Anyone ever been confused or get confused by rules

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18 Feb 2008, 5:01 pm

Is there anyone who gets confused about what the rules are or used to get confused?

You learn what the rules are but then you see someone breaking them and you get all confused because they didn't get caught so you assume the rules have changed and it's okay to do it?


I had this problem a lot when I was a kid. I was a rule follower but I also broke them too because I thought it was okay to do it because I saw other kids doing it. I didn't even know right from wrong because kids didn't follow the rules so I was always thinking it's okay to do them. But when a kid broke a rule and I see them get in trouble for it or hear they got in trouble, I knew it's wrong to do it. But if another kid didn't get in trouble, I got confused.


Took me till I was 17 to finally figure out just because people break them doesn't mean the rules have changed and it is okay to do it. There will always be rules and not everyone is going to follow them. Like people shop lift and get away with it, does it mean it's okay to steal from that store? No. A car runs through a stop sign, does that mean I don't have to stop at that stop sign or at any stop signs? No. A car runs through a red light, does it mean it's okay to run through that red light or any red lights? No. The goes on.
I can picture myself explaining all this to my future child because my child is having the same problems too I had when I was a kid.

Now I don't really have this problem anymore but sometimes I will slip back to my old self and get confused again about a rule because it got broken and nothing was done about it.


Is this aspie related?
I did read that aspies do have troubles following rules and understanding them and that fit me well. Then I am reading about on here how follow the rules freak we are and I'm like huh? Do you guys not have that problem I had when I was a kid?



886
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18 Feb 2008, 5:05 pm

I have this problem at work, it's nearly cost me my job..

Some people do it, I think it's okay, turns out it isn't. Or i just do it at the wrong times.


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18 Feb 2008, 5:07 pm

Yeah. I have always had trouble with this. I have trouble sometimes with freaking out over rules that are getting broken, and being the only one to be worried about it..I have also been caught standing at the red light on my bike even when there are no cars coming.
I had alot of rule confusions especially when I was younger...not because I am some sort of goody-good blind rule follower but because I never could tell when I could or couldn't.



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18 Feb 2008, 6:14 pm

rules are complex ..at last time i acsually got meltdown coz i didint undrestand workers in here group home...taked computer away and said that im going to get it on thursday..taked away by tuesday ...so 3 days i really got pisset off when they said it was 4 :(


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18 Feb 2008, 8:00 pm

Yes. I tend to take rules quite seriously (well, sometimes!), then there's exceptions and the kind of rules that "it's ok to not folow," really confusing! I guess I need this made clear since I do not operate by assumption.

I also hate when, compared to some NTs, I do things differently. Not wrong, just differently. For ex: I use both hands whilst I prep in the lab; I'm not really right or left handed so I switch back and forth, which is very rythmic to me. I am very proficient and have smooth technique. Most are fine with this! Then, I've met one, at least, who somehow find this 'weird' or 'wrong' because this is not how they do it, or not what they're taught. So what? If I prep well, with quality and consistency, this trait is actually advtangeous. Sigh.

I do know what you mean. Spokane_Girl, I'll bet you get 'caught' by others telling you their rules too. Never give up your unconventionality! This makes you strong and special, not 'wrong.'

Hate having to defend myself just for being....natural, yes?

Au Naturale :: Au Autistic


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18 Feb 2008, 8:10 pm

We are very literal and take social favoritism and slanting very obliviously, whether we are the favored or the despised.

Also, the one with highest responsibility gets the highest blame, which I guess is subjective laziness on bosses or they think that the troublemaker wouldn't do anything because he sucks up to the boss. So yeah it sucks, just keep an eye out for those things.


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18 Feb 2008, 8:21 pm

The only rules I vehemently adhere to our my own. Any others, if I can get away with it, I'll break.


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