Jealous of NTs
I do get jealous but not mad, just sad. I'm kind of terrified to complain because I don't want to look back and think these were easy days. But almost everything I do, outside of playing video games, working on a intellectual or physical project, and reading here, I have to force myself. Anything out in the world, around anyone, is stressful. It has always been this way for me. When it turns out to be easy and fun, worth forcing myself, it is a miracle. I have a friend whose mom is a great cook. I have a secret trust for her cooking and eat almost everything she cooks. She has no idea of what a miracle it is and how much I adore her. I don't trust anyone's cooking. I am anxious eating anywhere, it is never ok. But I love her cooking and her Martha Stewart presentation. I love it when someone takes extra care, notices all the components. I appreciate it beyond anyone's comprehension. Every minute of every day all my life has been a grind. My brain is in constant misfire unless completely focused on something. I am happy when I am in the 'zone' with an interest but I cannot be interrupted or expect to deal with anything about normal life. I don't eat regular or sleep regular and get agitated if I have to stop and answer a phone. I get things done and it is done perfect. I am happy in those times. But most of the time people just confuse me, pressure me or are disappointed with me. They may appreciate my skills and abilities but don't appreciate my ways and how much time I need alone.
Why would I be jealous of people who I have nothing in common with. Most of my NT same sex peers, are into keeping up with the latest trends and music. I wish to stay true to the things, that I like. I'm also working, so that's another reason for me, not to be jealous. I have my own place. A third reason for me not to feel jealous. I also look like a young version of a 60s celebrity. Not many of my same sex peers, look like the celebrities, that they wish to look like. A fourth reason for me, not to be jealous. I also enjoy my own company. Not many females my age, are able to enjoy their own company. Why would I be jealous of people who can't enjoy their own company? The NTs of my same sex age group, are a waste of my time. Time that I can spend on my special interests, and the Internet.
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Who wants to adopt a Sweet Pea?
Maybe instead of focusing on what you're bad at, focus on what you're good at? Such as a good long term memory, ability to "see" beneath the surface in situations where most only see the shallowest aspect of it, etc.
Constantly wishing you had what others have is only going to make you miserable.