wtf. my co-workers keep telling me to get a girlfriend

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they keep saying that it's weird for a 27 year old guy to not have a girlfriend and they said it's our duty as humans to get married and bring children into the world. then one of the managers came around and asked if i have a girlfriend. i said no and he laughed at me

Tell them you dont want to date and you just want to wait for the right person. I'm not sure if what they are doing is harrasment or it could just be co-workers jabbin at each other in jest.

Wow. The manager is a real A-hole. I think that is harassment likely based on gender. The "duty as humans" thing is absolute nonsence. It's no one's 'duty' to get married and have sex, last time I checked.

Te them that as an Asperger`s man you lack the feminine side that women look for in potential mates.Be proud that you are 100% male instead of 70/30 m/f like NT males.

Your manager sounds like an egoistic a**hole looking for someone to over-power. As far as your co-workers telling you to get a girlfriend goes...a lot of this happens in a lot of places...home, school, work, at parties etc. It's just a normal guy-to guy piece of advise I suppose. You don't have to listen to it though. Yes, in todays society it is unusual for a 27 year old guy to not have a girlfriend...but it doesn't mean that it's weird, there is nothing wrong with being single!
Marrige and having children is not a requirement...gosh, in todays day and age, humans can still be so small minded!

the laugh is a dead give away.

they think you are gay, and they think you are clueless about it, too!

It has gone from simple sexual harassment to compound sexual harassment.

of course, if you want to retain your job, just lie and say you have two girlfriends and 5 kids ("that you know about, HAR HAR HAR! with or with out a gratuitous wink and elbow rib poke.)

If you want to make waves and create tension, tell them to back off, that your contributions to society will not be a bunch of Aspie-NT half breeds.

good luck, I have dealt with a**holes like this in the work place all my life.


Merle

Last edited by sinsboldly on 31 Jan 2008, 12:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Your co-workers sound like idiots , if it is a big company I'd be looking up their harassment complaints procedure right now just for future reference.

When I see stories like this I think of the line from idiocracy "now I know why einstein built that bomb"

The whole "its our duty" thing gets on my nerves, cool we have now filled the planet - is it not now time to evolve a sense of perspective and reproduce based on our own and our enviroments capability to provide for our offspring.

Maybe your co-workers are secretly thinking "I wish I was 27 and had no-one depending on me". I'm 31 , havent had a GF for a while, dont have any kids and I can do whatever the hell I want - make life changing decisions without having to check with people, sit drinking and eating pizza at 2am on a worknight and I only have myself to tell me off! No screaming small humans to feed at 5am every morning .. good times!

Welcome to the world of being thought of as livestock. (EWWWW!)

Get used to it I guess is the only advice I can give you. I get made fun of for it too. They especially like to say "Be gentle with diswasher, like you're making love to a woman. Oh wait, you don't know what that's like, do you?" Stuff like that. It sucks, but I've learned to brush it off.

Peace,

Windlord.

I just wanted to tell you I can relate to this.

I get so tired of the expectation and pressure people put on their peers to be in relationships.

You can find people who will accept you if you are gay, jobless, homeless, of any religious faith, with any physical or mental disease, transgendered, disabled, a criminal, or a drug user. Yet make the mistake of telling someone (or having them find out) that you are not in a relationship, and you are not trying to find a relationship, and you will be universally ostracized by everyone. You are labeled a freak and a loser and people whisper about whether you are gay or have mental problems. If you have other strange habits people may whisper about you being a pedophile or a murderer. All for choosing not to engage in the lifelong, exhausting, and largely unrewarding courtship dance.

I am so tired of being ostracized by friends, family, and co-workers about my lack of a dating life that I will not talk about my personal life to anyone outside of the internet. It's just not worth it. No one understands why I hate dating, how it destroys my self-confidence and leaves me feeling anxious and miserable. I would love to have a loving relationship, but I will never "date". It's simply awful. There has to be a better way! Yet the way other people treat me insinuates that there must be something horribly, horribly wrong with me.

I am female and people just "assume" I have a boyfriend or a husband, so I suppose it is a little easier for women than men. I have been at my current job for a while and no one has asked me yet. Yet they know I never talk about having a boyfriend or anything, so I think they just assume that it is not a topic that is up for discussion. Or they assume I'm a lesbian. I'm comfortable with either - anything that doesn't require me apologizing to people about MY life choices.

I won't put up with it anymore and I think you shouldn't either. You don't have to make a stink, but just make it clear under no uncertain terms that you will not tolerate being mocked for your choices. You are not less of a person because you don't have a girlfriend, you are not mentally ill, you are not pitiful or a source of amusement or sympathy for others. It's hard but if fewer people based their self worth on relationships and sex, we would have more happy people in the world. There is no point in quitting your job, because these people are everywhere and won't go away. The change has to come in how you perceive yourself.

I get the so-called advice of "you ought to go out and get yourself a girlfriend" every once in a while. I usually reply with "Yes, I should just go to the girlfriend store with my coupon and pick one out. And while I'm out, I can take the time to get you a second-hand mind-your-own-business suit".

Sometimes I get the variation, "you should find a girlfriend",
to which I reply "Yes, ofcourse, I'll just lift up a rock and find a sweet, intelligent person I feel entirely comfortable sharing my existence with and who is equally comfortable with me. Piece of cake. Actually, the cake sounds a little bit simpler, so I think I'll just go with that".

Just say - I'm in-between chicks at the moment - know any nice ones?

who knows, it might work

I have not asked that stupid question, yet. But I bet that the guys who asked that question have not dated or don't have a girlfriend.

I have been told that I should be married and have kids by now, and I don't see how I could.

or more likely fell for the same old line when they were young and now want to bully other's into the same fate.


Merle

When you mean by the same fate, do you mean by the dating game?