qualifications do you have? By it's nature it is invisable to you. It is outside your box.

Perhaps I should start a Feminists' Association?

Maybe it's just "I am Ilya".


I think there's a difference between sarcasm, which can be cruel, and sardonic humour, and just 'wit'. I always enjoyed being around people who could make jokes.

Sometimes you might offend, other times you might cause confusion and annoyance, etc but there is no reason to assume you will do any of these so long as you are conscientious about it.

If in doubt ask. If the person seems upset you might ask them what wrong, but if they don't respond I suggest giving them a bit of space, like a time out. Reason being is that you can get a build up of stress and sensory issues and it isn't necessary one thing. You might be stoking the fire if you continue bombarding with talk how ever well intended it is. Some have an auditory processing disorder where they wouldn’t be able to make out what you’re saying the whole time. It they feel irritated, agitated, confused, etc just give them a little break.

One of the main things is people with ASD can be self conscious about appearing weird or offending people. Also I don't like people who get hung up on my mistakes. So if you are fairly tolerant and open minded it should help.

Routines - Many of us have routines. Often they are fairly harmless but can cause annoyance when they are interrupted.

Not only can we have a sense of humour, it is often quite abstract but sometimes we can get confused with context.

A lot of us have endured a lot of ridicule. Example: There was a older co-worker a the uni placement the I did. He liked to play pranks on me. They had requisition forms for getting parts from the tool shop. He sent me there with one. It said 'long weight' as in long wait . I was not amused, especially as I was having a pretty hard time with that environment anyway.

Having said that I offended a PA, when I was there. Again it was a mixture of not getting the 'appropriate' tone and an impulse I have to do dumb things sometimes. The PA was joking and chatting informally with my co-workers after work, I was working on something. She mentioned she had got a paper cut a showed a bleeding finger.

They acted all grossed out. Then she said, 'Relax I haven't got da AIDS!' and waived it a round.

Without thinking I blurted out 'No, but you got da Gonorrhea!'

I didn't mean to say it so loud but this stuff happens. I didn't think she would make such an issue out of because of the context that she had been talking about AIDS. I was wrong. She complained to the boss. Apparently that is sexual harassment. I was lectured on my lack of social skills and I just sat there like a mug and nodded. Obviously her reputation was more important then tens of millions of AIDS victims, she couldn’t do humour on the same level. Then the boss said something that astounded me, especially after all the PC stuff. He said 'It is ok to say stuff like that in front of the lads but don't say it in front of a lady'. I would have like to quote him on that at a tribunal lol.

I told this story to my shrink and other people most people say she overreacted. Maybe the inflection could have been better.

I don't like to make a point of offending people, but I rather not patronise people regardless of sex or anything for that mater. I try to talk and treat people like they are human beings.

Thank you for making the effort to try and relate better. Its awesome. And maybe yell him the same thing I tell my NT friends, " if something I say or do ever comes off as rude or offensive, I'm really sorry, I don't mean it that way. If I get upset about something, ill tell you what it is and explain the problem, so you know exactly what's wrong, not have to guess.". That way if something at some pupby confuses him weather or not you were being rude. He will hce you the benudit of the doubt. And tell him its ok to ask you what you ment by something if he gets confused.

Yes it is indeed "I am Ilya."

I'm Russian by birth and learned German in college. So that's why. Way to figure it out

Thanks for the good responses everyone.

How hypocritical to rail against putting people with Asperger's in a predefined box, and then with a single sentence, doing exactly the same thing for others.

How do you know what the "NT" point of view is? Is there a single point of view about Asperger's espoused by all those who are "neurotypical"?

I am trying to use this forum to understand some things better and am met with hostility for that. How sad.

Forums tend to attract some hostile people. There is always the possibility on an Aperger's forum that the hostility might be poorly worded ineptness.... not in every case, unfortunately. We tend to be a fairly hyperlexic crowd, and many are defensive from years of NT attacks. Please understand, those attacks weren't as NT's vs Aspie's... usually as (insert your high school sports team here) vs. geeks, etc. It leaves scars. We do tend to be quite biting to each other as well, from time to time. I'm sure I've offended people posting here on various topics. Sometimes that was unintentional....

If it can reassure you... It's not just NTs who have this problem. I'm Aspie, and I often find myself inadvertently offending or upsetting other Aspies.

I think the bottom line is this: Aspies are all so different from each other that you can never guess what is going to offend or upset them. Don't blame yourself if it happens. Even after knowing the person well, it can be very difficult to know what is going to upset them.