The little things NTs take for granted!?

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Age1600
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06 Jan 2008, 3:05 am

Do you ever notice that NTs take the little things for granted? I know I do, I mean for example if i'm off my feet for more then 3 days, after those 3 days I literally have to teach myself how to walk properly again. If I don't do things repetitively I literally have to relearn them. Eating is extremely hard for me, yes that sounds weird, but I choke, i can't chew properly, and I end up not wanting to eat. I usually survive or get by on shakes. Sleeping, ugh I don't think I ever had more then 6 a hours of sleep, and lately I may get maybe 2 hours a night. The littlest noises, the littlest lights, if my nose is stuffy, if i have anxiety, if my sensory isn't soothed, anything actually, i'm up allll night. I would love to sleep during the day, but to everybody else its wrong, so i force myself to stay awake to try to live a normal life, but end up being ten times more stressed. I need to stim, even if its vocal stims like randomly saying words like boat over and over again, but I get yelled at for making too much random noise, or if i'm giggling, spinning, jumping up and down, its embarrassing and inappropriate to everybody else.

Ok i'm getting off topic, anyways the little things like doing your own hair, can't do, like riding a bike. can't do, like running errands, can't do, like walking and talking, yes still have problems with that, idk y, my brain is like huh which one should i do hmm, and why its thinking i'm over here suffering haha and so much more. I just hate how so many NTs never look at what they have, or can do, like I have to work extra hard just to keep a conversation, just to be able to eat without making a mess, which never happens, just be able to live a normal life. What also gets me is that so many NTs also miss the beauty in life, like the colors outside, like the trees, the plants, the different types of wood put together, the ripples of water, the beautiful cloud formations they make, how every room you walk in makes their own certian pattern, how different colors make up different images, how some lights can make such beautiful patterns as well, how the grass grows underneath our feet so slow, or how everybody has the own distinct walk, or how it feels to just be able happy over literally nothing. It boggles me sometimes, how much NTs take for granted. Does anybody know what I mean?


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Who_Am_I
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06 Jan 2008, 3:40 am

Yes, I know what you mean. I look at NTs, and think... ok, so you can do x, but not y? Weird. And you notice these tiny little subtle social cues, but you miss all the little patterns that I see?
On the other hand, I know that the NTs who know me (well enough to have had some insight into my mind) are thinking very similar things about me and my perceptions and ways of functioning.


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Wilco
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06 Jan 2008, 4:21 am

your brain works like this:

When you see a picture, you remember some things, and you forget some things. only the important things remain. There was a test once,that showed a flashing picture of a chopper. (so it was dark, picture, dark, picture) but the shadow of the chopper dissapeard every picture, then came back the next. dissapeard, came back, dissapeard, came back. nobody noticed this because the shadow wasn't stored in your memory. this and many other tests proof that you dont remember everything.

Now let's say an Aspie and an NT see this:a room, they would remember different things. im not gonna describe a whole room so let's say every number represent something in the room. the room is: 04756
The NT remembers: 0 7 6
The Aspie remembers: 04 6

now in some situations, you are forced to see 0 7 6, and this can be very hard. because you ARE trying. NTs think you only see 0 6. that you arent trying to look. they are so wrong XD



ion
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06 Jan 2008, 6:31 am

I have noticed that I and other people notice different things.
I don't have much of a reality filter as many people have, so I see everything, which is a source of tiredness for me.
I guess some of you recognize this.
I have been trying to learn not only to see both 0,4, 6 and also 7, but to be able to see 0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9.
I even see fairies sometimes, but they're fast little buggers and I only catch a glimpse of them out of the corner of my eyes.
But I'm glad (or sad, depending on perspective) to say that I'm not nearly as handicapped as Age1600 seems to be.
I can walk and talk at the same time, I don't stim and I can actually emulate NT behavior to a degree that they find mostly acceptable.
I can't understand how you could forget how to walk, for example. That it totally alien to me.
But I guess it's possible...


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Danielismyname
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06 Jan 2008, 7:41 am

Ha, I stay up nearly all-night, every night; I sleep in the morning till lunch.

It sounds like people around you should be more understanding and accepting of your repetitive behaviors.

To me, people take talking for granted (see: simple communication); I see people strike up conversations with an assistant, a person they don't know. It's amazing. I'm next in queue and I use my fingers for numbers and/or to point out what I want; at the moment, I can barely talk in a mechanical setting, let alone social. I don't want to be social, but it'd be cool to get my point across verbally in a mechanical setting.

People take being able to stand in the presence of others for granted; I can barely function when I stand next to someone I'm not comfortable with (I'm comfortable with two people).

Going to the movies to watch a movie you're looking forward to.

Reading something that's not related to one's special interest.



postpaleo
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06 Jan 2008, 7:44 am

Yes and a very good point to bring up. It happens all the time, ALL the time. One of the reasons I'm as reclusive as I am. I get tired of trying to explain it or getting put or finding myself in these situations, but... just knowing I'm aspie now, helps big time. I can explain it better and that is in no small part just due to finding WP. For the most part I don't explain it and couldn't to most, but for my wife and myself and a few others that even care..I can explain it to them better. Just because all of a sudden my life makes sense and I have new words and ways of describing it that they can understand or as much as anybody can that hasn't lived it. I can explain in better detail what is going on inside to do the simple things, at most given moments, but in the thick of a moment not always can I do it. That gets better just because the wife knows something is going on inside that she might not see.


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06 Jan 2008, 7:58 am

NTs most certainly take the fact that they know how to act in public, and almost always know what to say without being "rude" for granted.


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06 Jan 2008, 8:42 am

Yes,little things like talking or walking ! It amazes me how people can effortlessly
hold conversations about their private feelings and relationships,without seeming to pause
for thought. I find even walking in public takes concentration.I walk about in the house
without a second thought but as soon as I step out the door I become conscious of every step.

On the flip side,I think my self-consciousness makes me more thankful about things that others take for granted.For example,I probably appreciate possessions,electricity supplies etc more because I'm conscious that others have had to work to provide these things.


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2ukenkerl
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06 Jan 2008, 9:33 am

Age1600,

I used to have some odd behaviour that also seems AS related. Some here implied that also. Correlating that with yours:

I had, and to some degree still do, have a GREAT long term memory.

I didn't sleep much (7.5 was the norm later, but earlier maybe 4.5 MAX) but I was never tired after sleep, and had to force myself to sleep.

I guess the others aren't ones anyone really talked about at length, so I won't go on there.

What happens if you DON'T stim at night?

One think you might consider is trying to get some real food, or make sure the shakes are nutritionally complete. That COULD be a good part of your problem, and explain everything. Even a lot of "meal replacement" shakes aren't complete given current knowledge.

As for walking? If you forget how, what do you do instead? Why? I ask because I HAVE gone without really walking for over a month, and the muscles can atrophy which can REALLY hurt, and change your way of walking.

That was about 35 years ago, and I STILL remember that 10 minute span as if it just happened. I was young, and the doctor said to be careful when I started walking, the ball of my foot went on the floor and before my heel was even 1" above it, it BURNED! It usually takes weeks to months of inactivity to do that but, if you don't walk much and don't get enough protien, it COULD happen in a few days.

The mental stuff can also be explained, in part by nutrition. The idea of multitasking is apparently a tossup for AS people. I know I wasn't as good very early on. You should try to push yourself. The brain really is like a muscle. In fact, BOTH use a lot of glutamine/oxygen, and require use. Anyway, the secret little fact(that is starting to be exposed) is that most NTs really aren't all that great EITHER!

They are passing laws against multitasking of nearly any obvious sort in the US while driving. They are EVEN talking about TALKING being a major contributor.

As for eating without making a mess? I USED to be a perfectionist and a kind of neat freak. I eat a little differently. It is subtle, but I eat the cleanest part of the food. For a barbeque sandwich, I eat from the dryest side, and try to get rid of excess sauce. I eat over the plate, and try not to touch the food with my lips. I try to lean over the plate, , tend to use napkins a lot, etc... If I ate normally, maybe I would be as bad as you. Still, if you drink shakes, and they aren't too thick, a straw could work. They even make BIG straws if the shakes ARE kind of thick.

As for NTs not appreciating the beauty, some DO to a degree when they are very content. But you know, they nearly ALL wish for heaven. We COULD have a utopian society *****NOW***** and THIS could be EDEN! ALL it would take is for people to be altruistic!

That would mean there would be LESS work to do! THINK about it! Nearly NO weapons! NO war! Fewer needed hospitals! Schools could teach less, but REALLY teach the right stuff. Etc.... There would even be less DISEASE because people would be encouraged to stay home if sick, etc... A LOT could be done by machine, and everyone could chip in to do the rest. They alude to such a society at times on star trek. We could have it TODAY!! !! !

Just ONE little problem! This stupid affliction that everyone passes off as "human nature". Basically, they say it is impossible because it is impossible. It is NOT human nature. There ARE some altruistic people around. I used to be the epitome of it.



Age1600
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06 Jan 2008, 9:52 am

Hey, wow thanks for everybodys replies. I had a rough night last night, my family really doesn't ever understand me or accept me, and today marks the day that 8years ago, my 19 and half year old brother was killed, so i'm alittle out of it.

As for eating, and stuff, i still very much eat, i force myself so i stay healthy, even have vitamins and herbals everyday. I also do exercise, and as far as sleep, never had to do with anything besides the fact, that everything keeps me awake. Even my autism specialist says i get worn out easier during the day due to sensory, even when i was an infant, didn't sleep, it sucked.

Anyways yes, if i miss certian things my mind has to relearn them, like i go ice skate, every year i took lessons, and every year i had to relearn, now i can barely stand on ice. I know my brain has all those things stored away, but she never goes back into that storage to get it out haha, she just leaves me sitting there like huh? what? and very confused.

This post was mostly a rant, i do apologize for that, i just hate how i get so many NTs complaining to me that its hard to do this or do that, and its hard for me even breathe, or get up, because all i want to do is sleep, and stim and be in my own world. No I can't stim mostly around my house, my brother gets totally embarrassed by me, and always asks me "what is wrong with you?" while i'm sitting there like what? nothing, i can;t be happy. My mother will yell at me for everything i do, and it sucks, i can't ever be me, which puts soooo much stress on me all the time. It drives me nuts how some NTs have it so easy and yet complain sooo much. I rarely complain, just go with the flow, because i know life is hard, but i rather just keep it to myself rather then to the world to pity me. I don't need pity, i need acceptance!


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06 Jan 2008, 10:34 am

I don't have a driver's license, but I'm going to work on it.

Although I dress nicely, I don't have a highly developed fashion sense. I need to learn to vary my outfits rather than sticking to the same ones.



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06 Jan 2008, 1:49 pm

I feel like too many people act as If I should have this magical ability to read what's going on in their heads, it's frigging maddening.

Also, some people ignorantly think I have hearing problems because I often don't consciously "register" what somebody is saying if I'm not paying attention to that person, and thus I need to ask the person to repeat what he or she said.


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06 Jan 2008, 5:17 pm

Odin wrote:

Quote:
I feel like too many people act as If I should have this magical ability to read what's going on in their heads, it's frigging maddening.

Also, some people ignorantly think I have hearing problems because I often don't consciously "register" what somebody is saying if I'm not paying attention to that person, and thus I need to ask the person to repeat what he or she said.


Trying to explain my son's before they were properly recognized at school as having Asperger's... the aide's and teacher's would be furious, because the boys "were ignoring them". They'd repeat over and over again, "I KNOW he can hear me". Oh really?? Is he LOOKING at you? "NO!! That's the problem he WON'T look when I call him." I finally started telling them, "he's not hard of hearing, he's hard of listening..."

Growing up it always seemed to me the "normal" kids took it for granted EVERYBODY could run and catch a ball... not being able to do so was "weird". They couldn't comprehend my viewpoint that being unable to read at the college level at age 8 was weird... and stupid.


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Odin
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06 Jan 2008, 7:21 pm

AspieDave wrote:
Odin wrote:

Quote:
I feel like too many people act as If I should have this magical ability to read what's going on in their heads, it's frigging maddening.

Also, some people ignorantly think I have hearing problems because I often don't consciously "register" what somebody is saying if I'm not paying attention to that person, and thus I need to ask the person to repeat what he or she said.


Trying to explain my son's before they were properly recognized at school as having Asperger's... the aide's and teacher's would be furious, because the boys "were ignoring them". They'd repeat over and over again, "I KNOW he can hear me". Oh really?? Is he LOOKING at you? "NO!! That's the problem he WON'T look when I call him." I finally started telling them, "he's not hard of hearing, he's hard of listening..."

Growing up it always seemed to me the "normal" kids took it for granted EVERYBODY could run and catch a ball... not being able to do so was "weird". They couldn't comprehend my viewpoint that being unable to read at the college level at age 8 was weird... and stupid.


nearly all people, and unfortunately still too many shrinks, assume intellectual difficulties (mental retardation), mental disorders like Schizophrenia, and sensory disabilities (like hearing loss) and rarely ask if there might be neurologically-based perceptual issues.


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06 Jan 2008, 9:33 pm

My heart goes out to you and your family on this day.

I have similar problems, but not as extreme. Walking dosen't feel natural unless i'm day dreaming. Feels like I have to concentrate really hard to make sure I walk properly! Everytime i've gone back to play tennis after a couple of weeks lay off, I can hardly hit the ball, its embarrassing! Its starting to come back to me now though :)

I don't pity you, I accept you :P I think you have a great sense of humour and you're cool 8)



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06 Jan 2008, 9:42 pm

I think they probably take their social skills for granted. I'd like to trade them my lack of social skills and then see how they do.


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