The little things NTs take for granted!?

Page 2 of 3 [ 35 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3  Next

ghostgurl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Nov 2006
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,557
Location: Orange County, CA

06 Jan 2008, 9:42 pm

I think they probably take their social skills for granted. I'd like to trade them my lack of social skills and then see how they do.


_________________
Currently Reading: Survival by Juliet E. Czerneda
http://dazed-girl.livejournal.com/
Vote Kalister 2008


2ukenkerl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jul 2007
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,966

06 Jan 2008, 11:02 pm

AspieDave wrote:
Growing up it always seemed to me the "normal" kids took it for granted EVERYBODY could run and catch a ball... not being able to do so was "weird". They couldn't comprehend my viewpoint that being unable to read at the college level at age 8 was weird... and stupid.


WOW, STORY OF MY LIFE!! !! !!



mom2bax
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 11 Oct 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 254
Location: Winnipeg, Manitoba

07 Jan 2008, 12:22 am

thanks for this thread, as an Nt mom of an AS boy this sure helps me to understand what may be going on in his head better. And maybe remind me to slow down and stop to see the beauty in the world a little more, but i usually have to catch up to my kids LOL!
it often seems like many NT's take things for granted untill they are taken away from them or someone else.
thanks for the reality check.



lastcrazyhorn
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Oct 2007
Age: 35
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,220
Location: Texas

07 Jan 2008, 1:53 am

My mom and I are looking at Temple Grandin's "Thinking in Pictures," right? And my mom points to the foreword and says, look!

And I'm like, yeah???

And she says, it's Oliver Sacks!

I look at her blankly.

She says: Come on! I gave you a book for Christmas written by him.

Really? I say, perplexed.

Yes, she says.

(The light comes on)

Oh, you mean the orange one?

She answers: I don't know what color it is! Why do you have to make things so difficult?

*headdesk*


_________________
"I am to misbehave" - Mal

BATMAN: I'll do everything I can to rehabilitate you.
CATWOMAN: Marry me.
BATMAN: Everything except that.

http://lastcrazyhorn.wordpress.com - "Odd One Out: Reality with a refreshing slice of aspie"


Irulan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 May 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,024
Location: Poland

07 Jan 2008, 4:36 pm

2ukenkerl wrote:
AspieDave wrote:
Growing up it always seemed to me the "normal" kids took it for granted EVERYBODY could run and catch a ball... not being able to do so was "weird". They couldn't comprehend my viewpoint that being unable to read at the college level at age 8 was weird... and stupid.


WOW, STORY OF MY LIFE!! !! !!


It looks that we can shake hands with each other :? I could read not worse than adult person when I started attending kindergarten (only I and two other kids, the twins were able to do it then - wow, what an extraordinarily "difficult" thing it was :? ) Even when I was to graduate from elementary school at the age of 15 (now Polish students graduate it two years earlier because of the reform of education) others used to look at me as at a freak because of my ability to read very fast (I think I would be able to read even up to 7 book daily if I had time and said books would be rather thin).

On the other hand I was HOPELESS during our P.E. lessons and at that time I was unable to comprehend how it's possible that in contrast to my peers I was such a sport cripple :?



MusicMaker1
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 9 Dec 2007
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 154

07 Jan 2008, 5:44 pm

Someone once told me that the ability to appreciate nature and love nature is a GIFT. You have that, I have that -- that's something alot of NTs don't have : )

Speaking of eating without making a mess, I realize that I hardly ever buy light-colored clothing.. Invariably, the day I wear something white, I have to end up eating somewhere in it... and sure enough, it's ruined. I can't tell you how many white t-shirts and other light-colored clothing I've only worn once.. I actually buy most all my clothes at Goodwill because of this.. I don't think it's that obvious to people, just little drops here and there if I eat.. they don't seem to notice or point them out.. it's when I get home that I notice the stains on the new shirt already.. and kick myself.

I guess I wish I could remember names and faces better and recognize a potential enemy before they try to use me or emotionally damage me.. I'm sure NTs take that for granted.

My hand-writing is horrible, but that's a minor problem compared to not being able to understand people's conversations -- the "witty" people and their inuendos. Nonverbal communication and body language I seem to be almost blind to...

I guess an NT doesn't have to think about this stuff, it just comes natural to them.. they communicate well with each other anyway... and don't have to worry about wearing white and eating spaghetti at the same time? hmmm.. I imagine even they spill stuff on themselves HA!

Being able to work to your true potential in a career... the American dream... not true for me..

For the NTs, they know if they work hard enough at socializing, they can become an expert at it.

There's just so many things really.. but as you say, the beauty of nature is something alot of people miss out on.. For me, I love nature and I have the beauty of music -- I love music so much, it is a gift too... Someone told me once that God made us the way we are for a reason... I just need to appreciate that more I guess... We are the unseen minority -- more so than any ethnic group.. Because the NTs don't see our disability alot of the times, they tend to be harsh on top of it! Talk about stress, right!?! We have to preservere (sp?) beyond all of this and I think that gives us more strength of character.. even though most NTs don't see it.. They are blind to our struggles.. usually...



Brooks
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 1 Nov 2007
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 153
Location: Alabama

07 Jan 2008, 6:14 pm

MusicMaker1 wrote:
Speaking of eating without making a mess, I realize that I hardly ever buy light-colored clothing.. Invariably, the day I wear something white, I have to end up eating somewhere in it... and sure enough, it's ruined. I can't tell you how many white t-shirts and other light-colored clothing I've only worn once.. I actually buy most all my clothes at Goodwill because of this.. I don't think it's that obvious to people, just little drops here and there if I eat.. they don't seem to notice or point them out.. it's when I get home that I notice the stains on the new shirt already.. and kick myself.



A tip on how to get a lot of those stains out, especially those oily ones. I use Goo Gone gel spray . It works very well with most stains. On some very stubborn ones, I might have to do it twice, but they usually come out.


_________________
And the world is queer
And the human is strangest of all


2ukenkerl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jul 2007
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,966

07 Jan 2008, 6:20 pm

Irulan wrote:
2ukenkerl wrote:
AspieDave wrote:
Growing up it always seemed to me the "normal" kids took it for granted EVERYBODY could run and catch a ball... not being able to do so was "weird". They couldn't comprehend my viewpoint that being unable to read at the college level at age 8 was weird... and stupid.


WOW, STORY OF MY LIFE!! !! !!


It looks that we can shake hands with each other :? I could read not worse than adult person when I started attending kindergarten (only I and two other kids, the twins were able to do it then - wow, what an extraordinarily "difficult" thing it was :? ) Even when I was to graduate from elementary school at the age of 15 (now Polish students graduate it two years earlier because of the reform of education) others used to look at me as at a freak because of my ability to read very fast (I think I would be able to read even up to 7 book daily if I had time and said books would be rather thin).

On the other hand I was HOPELESS during our P.E. lessons and at that time I was unable to comprehend how it's possible that in contrast to my peers I was such a sport cripple :?


Tell me about it! When I doubt I have AS, etc... I just look at things like this, and think WOW, WE could be twins!



twoshots
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Nov 2007
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,229
Location: Boötes void

07 Jan 2008, 6:31 pm

Age1600 wrote:
What also gets me is that so many NTs also miss the beauty in life, like the colors outside, like the trees, the plants, the different types of wood put together, the ripples of water, the beautiful cloud formations they make, how every room you walk in makes their own certian pattern, how different colors make up different images, how some lights can make such beautiful patterns as well, how the grass grows underneath our feet so slow, or how everybody has the own distinct walk, or how it feels to just be able happy over literally nothing.


:D

You have an excellent eye for details. I was just thinking that people think I'm weird if I get too caught up in little things like that, but I somehow didn't link this to the way that being NT is to some extent being insensitive to details in general.


_________________
* here for the nachos.


use_your_words
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 9 Dec 2007
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Posts: 126

07 Jan 2008, 10:03 pm

There are several comments about NTs taking the world around them for granted and not noticing a lot of natural beauty, which I agree with. Wherever I am, I'm constantly observing little things around me that I find interesting or beautiful, but when I point them out to others, they look at me funny.

I also agree that social perception is taken for granted (and I am sometimes guilty of this myself.) Recently I've been observing an acquaintance who has AS. I've noticed that whenever he contributes to a conversation, he has to think twice as hard about what he says. I can see him planning it out in his head, and sometimes by the time he says it, that point in the conversation has already passed. It really helped me understand how he has to process the conversation on more levels than most people - something I never really thought about before.



Irulan
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 May 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,024
Location: Poland

08 Jan 2008, 9:42 am

2ukenkerl wrote:
Tell me about it! When I doubt I have AS, etc... I just look at things like this, and think WOW, WE could be twins!


And speaking of ability to read, do you remember at all the time when you're being taught how to read? Of course, I must have been taught this but nothing of this remained in my memory. I could be born with this ability as well as I was born with ability to breathe. I always used to put it down to the fact that I was simply a clever child and in that time nobody said that it might be a symptom of something - I was simply a smart little girl who prefered intellectual forms of amusement to playing with peers; I was always perceived this way by adults.



Age1600
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2007
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,432
Location: New Jersey

08 Jan 2008, 5:48 pm

ghostgurl wrote:
I think they probably take their social skills for granted. I'd like to trade them my lack of social skills and then see how they do.


I would do anything to have the social skills of an NT, the other day we had people over, and i couldnt handle it, i ended up going in my room, until somebody came to get me, and then afterwards, couldn't talk right, started spinning, it was horrible :roll: .


_________________
Being Normal Is Vastly Overrated :wall:


MsBehaviour
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 26 Oct 2007
Age: 46
Gender: Female
Posts: 362
Location: Wellington, New Zealand

08 Jan 2008, 5:51 pm

Remember chica - it's your life and you can stim if you want to. Your sense of fun and vibrant personality shines through in all your conversations here. Try not to let your family frustrate you too much and relax as much as you can. I find everything is much harder to deal with when I'm tense. Sorry to hear about your bro. Big hugs as I'm sure you must miss him.

You're right - some people take almost everything in life for granted as they have never had to struggle for anything. They ignore the simple pleasures of life while they try to buy Happiness. I feel lucky as I know that food tastes better when I'm hungry, clothes feel better when they are old, and that a beautiful view, bandwidth and regular hugs are all that takes me to be happy.

The world is a magical place to me because I take the time out to sit and enjoy it quietly. Most people are too busy rushing around being late for their next heart attack and that's just not for me. I don't want to be old and have no memories because I spent all my time in offices obsessing about what I'm going to buy next. I like the fact that my body works slowly and my brain on triple speed. It means I can bimble through life and still achieve heaps.

Glad you are looking after yourself so well. It's important to see your body as a vehicle that needs certain things to run smoothly, and carry your wonderful creative brain. What helps me is to see food as a balance of nutrients that I need to keep my engine in top condition. I tick off protein, carbs, veggies etc in my head, as I've also struggled with anorexia (absence of appetite) my whole life.

It's not a body image thing for me. I just don't feel hungry when I'm busy or stressed and have never been able to manage 'normal' portions as they are just too big for me. One tip is try not to eat while reading as the act of focusing on words can switch off your sense of appetite. Teaching my husband to cook also helped him heaps as he now has total control over the textures he eats.

I found Yoga and Pilates has really helped me with being in control of my body. I used to be really unsupple (could never touch my toes as a kid) but now I'm as flexible as a Thai, as my masseur friend Siriyada tells me. I love Thai yoga massage as it's the only thing that really relaxes me. I never enjoyed massage before (it has to be deep and hard for me as light massages makes me tense up even more) but after an hour with Siri I almost feel almost human :)


_________________
Dance at Work


2ukenkerl
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jul 2007
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,966

08 Jan 2008, 7:45 pm

Irulan wrote:
2ukenkerl wrote:
Tell me about it! When I doubt I have AS, etc... I just look at things like this, and think WOW, WE could be twins!


And speaking of ability to read, do you remember at all the time when you're being taught how to read? Of course, I must have been taught this but nothing of this remained in my memory. I could be born with this ability as well as I was born with ability to breathe. I always used to put it down to the fact that I was simply a clever child and in that time nobody said that it might be a symptom of something - I was simply a smart little girl who prefered intellectual forms of amusement to playing with peers; I was always perceived this way by adults.


If you said boy instead of girl, you could have been talking about ME! NOPE! I remember that I wanted to read, and asked questions, and read books.

I remember reading books. ALL were above my grade level. HECK, I started reading so young that there wouldn't have been any books at my level. SOME were about highschool level.

If I found a word I didn't know, I would ask my mother. If she wasn't there, I would look up the word. At the time, I was VORACIOUS! I would read EVERY definition, and HOPE I found something I didn't know.

I would look up THOSE words, and do the same.

I actually had fun with it! :D

When I got to school, I was the only person in the class that seemed to almost be speaking extemporaneously. The rest word speak at a pretty slow rate sounding out the words.



Age1600
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2007
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,432
Location: New Jersey

08 Jan 2008, 11:07 pm

MsBehaviour wrote:
Remember chica - it's your life and you can stim if you want to. Your sense of fun and vibrant personality shines through in all your conversations here. Try not to let your family frustrate you too much and relax as much as you can. I find everything is much harder to deal with when I'm tense. Sorry to hear about your bro. Big hugs as I'm sure you must miss him.


Thanks for your nice words, i know what u mean when everything is harder when your tense, i'm always tense!


_________________
Being Normal Is Vastly Overrated :wall: