Avoidant Personality Disorder and the challenges of Dating

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Okay, I'm pretty sure I have APD as I fit the definition of the disorder to a T. I've never dated before, which is probably due to the APD... but now I am talking to a girl online who lives a mere 2 hours from me and the possibility of me dating her has emerged. So does anyone here who might have APD have any advice to offer in regard to dating? Can an APD successfully date, or is there no hope?

I discovered something similar but "avoidant personality disorder"?
I simply tell people that I have a tendancy to go into hermit stages and hibernations where I simply like to be alone. Is labelling yourself with such a classification beneficial in this case?

The best plan is to NOT hide anything from her in regards to your social disfunctions. That is what I do and it seems to be the best route. In the beginning, I met alot of people who didn't want to bother with me but after awhile the good ones began to shine through.
There's alot of girls that were wierded out me but in the long run, they simply weren't worth the time and effort anyway.

When you find someone who is willing to understand you and accept the oddities then that will be the right time. Lately I have been trying to screen out reality impaired cases (with expectations that life is supposed to be like an episode of desperate housewives or a rap video) in favour of those who realize the imperfection of humanity.

I would urge you to try the same plan and see if it can work for you.
The right people ARE out there, I can assure you of that but it often takes wading or avoiding a sea of wrong ones. Level your expectations out and go for it.

I've got APD too. With girls especially, it can be tough to fight the fear and keep myself from making excuses to put off social stuff, but I've found that I can gradually grow more comfortable with people as time goes on. If you've just recently begun talking to this girl, it's understandable to be overwhelmed with all the APD symptoms. My advice is to keep things the way they are for the moment -- talking online and moving slowly. If you can get comfortable with her online, meeting her in real life should be easier. Try setting a date in the future when you will meet her. It can be months away, but STICK TO IT.

Thanks for the advice, Absolute_Zero and ghotistix. She already knows I have some mental issues, such as being chronically shy and a little weird and so forth. She seems to be okay with it, in fact she says she is the same way. I think there is hope for APD and AS people... but we must find someone who can understand us first, which means we have to find another APD or AS person.

I've looked for a long time online and have been rejected alot, but this one just might work out. So for those reading this who were in despair as I was, I tell you to keep trying. Anyway, me and here are not in anything serious yet.. but the potential is there at least. So I am feeling a bit optimistic.

Let me know how it goes, Psychlone. I've been diagnosed APD and have thought about online dating but I can't help thinking that will end in disaster. We need a comprehensive online dating site for people with social problems/disorders, and something WAY more extensive than Aspie Affection.

When it comes to interacting with others, especially members of the other sex, those with social disabilities are like this:





What you need to take off the ground is a guide. Not a book. An actual human guide that knows what they are doing. Find someone willing to stick by you and administer social skills training and lessons. Otherwise, you're lying there all charred, de-limbed, and hopeless.

|-o-| V4der |-o-|