Brian003
Velociraptor
Joined: 10 Sep 2007
Gender: Male
Posts: 402
Location: University of Michigan Ann Arbor
08 Jan 2008, 8:58 pm
As I've stated before, I'm 35 years old...but I still haven't learned to love myself as a human being. More specifically, I have VERY low self-esteem, even less self-respect, and absolutely NO self-love. Those aspects pretty much died 10 years ago, when I became a porker. I mean, I'm not obese by any means, but I'm thick chested with quite a bit of a potbelly. Because of this, I feel that only adds more negativity to my Asperger's diagnosis; as though it makes people think that all high functioning Aspie's don't care about their appearances, are lazy and slobby.
*sighs* I have a right to be defeatist...do you know what torture it is to be THINKING...ALL THE TIME??! !
errr....okay, I guess maybe you guys do.
But what I mean by thinking, is thinking about all the things in your life that brought you pain and misery; i.e. being picked on as a child just for the 'crime' of being different. Sometimes, those taunting voices echo back to me while I'm laying awake in bed, trying to sleep, to the point that I make myself physically sick to my stomach!I mean, I do have my happy moments, but they only exist to temporarily dull the pain of all the bad things...at least for a little while.
Often times, I think of painting the walls next to me with a new shade of colour called "Hint of Brain", thinking that would make my family happy. But then I decide not to...because why should I make them happy?
...Sorry for all the emoistic, 'poor me' talk, but that just had to be vented out *sniff* If I make it through tonight, I'll write some more here.
Thank you for your tolerance,
Usagi1992
If it really does bother you so much- Then why don't you take steps to lose the weight(And therefore take care of the problem).
I know people who have been overweight for some time know and they always talk about it. They will usually complain about it and the real problem(Through my eyes) is not that they are overweight; it is that they simply don't do anything about it.
It seems like it is harder to find the motivation as you grow older; but motivation is the key to success and you should be the one who wants to lose it(You shouldn't need weight watchers or any other program/diet pill unless you are obese; you should be able to the gym and find your own motivation).
America(I have to assume you live in America) is a society in which physically appearance can be the pinnacle of all things. Even if a man is stupid, uneducated, and illogical he still can be able to get a girlfriend as long as he can use the proper methods of attraction.
09 Jan 2008, 12:30 am
To Gavin...
No, I didn't exclusively go out with her JUST because she was chubby...it was because I felt looking into her soul was like looking into a mirror. And heh, my dad was just like you too; beanpole skinny before being married, and potbelly afterward [though oddly, he's otherwise thin everywhere else, go figure]
and Brian003...
*stands up straight and tall* You're totally right when you say that a huge (no pun intended] majority of overweight people complain, but don't DO anything about it. Well, NO more! I'm gonna change! I'm gonna make steps to haul my kiester around my neighborhood for at least 20 minutes every other day. As long as I have my music to listen to on a CD player, I'm fine...
Well, I'm gonna finally call this thread quits, and let my soul find inner peace. That is, until the next big crisis comes along 
Oh, and Gavin...you can call me Jeffrey if you wish 
09 Jan 2008, 12:33 am
09 Jan 2008, 3:35 pm
10 Jan 2008, 1:29 am
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