Why are Many with AS so passive and unwilling to fight back?

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purplesky
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07 Jan 2008, 11:22 am

It seems they want to be trapped in the victim status. There are three important lessons to learn in life; to be a good fighter, to be melodramatic at the right times, and to be a good liar. These techniques are only to be used if talking will clearly not work.
If someone starts mouthing off towards you, do whatever you can get away with against the perp. If you can get away with physical aggression, do as much damage as possible. The best way to fight would be to go for the vulnerable areas of the body. To be a great fighter you must have wit, strength and stamina. Always stand your ground. If you can get away with, you can"lose" some of the objects he holds dear. If this doesn't go as planned you can report the person to any superiors; exaggerate any complaints you have and produce your own "proof".If you record events in a journal they will automatically take action. Remember, the more innocent you look the more help you will get. Learn how to cry or break down at all of the right moments (ie when it will gain you sympathy) and you will be set for life. Portray him as one of the most vile monsters to walk the earth. The law is not our friend; the law only helps NTs who wish to bully us. It is time to fight the injustice.



lastcrazyhorn
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07 Jan 2008, 11:31 am

I'm not coordinated enough to fight back.

Or strong enough.

Besides, to fight back, I have to get angry. And that takes a lot.

And from what I've seen of the results of when I've been angry, I'd rather never be like that again. I'm lucky I've never been charged with anything.


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purplesky
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07 Jan 2008, 11:37 am

lastcrazyhorn wrote:
I'm not coordinated enough to fight back.

Or strong enough.

Besides, to fight back, I have to get angry. And that takes a lot.

And from what I've seen of the results of when I've been angry, I'd rather never be like that again. I'm lucky I've never been charged with anything.


You can gain strength by lifting weights or through other forms of physical activity. Use non-conventional fighting; when the opponent moves try to trip him or her with a low side-kick. Remember that winning is the only option and do anything it takes to get there.



Last edited by purplesky on 07 Jan 2008, 11:38 am, edited 1 time in total.

anbuend
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07 Jan 2008, 11:38 am

There are other ways to fight back besides violence, exaggeration, and lying.

For instance, a couple years ago the Housing Authority in our area did construction in my building without proper venting. When this had been done before, one tenant who had emphysema but was in no way ready to die, was killed by it. A lot of us had made a fuss, but the only two of us who stuck it out after the Housing Authority started making threats, were, unsurprisingly, two autistic people (me included).

We did not ever have to use violence. What we did was, at one point both of us had to move outside or die basically, and the Housing Authority was refusing to relocate us for the duration of dust in the air, only doing so for the duration of construction on our particular two rooms. So instead of just picking a random location on the streets, we picked living in front of City Hall, and we had signs left over from peaceful protests we'd done in front of our building, so we dragged them along with us (which is hard, we're both physically disabled and were in a lot of pain).

None of this was easy. As I said, we're both physically disabled. My friend can't sleep lying down without a machine. And she can't sit upright all the time or her legs swell up and ulcerate. She had to choose between the two and chose sitting up, hoping we would be done before anything happened. We got a lot of attention to this over the weekend. We got in the newspaper. We got a lot of curious questions by people walking by. We also got laughed at and accused of all manner of crap we weren't doing.

Our signs were about the Housing Authority, but curiously a lot of people talked to us all about the guy who runs it, about how horrible it is that we would ever say anything bad about him, etc. etc. We didn't even say his name. We also got approached by a perv who apparently tells homeless women (and while we weren't technically homeless, our homes weren't livable to people with asthma, there was concrete dust and wallboard dust everywhere) that he can give them a place to stay, and then takes them home and rapes them (we heard this from a formerly-homeless woman who stopped to talk). And of course lots of people involved with us were threatened with eviction, and they came and harassed us too some of them, and then badmouthed us in the newspaper for fear of their own safety. And the mayor just yelled at us the day he came to work and refused to listen to a word we said. Later on, my friend got libeled by some of the people who'd brought her into this to begin with (they suddenly claimed to have nothing to do with it and that she brought them into it, when I saw exactly the opposite -- turned out they were taking advantage of her, something I've seen happen many times before, where people take advantage of the fact that she knows how to do things and then blame her entirely for what they asked her to do, and she always does it anyway because it seems like the right thing).

But, we got enough attention that they suddenly relocated us and then did air quality tests. The air quality tests were of course weeks notified in advance, so they passed, but it also meant they had to do the things to pass, which meant the air quality was better enough to breathe in there. We stayed relocated until they were done with our floor and cleaned up, and the air was in fact truly clean by the time we got there. So we got done most of what we needed done, just by telling the truth and persisting while other people around us were the ones lying, being violent, and being jerks.


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SilverProteus
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07 Jan 2008, 11:41 am

Don't give in to provocations. It's exactly what they want you to do.



sarahstilettos
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07 Jan 2008, 11:41 am

I'm a pacifist. I know this is a very extreme view, but no matter how much someone hurt me I would not view it as being right to fight back, (at least not physically). I have been hit and not hit back.

I LOVE what anbuend says he did in his post though.



lastcrazyhorn
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07 Jan 2008, 11:47 am

purplesky wrote:
lastcrazyhorn wrote:
I'm not coordinated enough to fight back.

Or strong enough.

Besides, to fight back, I have to get angry. And that takes a lot.

And from what I've seen of the results of when I've been angry, I'd rather never be like that again. I'm lucky I've never been charged with anything.


You can gain strength by lifting weights or through other forms of physical activity. Use non-conventional fighting; when the opponent moves try to trip him or her with a low side-kick. Remember that winning is the only option and do anything it takes to get there.


Yeah, I have issues with physical activity. For one thing, if I do it in front of anyone, by the time I'm finished, I'm so suicidal that I have to call up friends and talk for long hours into the night until I can pass out and let my brain reboot.

Number 2 - My spatial sight is so lousy that there's a really good chance that if I try to kick them or something like that, I'll completely miss and then they'll just get really pissed off and break my mouth.


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"I am to misbehave" - Mal

BATMAN: I'll do everything I can to rehabilitate you.
CATWOMAN: Marry me.
BATMAN: Everything except that.

http://lastcrazyhorn.wordpress.com - "Odd One Out: Reality with a refreshing slice of aspie"


purplesky
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07 Jan 2008, 11:53 am

SilverProteus wrote:
Don't give in to provocations. It's exactly what they want you to do.

Actually they would love for us to obey them by not defending ourselves. They get off on abusing the innocent; there is nothing that pisses them off more than running into a person that can use his or her mind, body, and emotions to win a battle. This person has no form of morality; you must understand the objective of the fight is to win at all costs. I don't care if it pisses them off as my objective IS in fact, to piss them off. What they want us to do is to be stereotypical weaklings who don't take what they want in life.



sarahstilettos
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07 Jan 2008, 11:54 am

purplesky wrote:
SilverProteus wrote:
Don't give in to provocations. It's exactly what they want you to do.

Actually they would love for us to obey them by not defending ourselves. They get off on abusing the innocent; there is nothing that pisses them off more than running into a person that can use his or her mind, body, and emotions to win a battle. This person has no form of morality; you must understand the objective of the fight is to win at all costs. I don't care if it pisses them off as my objective IS in fact, to piss them off. What they want us to do is to be stereotypical weaklings who don't take what they want in life.


Who are "they"??? Who are these people you are talking about?



deadeyexx
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07 Jan 2008, 11:58 am

It's a learned characteristic. People with AS tend to be social outcasts, and when fighting back against someone who is not, it never turns out good.

I've always been strong & able to win most fights physically. However, even if you do win, it doesn't make anyone like you better. It just draws attention to you. This leads to more fights until someone eventually beats you & now you've got a whole bunch of people who didn't know who you were before giving you crap like the first person you beat up did.

That was my experience through middle school, and it conditioned me to back down whenever possible. I believe people with AS don't fight back not because they're scared, weak, or wrong, but because it's almost impossible for us to win the battle socially.



purplesky
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07 Jan 2008, 11:58 am

sarahstilettos wrote:
purplesky wrote:
SilverProteus wrote:
Don't give in to provocations. It's exactly what they want you to do.

Actually they would love for us to obey them by not defending ourselves. They get off on abusing the innocent; there is nothing that pisses them off more than running into a person that can use his or her mind, body, and emotions to win a battle. This person has no form of morality; you must understand the objective of the fight is to win at all costs. I don't care if it pisses them off as my objective IS in fact, to piss them off. What they want us to do is to be stereotypical weaklings who don't take what they want in life.


Who are "they"??? Who are these people you are talking about?


"They" include bullies,provocateurs, and assholes of the highest degree. I also include anyone who wants to sabatoge our success. Why should we have to take abuse?



SilverProteus
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07 Jan 2008, 12:00 pm

purplesky wrote:
SilverProteus wrote:
Don't give in to provocations. It's exactly what they want you to do.

Actually they would love for us to obey them by not defending ourselves. They get off on abusing the innocent; there is nothing that pisses them off more than running into a person that can use his or her mind, body, and emotions to win a battle. This person has no form of morality; you must understand the objective of the fight is to win at all costs. I don't care if it pisses them off as my objective IS in fact, to piss them off. What they want us to do is to be stereotypical weaklings who don't take what they want in life.


Well then...that's their problem, not yours.

Have you ever asked yourself why such people feel they have the need to abuse who they perceive as "weaklings"? Can you imagine what their emotional state must be like? Who cares about them? If you give into their provocations and bully them, you'll only be feeding their insatiable egos, not anything else. It's tiring.



purplesky
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07 Jan 2008, 12:03 pm

deadeyexx wrote:
It's a learned characteristic. People with AS tend to be social outcasts, and when fighting back against someone who is not, it never turns out good.

I've always been strong & able to win most fights physically. However, even if you do win, it doesn't make anyone like you better. It just draws attention to you. This leads to more fights until someone eventually beats you & now you've got a whole bunch of people who didn't know who you were before giving you crap like the first person you beat up did.

That was my experience through middle school, and it conditioned me to back down whenever possible. I believe people with AS don't fight back not because they're scared, weak, or wrong, but because it's almost impossible for us to win the battle socially.

I would like to say, I want to congratulate you on proving to the world that no one can push you around. I would also like to say that you don't neccessarily need your peers to believe you are correct; you only need the authorities to believe it. As we Aspies are quite blessed with the ability to imitate; we can be MORE likely to pull it off. Although I am not suggesting it, we CAN get the aggressor in serious trouble if we are great storytellers and can put up a facade of being seriously hurt.



lastcrazyhorn
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07 Jan 2008, 12:09 pm

purplesky wrote:
deadeyexx wrote:
It's a learned characteristic. People with AS tend to be social outcasts, and when fighting back against someone who is not, it never turns out good.

I've always been strong & able to win most fights physically. However, even if you do win, it doesn't make anyone like you better. It just draws attention to you. This leads to more fights until someone eventually beats you & now you've got a whole bunch of people who didn't know who you were before giving you crap like the first person you beat up did.

That was my experience through middle school, and it conditioned me to back down whenever possible. I believe people with AS don't fight back not because they're scared, weak, or wrong, but because it's almost impossible for us to win the battle socially.

I would like to say, I want to congratulate you on proving to the world that no one can push you around. I would also like to say that you don't neccessarily need your peers to believe you are correct; you only need the authorities to believe it. As we Aspies are quite blessed with the ability to imitate; we can be MORE likely to pull it off. Although I am not suggesting it, we CAN get the aggressor in serious trouble if we are great storytellers and can put up a facade of being seriously hurt.


That doesn't work if you're at a school that idolizes the jocks and the preps. I was bleeding one time after a girl attacked me and I still got all the blame.


_________________
"I am to misbehave" - Mal

BATMAN: I'll do everything I can to rehabilitate you.
CATWOMAN: Marry me.
BATMAN: Everything except that.

http://lastcrazyhorn.wordpress.com - "Odd One Out: Reality with a refreshing slice of aspie"


purplesky
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07 Jan 2008, 12:11 pm

SilverProteus wrote:
purplesky wrote:
SilverProteus wrote:
Don't give in to provocations. It's exactly what they want you to do.

Actually they would love for us to obey them by not defending ourselves. They get off on abusing the innocent; there is nothing that pisses them off more than running into a person that can use his or her mind, body, and emotions to win a battle. This person has no form of morality; you must understand the objective of the fight is to win at all costs. I don't care if it pisses them off as my objective IS in fact, to piss them off. What they want us to do is to be stereotypical weaklings who don't take what they want in life.


Well then...that's their problem, not yours.

Have you ever asked yourself why such people feel they have the need to abuse who they perceive as "weaklings"? Can you imagine what their emotional state must be like? Who cares about them? If you give into their provocations and bully them, you'll only be feeding their insatiable egos, not anything else. It's tiring.

Their emotional state does not give them an excuse to be assholes. I am tired of people making bullies exempt from their behavior due to abusive families or alleged mental conditions. It should not be tolerated; those who look the other way are in essence tolerating it. Note that I did not say they are accepting it.