The Awkward Silence...

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This is all too common for me.
Today, someone came to visit me at my house. During the whole time she was here [about 1 hour] there were atleast 10 times where there was an "awkward silence" after something that I said.
Someone else decided to ring me at my house later on today...we talked for a LONG time. There were countless moments where I didn't know what to say so there was an awkward silence and times were I could have said something "wrong" because there was again, another silence.
It seems that no matter how much I try in conversation, I always fail to be successful.

Does anyone else experience this silence in conversations all too often? Does anyone know of ways to prevent excessive awkward silences?

Help!!

Well... This has also been a serious problem for me my whole life. I do think that even NT's experience this, just not the way we do. When it happens we panic because we feel we caused it, in reality it takes two to tango and unless you said something weird to cause it then the pause may just be a normal conversation thing. Maby not so much for women I know plenty of women who talk and talk, but for men their are plenty of times where I hear and experience a moment of quiet, its only akward for us because if we did not bring it on we feel we did not do something right, but again, the other party also contributed and I dont think they feel to akward about it, unless it goes on for a long time, then that is not good...

I hate not knowing what to say I am totally with ya on that, I have gotton alot better, but this still happens. If their is alot of distance between us as far as space and something else to focus on like a TV its all good. However on saturday I will be driving with a girl I know to the mall. I like her, she likes me and we have been on and off so called 'dating' for a while now. I am nervous being cooped up in that car with her because its a 45 min drive their and 45 mins back, the mall is one thing, but the entire time I need to keep a conversation going, usually I have an escape, but being trapped in the car their is no way, I will need to do my part as she will naturally do hers. I am expecting a series of very akward silences, and understand I am not the only cause of them and wont get bent outa shape when they happen, they give me time to come up with more to talk about.

I am nervous as hell... just thinking about it, I am sure u and others know all to well how this feels.

Yeah, that silence can be really awkward...I have no clue how to avoid it, since usually it begins when I don't really have anything to say, and a couple seconds of thinking about it isn't going to change anything.

Fortunately, I also have the problem of sometimes continually talking about my interests long after the other person has stopped paying attention

which, whether it's more desirable or less, at least avoids the awkward silence problem half the time

"Everytime there is an awkward silence, a gay baby is born."

Nowadays when there's an awkward silence and I'm among people I relatively know, I just say; "Gay baby."
Tends to bring the frustrating situation into an end.

Keep in mind that not all silences are awkward.

And as woodsman25 says, it does take two to tango. If there is an awkward silence after something you've said, it isn't necessarily your fault. Maybe the other party couldn't think of anything witty to say in response. Did you notice the silence happening for the same reason each time?

Also, in my opinion, an awkward silence is preferable to prattling on ad nauseum about something the other party has no interest in.

The silence happened several times after things that I said. At one stage, we were talking about crocodiles and then when I talked about snakes and other reptiles , there was a silence when I stopped talking. That is just one incedent.

I feel the unbearable urge to get things going again by saying something shocking. Shocking and personal.And graphic. Usually gross. Always true.

People who know me well say theres nothing I could say or do anymore that could shock them.
Unfortunately part of me takes that as a challange.

Hm. Just a guess, but you may have hit on a subject that your guest either had no knowledge of or interest in.

If you were talking for a long time about reptiles (more than, say, a minute), they may have been trying to tell you to move on to another subject. If somebody is interested in what you're saying, they'll probably look at you while you're speaking and nod or otherwise vocalize agreement periodically. If they're disinterested, they may look away from you at something else and not respond, so...

The next time one of those awkward silences happens, a more direct way to find out what somebody is thinking or feeling is to ask: "What do you think?" and pay close attention to what they say in response.

Long silences seem to be a part of life.
If I try to fill that void I run the risk of boring the other person with something they have no interest in. So the void continues until they begin to talk ( possibly about a subject I have no interest in) or they say " uh, well, nice talking to ya. Oooh, look at the time. I better get off of here. I'll talk to you soon, bye.".
As for long car rides--- bring a music CD and pop it in at the start of the journey. If there's nothing to talk about then you have music. If there is a conversation, you lower the music's volume.

* bon jovi music here*

I've heard in a lot of places that we should ask open questions, not closed questions, and the same way, when asked a question, don't just give a "yes" or "no" answer. Try and give AT LEAST 1 sentence for your answer. That will usually lead onto another point. Using this method, I have reduced (but not prevented) how often I have an awkward silence in a conversation. Even if that means playing along with the conversation even if you're not interested in what the other person is saying, it's better than having an awkward silence.

Closed question:

Person A: Do you like Football?
Person B: No

Open question:

Person A: What sports do you like?
Person B: I play for my local football club and I also like watching cricket and snooker.

I don't drink, so I don't go to bars, but my wife used to, and one day I asked her...."so, you're sitting in a bar with a drink in your hand, and what do you talk about?" and she said, "Nothing, that's the point." (wife is an NT)
Me. "Nothing? You just sit and keep quiet?"
Her. "Yeah. What's so strange about that?"
Me. "Well, I think it's strange."
Her. "Yeah, but you talk all the time."
Me. "Does it bother you?"
Her. "No, but have you ever noticed that I don't?"
Me. "Is that because I don't give you a chance?"
Her. (smiling) "No. Silence doesn't bother me. Never has."
Me. "Yeah, but I've heard you talk on the phone half the night."
Her. "Yeah, but it doesn't bother me to just sit and keep quiet."
Me. "So you really don't talk in a bar."
Her. "Gets in the way of drinking."
Me. "I must have led a sheltered life."
Her. "Yeah, you did. But do you love me any less because I don't talk that much?"
Me. "No."
Her. "Then what's the problem?"
Me. "I don't like silence."
Her. "You're strange."
Me. "Yeah, but you knew that before we got married."
Her. "Sure did."

So sometimes the problem with silence is a problem that's in your own head. On the other hand, if the person you're talking to is talking about one thing, and you come back and start talking about what you might have been thinking about (if it's completely something else), there is likely to be a long silence while the person you're talking to is figuring out what you just said.

Life is funny if you're lucky.

Cheers
Btdt

I decided to not let those silences be awkward for me anymore. If I don't really feel like talking or just can't think of something else to say, then I don't let that bother me anymore. I like a little silence. It was always the other person who would make me feel awkward about it. So now I don't worry about it at all. If they have a problem with it then I leave it to them to break the silence.
I think this silence is much more awkward on a telephone, though.