Tact, what's the point?

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Spokane_Girl

12 Jan 2008, 2:13 pm

I don't think I ever had this problem. People like my honesty. What kind of society do I live in?

sarahstilettos
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12 Jan 2008, 3:09 pm

Greentea wrote:

Back when I had friends (all of them NTs) I used to hate it when they'd call me to discuss an issue that was bothering them and ask for my insight. Invariably, they'd distance from me after the conversation because my insight wasn't what they wanted to hear. Then why call me to "discuss"? Call me to go to the theater instead ! !! Nowadays when someone asks for my insight or wants to discuss a problem they have, I make sure to lie through my teeth and say only cliches like "Be more trusting, everything will be all right, just give it a chance, you think too much", etc. etc. At least that way I don't make an enemy.

I'm not sure that in such situations people even want any insight or advice at all. More often they seem just to want to get something off their chest. I try to ask them lots of questions so they can carry on talking, which seems to make them happy.

Greentea
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13 Jan 2008, 12:02 am

As usual, I discover the hidden agenda too late. But if I'd known they were calling to meet so they could get things off their chests, I wouldn't have agreed to meet. What a boring outing that is!

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pakled
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13 Jan 2008, 12:09 am

I have lived long enough to know there is no correct answer to

Do these pants make me look fat?...

I get in trouble all the time for when the missus says 'she's just talking' instead of 'she's complaining'. It sounds suspiciously the same to me, which just gets me in more trouble.

Who_Am_I
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13 Jan 2008, 12:14 am

pluto wrote:

Tact is a way of letting others know if you care about them,by going out of your way
to let them down gently instead of sounding honest to the point of being brutal.

NTs can usually tell if you're lying by your body language and facial expressions,but
they'll appreciate the fact you've made an effort to use words that are diplomatic.

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AceOfSpades
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13 Jan 2008, 12:31 am

^ pluto said it best.

TrueDave
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13 Jan 2008, 2:22 am

I think I'm a little better at tact than I am at my worst enemy of a word. Gist.

"You get the gist of it?"

Of course I'm probably not very good at tact , I mean what do I know I'm an AS for Gods sake!

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