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Joined: 29 Jun 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,341

12 Jan 2008, 2:00 pm

zendell wrote:
Alternative wrote:
I'm very crap at tact.

A friend of mine asked me if they were fat (A girl of course this was. You don't really know any boys who would ask me this).

And my response was:

"No, you're not fat. You're just chubby. There's nothing wrong with that."

To which response, she went through some kind of stage of bullemia and the desire to run every night and every morning.

3 words to say to this:


1st people tell you to "be yourself"

I be myself, and speak my mind and never lie, and this is what happens.

What the f**k am I supposed to do? lol. :lol: :lol:

I'd tell her she's just horizontally challenged. :lol:

Or even.

More to love. ;)

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Joined: 13 Jun 2007
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,119
Location: My heart belongs to Anfield

12 Jan 2008, 2:05 pm

I've often been accused of missing the tact button line. I guess it wasn't shiny enough to attract my attention. I don't always understand all the little white lies that humans tell each other. It's like the whole non verbal language thing. Just the puzzle piece from the same kind of puzzle, cut on a different day.

I wish they'd make an Autism Operating System upgrade with these things. It would make things with other humans much easier sometimes.

"All those things that you taught me to fear
I've got them in my garden now
And you're not welcome here" ---Poe

12 Jan 2008, 2:13 pm

I don't think I ever had this problem. People like my honesty. What kind of society do I live in? :?


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Joined: 7 Sep 2007
Age: 35
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Posts: 847

12 Jan 2008, 3:09 pm

Greentea wrote:
Back when I had friends (all of them NTs) I used to hate it when they'd call me to discuss an issue that was bothering them and ask for my insight. Invariably, they'd distance from me after the conversation because my insight wasn't what they wanted to hear. Then why call me to "discuss"? Call me to go to the theater instead ! !! Nowadays when someone asks for my insight or wants to discuss a problem they have, I make sure to lie through my teeth and say only cliches like "Be more trusting, everything will be all right, just give it a chance, you think too much", etc. etc. At least that way I don't make an enemy.

I'm not sure that in such situations people even want any insight or advice at all. More often they seem just to want to get something off their chest. I try to ask them lots of questions so they can carry on talking, which seems to make them happy.


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Joined: 14 Jun 2007
Age: 59
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Location: Middle East

13 Jan 2008, 12:02 am

As usual, I discover the hidden agenda too late. But if I'd known they were calling to meet so they could get things off their chests, I wouldn't have agreed to meet. What a boring outing that is!

So-called white lies are like fake jewelry. Adorn yourself with them if you must, but expect to look cheap to a connoisseur.


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Joined: 12 Nov 2007
Age: 63
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Posts: 7,015

13 Jan 2008, 12:09 am

I have lived long enough to know there is no correct answer to

Do these pants make me look fat?...;)

I get in trouble all the time for when the missus says 'she's just talking' instead of 'she's complaining'. It sounds suspiciously the same to me, which just gets me in more trouble.


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Joined: 27 Aug 2005
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Location: My body is in Brisbane and my mind is in the gutter. :D

13 Jan 2008, 12:14 am

pluto wrote:
Tact is a way of letting others know if you care about them,by going out of your way
to let them down gently instead of sounding honest to the point of being brutal.

NTs can usually tell if you're lying by your body language and facial expressions,but
they'll appreciate the fact you've made an effort to use words that are diplomatic.

Music Theory 101: Cadences.
Authentic cadence: V-I
Plagal cadence: IV-I
Deceptive cadence: V- ANYTHING BUT I ! !! !
Beethoven cadence: V-I-V-I-V-V-V-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I! I! I! I I I


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Joined: 11 Feb 2006
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13 Jan 2008, 12:31 am

^ pluto said it best.


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Joined: 27 Jul 2007
Age: 49
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13 Jan 2008, 2:22 am

I think I'm a little better at tact than I am at my worst enemy of a word. Gist.

"You get the gist of it?"

Of course I'm probably not very good at tact , I mean what do I know I'm an AS for Gods sake!