Interview: to be yourself or lie?

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joku_muko
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16 Jan 2008, 1:44 am

I haven't had many job interviews in fact most the jobs I have had have been given to me with some help though I still did interview. So now that I am actually career oriented and about to interview with the state I am curious which is better. On one hand I don't want to pretend I am what I'm not, but it seems if I don't I'm screwed. Yet when you think about that why would I want to work at a place where I can't be myself? So, from what I've read in a professional interview it's pretty much eye contact and etc. Which means I'm pretty much screwed right when I walk in the door. I'm pretty sure the answer is the simple just fake it etc. But, I am curious has anyone really been themselves and gotten a job? I mean we are at a real disadvantage almost everything they judge is things I have problems with. I know its not easy for NT's either, but now I'm rambling so I'll stop. But, if anyone has any insight I'd appreciate it.



gbollard
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16 Jan 2008, 5:13 am

Be yourself but be positive.

No need to talk about aspergers.

Make a list of your positive things and have a couple of GOOD negatives ready.

Interviewers often ask about your bad points and I often say;

- Too much attention to detail
- Being a perfectionist makes it painful for me to delegate things sometimes

these are good because employers can see the good side of the "bad" things.



DuceXcreW
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16 Jan 2008, 5:59 pm

One of my favorite negative things to say about me is:

I tend to get lost in the details sometimes, so I make it a point to step back often and reevaluate the situation. It helps me not waste any time by staying on track.

I have actually *always* succeeded at interviews. I remember only 2 were botched:

One was a really good interviewer. She tried to take EVERYTHING I said and turn it around into something negative, to see if I could handle pressure and irritating people (It was for a bank teller job). I ended up just laughing at some point and basically ending it because -- not because she was 'breaking me' -- but because I was realizing that the way she made the job sound I'd have to quit school. Erm. Can't quit school k thx :P

The other was an internship at a place where I would basically be telemarketing. Uhh, to be honest, I don't know what the problem was exactly, except I had a 101 fever and was def. not feeling like myself. Maybe I looked like death, or maybe there was someone more qualified, but the 3 jobs I've had in my life I was hired (essentially) "On the spot."

THE PROBLEM IS: (Why I'm saying all of this)
Although I tend to succeed at them. I do not remember them at all really. I remember the events leading up to it, the events after it, and can summarize important details (Names of people not included). But I develop severe tunnel vision and I become this. Social creature that I have absolutely no control over. I pretty much black out and wake up when it's done, and I'm shaking their hand before I leave.

My conclusion: Do whatever happens to your naturally -- OR, try to look AS COMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE but no TRASHY comfortable. Don't slouch and stuff, putting your feet on a desk/chair. Act proper, but make yourself at home -- like you are meeting a significant other's parents. I think that's a good way?

Wow I wrote too much <3



AnonymousAnonymous
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16 Jan 2008, 7:34 pm

Just be yourself.

If they ask, explain Aspergers to the best of your ability.

Prepare yourself by writing questions and memorizing them.

Good Luck!


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AspE
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16 Jan 2008, 7:39 pm

There is something in between "being yourself" as if in your natural setting, and lying. Be creative, positive, and turn the conversation to your strengths as a possible employee, what you can bring to the organization. There are some good books of advice about this. Eye contact can be faked, you should probably do some of that.



886
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17 Jan 2008, 1:38 pm

Wouldn't most employers discriminate if you posess asperger syndrome?



gbollard
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17 Jan 2008, 2:44 pm

Quote:
886 said:
Wouldn't most employers discriminate if you posess asperger syndrome?


Yes, I think they would, though they woudn't say so openly... sometimes they may not be aware that they're discriminating.



AspE
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17 Jan 2008, 3:43 pm

886 wrote:
Wouldn't most employers discriminate if you posess asperger syndrome?


I wouldn't say anything about it during the interview. I have only told a manager that I really trusted, and because he brought up my lack of social interaction.



bobert
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17 Jan 2008, 4:42 pm

I think that it is best to be honest in a job interview, but you are also under no obligation to volunteer information that has nothing to do with the job. I think that the important thing, is that you don't misrepresent your ability to do the job in question.
In a perfect world, interviewers would allow you to be yourself, and honestly match you up with the appropriate job.



hyperbolic
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17 Jan 2008, 11:28 pm

I'm going to have to disagree with the others here somewhat. You need to tell the interviewer everything he wants to hear. He wants to know that you are a confident, willing, and competent potential employee. Any subjective measure such as how you feel is subjective and no answer can really be considered wrong for that reason, even a lie, I would argue. In fact, most people have an inflated view of themselves, and going against that trend and following honesty On the other hand, objective measures such as your past work, education or accomplishment should definitely not be lied about. Making up stuff like will get you in big trouble.

Don't be yourself in hopes that the other person will lower his expectations and understand you. Instead, try to sell yourself to the interviewer. Definitely try to give eye contact, forced if possible, even though it may be very difficult.



Legato
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18 Jan 2008, 8:45 am

I was once asked what my worst quality was.

I responded firmly: "Women."

I got the job. :lol:



DuceXcreW
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19 Jan 2008, 12:49 pm

Legato wrote:
I was once asked what my worst quality was.

I responded firmly: "Women."

I got the job. :lol:


I may have to try that. Much love <33



ClosetAspy
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01 Feb 2008, 6:54 pm

"Being yourself." You hear that all the time. But what if "yourself" isn't socially acceptable? There's the rub, and there are no self-help books out there that I know of that addresses that issue. They are pretty much written for NT's who don't have the issues we do.

I am still very much in the closet with my employer of nearly 30 years and will probably remain more or less that way. About lying, well, it depends on what you call lying. Or, truth is whatever you want it to be. The fact of life is that that person on the other side of your desk has the power to call the shots, so it is best to give him or her whatever he or she wants, within reason. Be adaptable. (I know that can be a hard concept.) Basically my rule of thumb on the job is, never lie about anything that can be proven to be a lie. For example if you call in sick and you really were off goofing around, you are asking for it. I don't think too many of us have trouble with that concept.

The gray area is where it gets sticky. Just remember, you don't have to disclose anything and sometimes it is better not to. Is it lying to let others draw their own conclusions and not correct them if they are erroneous? I have found that in my work career that the things we often fret about, not being "true" to ourselves and "having to wear a mask" are not the make or break issues. So I have to pretend sometimes and hide my Aspyness. So what? At least I am supporting myself and have the freedom to do what I please once my 8 hours are done. One thing I learned early on is that whoever controls your money (income) controls your life. So choose your "master" wisely, if you have a choice.



Lonelybonesey
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01 Feb 2008, 7:00 pm

Right from the start if you lied in a job interview you would have to lie through the whole job if you got it and i dont think that would be fun to be living in a false universe you create around yourself. I think you would be much happier without that


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joku_muko
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01 Feb 2008, 9:49 pm

It's figurative. Pretending to be who you aren't. Everyone does it.