LIES!! !

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I have a pet elephant, two tigers and a partridge in pear tree.

i love nt,s
i cant play eye of the tiger whith bass

I don't have an cat!

OMG!! !! i like love zac efron, hannah montana, the jonas brothers etc!!!111onne!! !

i liek totally like wanna marry drake bell!! !! OMG!! !!

i have tentacles.

rats are like gross...ewww...

i would never ever eat anything like duck feet or frog legs....ewww...

Wheaties don't cause cancer

George Bush is a Lovely and kind human being (Sorry >.<!)

George W. Bush knows where the USA is on an atlas.

I wish I was an Oscar Meyer weiner.

I go to a party at least once a week!

Sometimes I turn into a guinea pig.

It's a little-known fact that everyone with even the slightest touch of autism is wildly popular.

I was born in Exeter.

The train service in the UK is the best in the whole wide world. Yesterday I arrived at
my destination bang on time,I certainly wasn't an hour late.

I was born in an insane asylum in Exeter, to Ralston Lavar Florine and Janina Atrusova. My dad took off and I never heard from him until 14 years later. My mom brought me up poverty-stricken, on the streets of London, Paris, Prague, Budapest, Bucharest, Moscow, Berlin, Hamburg, Frankfurt, Koln, Fussen, Munich, Rome, Florence, Marseilles, Bali, Auckland, Beijing, and Goroka. The only language I really speak is (mediocre) English, and a smattering of all those other languages I learned. I rarely went to school. My mother taught me at home, but not stuff like math. I learned geography naturally, I learned history from the places we went, I learned science from some stuff we had to do to survive, like innovative cooking and breaking into places. But most importantly I learned socialization, and that's why my AS isn't that noticeable. I felt perfectly comfortable around homeless people, druggies, hookers, runaway kids, drunks, and schizophrenics.

*deleted*

Bad day, CL? Wanna talk about it?

As I said, I was born in a mental institution in Exeter, in the men's ward, on the floor of the dayroom, with all the men crowded around and a male nurse and one of the patients, my father, helping with the birth. So there my mother lay, her skirt up and her legs spread, exposed to twenty-five men, one of them tactless enough to drag a chair over so that he could stand on it to see over the heads of the others. The nurses refused to let her lie on the couch because they knew the inmates would be mad if it was stained. The same thing went for the beds, I assume. The floor was wooden, but it was much better and easier to clean. The nurse was going to have her give birth in the morgue, out of sight of everyone, but there were two autopsies going on and the room was tiny and there was no room, and the drawers weren't flat and solid, they were soft, like stretchers, so they reluctantly told my parents that I would be born on the dayroom floor. It was a men's hospital; a new and better unit had opened up at the women's prison, so my mother wasn't a patient; she was visiting him and then her water broke.

it became necessary to flee Her Majesty's Merchant Navy after the disasterous results which unfolded very quickly after an unfortunate flick of a rubber band in a seedy portside tavern in Malaysia. after a few adventures (which i might relate at another time) i ended up in darkest Brazil, where i sought fame and fortune as a sorceror, after the indigenous traditions. a twenty foot high statue of me still stands in the center of Melquiades da Cruz, commemorating the time i saved the village from an invading army of fire ants armed only with a half-empty spray bottle of glass cleaner and a plastic spoon.

I am ret*d
I bang my head
I'm mute
I have no opinions of my own
I have a wet nurse come visit me, three times a day
I eat my own snot, and the greener, the better
I live in Broadmore
I eat my own s**t