Don't like telling people I got AS
Outside a few people in my family, I've told no one about having AS. The only woman I told about it got mad at me because it was three years into the relationship before I told her.
I'm sure people around me know I'm odd, some have even told me so, but I have felt no desire to tell them anything about my AS.
I don't want a label, and people are judgmental as it is, I don't need it thrown back in my face like everything else.
Does anyone else feel the same way?
I'm sure people around me know I'm odd, some have even told me so, but I have felt no desire to tell them anything about my AS.
I don't want a label, and people are judgmental as it is, I don't need it thrown back in my face like everything else.
Does anyone else feel the same way?
Of course. Part of it is to protect yourself. Only people who are really close to me know about it.
Absolutely no way would I tell anyone I had AS if I hadn't known them for a long time and was sure they wouldn't behave negatively to me because of it. Not in today's society anyway. I suppose I feel as if I can get away with it because I can sometimes pass for being an NT.
I've only just found out recently that I'm AS and I am debating whether or not to tell my family. I'd told them about my social anxiety in the past and it had good and bad effects. The bad effects were mostly them telling other people without considering how that would effect peoples behavior toward me. I hate feeling like a charity case and that is how it's made me feel sometimes.
And yes I do feel it would give some people 'ammunition' against me. So why would I risk that?
Brittany2907
The ultimate storm is eternally on it's
Joined: 9 Jun 2007
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,718
Location: New Zealand
I'm more one of those people who has issues with compulsive honesty - I have to remind myself it's bad form to tell people outside my close circle. But then, I don't like the currently prevalent view that anything to do with mental health issues should be hidden away and not talked about, I think that this is partly why most people have such a limited understanding. And it makes it shameful. I look forward to the day when it's just, 'Dave has blue eyes, John works in a library, Rachel has asthma, Sarah is autistic'.
It's also to do with needing people's understanding and help sometimes - I can't expect them to be psychic and know what the problem is without telling them.
I'm not volunteering personal information about myself to people that don't need to know. Those that know, know. For the others the ins and outs of my condition is not any business of theirs.
I'm sure people around me know I'm odd, some have even told me so, but I have felt no desire to tell them anything about my AS.
I don't want a label, and people are judgmental as it is, I don't need it thrown back in my face like everything else.
Does anyone else feel the same way?
If they're around you enough, they already know you have AS. The only thing you would be telling them it that there's a label for it.
If someone asks me why I'm different, I can honestly tell them I don't know. AS is basically a label for people who have problems socializing and communicating. They already know I have difficulty with socializing and communicating so telling them there's a name for it really doesn't do anything. No one knows for sure what causes it so I can just say I don't know why I'm different.
I have a problem with being too honest also. It gets me into trouble. There is no need to be honest and tell people oh I haven't been to church much because I am busy dealing with OT and psych therapy because I have Aspergers.
This topic recently came up with my psychologist. I shared with her how after I told my neighbor I had Aspergers that she started treating me different suddenly talking to me like I was ret*d. She got to the point if we went out to dinner she wanted to drive because she apparently didn't trust me. Which I found odd that she thought somehow she was safer driving on ice & snow in her old car with bald tires than she was riding in my new car.
My psychologist told me regardless of being on the spectrum, your AS is mild if you are able to function independantly without a caregiver so there is no reason for other people to know you have AS. You should not tell them. And you should go back to your neighbor and tell her you were misdiagnosed and that you do not have AS or autism, even if you do.
If someone asks me why I'm different, I can honestly tell them I don't know. AS is basically a label for people who have problems socializing and communicating. They already know I have difficulty with socializing and communicating so telling them there's a name for it really doesn't do anything. No one knows for sure what causes it so I can just say I don't know why I'm different.
I do sometimes say things to people like, 'sorry! don't understand sarcasm! No point in using it with me', or 'sorry I'm a huge anti-social, not very good at socialising'. Describing a specific problem to help them to understand is often a great solution.
This is basically the same spiel I got given. The thing is, the reason why people patronise those they know are autistic is because they don't understand what autism is! The media does not make it clear that autism is essentially a communication difficulty, it seems to be associated in people's minds with either very low IQ or savant-like abilities.
People who know an autistic person on a day to day level seem to end up understanding it much better - having a more open mind to what autistic people can be like.
My boss knows that I have aspergers syndrome. I don't ever regret telling her, for two reasons.
1. In exchange for my hard work, (<- that is the crucial bit) she does the odd thing to help me. For instance, the building work that needs to be done in my office next week is being done out of hours to avoid stressing me out.
2. She has got to learn that people with Aspergers can be hard working, intelligent, punctual, reliable, and generally great people to employ.
This is basically the same spiel I got given. The thing is, the reason why people patronise those they know are autistic is because they don't understand what autism is! The media does not make it clear that autism is essentially a communication difficulty, it seems to be associated in people's minds with either very low IQ or savant-like abilities.
People who know an autistic person on a day to day level seem to end up understanding it much better - having a more open mind to what autistic people can be like.
I think that people who are open to autistics are open to everyone and are going to be that way regardless if they know you are autistic or not. People that patronize autistics are arrogant and probably patronize others they deem lesser beings. Bullies have the innate ability to tune into who is passive and monopolize on it. As you get older they patronize, but when they were younger they were the schoolyard bully or the bully of their family.
Starscream
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 18 Feb 2007
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 191
Location: The Planet Cybertron, Bazinga!
not as bad as me i had to tell me work that i have AS(when i was trying to get the job there in the 1st place) that i had AS since me former employer before the one i'm at now fired me cause i did not tell them sooner that i have AS, so to be honest i just deside to be open about it and if people dont like #SO F'ING WHAT!#
_________________
"Freedom Is The Right Of All Sentient Beings"
I've not told anyone not even my parents or sister and i constantly watch myself from blurting it out when people that work with me everyday start inquiring about my personal life or make some personal questions.
I'm considering telling a friend and ex-coworker (i left that job) just because she is nice ...and because she had the guts to tell me one day that she was lesbian and did so with a straight face and with no shame or anything. I admire that and anyone who'se like that with me I feel I should be equally honest with in return.
plus I still owe her a dinner and one hell of an awkward silent moment of shock. *evil grin*
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