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riverotter
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10 Jan 2008, 12:05 am

I honestly have no idea how to make friends. I had some awhile back, people I knew from school when people were just naturally more around going to classes or whatever. They all moved away now and I could not figure out how people do it. Like do you just meet someone in a store? Or where? How do you move from "co-workers" to "friends" (especially when one's co-workers never want to see or talk to you outside of work)?
Anyway I posted the Craigslist ad that I blogged about, and I think I actually made a real-life friend out of it!! I made a folder in my email inbox for him (because I never delete emails; I am an email hoarder) and it has fifty-four emails- real emails- from him in it. He cheers me up. He listens to me. He tells me his troubles too. He makes me laugh. I make him laugh!! We got together (in a public place and we were both pretty nervous) and talked for five (that's right)hours, and made definite future plans. Yes!! !! ! It seems impossible, yet it is true.



tinky
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10 Jan 2008, 12:09 am

:cheers: woohoo!! !!
that's sounds like ammmmmazzzzzziiinng news!! !

i can't tell you how excited this makes me feel...so i'll do a tap dance *tap dances*


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riverotter
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10 Jan 2008, 12:13 am

Thank you! It is especially amazing because, if I can do it, anyone can do it.



LabPet
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10 Jan 2008, 12:40 am

Yeah! I knew you could - we all like you here on WP. I want a bf too....sigh. I just don't know how. I don't even know enough to start. I wish there were instructions and that I weren't so painfully shy. Making a friend is so hard.

Riverotter, I happen to know Aspies make strong loyal friends, so I'll bet your new friend will recognize and appreciate this quality in you. Champagne, candles, flowers, in order here?


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hartzofspace
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10 Jan 2008, 12:56 am

Absolutely marvelous! I am so happy for you. It's great that you took the risk.


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LabPet
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10 Jan 2008, 3:48 am

Since we're on the topic: Does anyone know what to do between that awkward interest on my part and "Please make love to me. Comply."

I think somewhere in the middle there should be flirting, etc. I just do not know how.....sigh.


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riverotter
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10 Jan 2008, 9:25 am

Please do not misunderstand because when I say "friend" I am not using it as a euphemism for anything at all!! I have a husband already who makes love to me just fine. The only problem being, we have had no outside friendships whatsoever.
Believe me, sex partners are way easier to come by than friends. (since I track gonorrhea and chlamydia stats as part of my job, believe me, I really know this.)



LabPet
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10 Jan 2008, 5:36 pm

Apologies - I did not mean to imply :oops:

I was speaking for myself, since I'm looking for a male friend.

But, for you, having a husband is a friend too!


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the_incident
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10 Jan 2008, 6:12 pm

LabPet wrote:
Since we're on the topic: Does anyone know what to do between that awkward interest on my part and "Please make love to me. Comply."

I think somewhere in the middle there should be flirting, etc. I just do not know how.....sigh.


If you were really that forthright you might find a distressing number of fellows immediately ready to comply.



LabPet
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10 Jan 2008, 7:03 pm

Problem is....I'm not that forthright! I am very shy.


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0_equals_true
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11 Jan 2008, 7:41 am

Congrats. :) Hang in there it should get better.



TrueDave
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11 Jan 2008, 5:53 pm

I find it easier to make friends with women.

A guy is EXPECTED to hit on a woman so when he just walks up and talks to her its not so unusual. I prefer women as friends. Even though I may be oblivious at times and not know what to do my guy aquaintences are not at all in to talking about anything other than shared intrests, Especilally when theres a group. Then without a woman present it decends into locker room homophobe talk.

You have no idea the weird social rules are to a guy making a new guy friend, And it takes forever.

I've been trying to make friends in my acting class and its tough. Just last night I was talking to a newcomer girl and I asked her if when she said " single mom" tht meant she would be open to having coffee.
She said she'd just gotten out of a difficult relationship and I was releieved. I hope she'll go hang out with me and it since it's already been stated we can just become friends.



riverotter
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12 Jan 2008, 12:08 pm

TrueDave wrote:
You have no idea the weird social rules are to a guy making a new guy friend, And it takes forever.

You're right- I have no idea! I would like for my husband to find a good buddy dude friend he can do stuff with and talk to. He had one that died last year. I don't know how it works at all with any gender permutation (girl-girl, girl-guy, guy-guy) or that it was appreciably different.
This guy I am talking about, I told my husband to maybe try hanging out with him (like to watch "the game" on TV today together) but my husband stated he is not interested, despite an actual invite to the guy's place. So I am thinking what will happen, is these two guys will be in their respective homes each watching the game today and I'll be doing something else. It seems sort of illogical to me.



TrueDave
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12 Jan 2008, 5:26 pm

yeah but watching the game is about as personal to a man as having a long warm soak in the tub is to a woman.
Even though I've never watched a game.
Plus theres home court advantage and TV envy.

Home court you can eat all the Pringles you want and don't have to ask anyone for permission to get another beer. Tv envy I know a guy who refuses to watch movies at his friends house because his friend uses wide screen effect something on everything, plus theres the whole speaker set upissue

I don't like watching tv with people unless its something interactive like a documentary.
I sometimes like going to the theatre with company but don't like holding my emotions in. I cry at a lot of movies, I'm gullible.

Hmm after reading this I realize women worring over the right handbag to go with the right outfit won't worry me anymore.