Why do people assume you're not over something?

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Joined: 13 Apr 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,349
Location: Queensland

21 Feb 2008, 2:25 am

EvilKimEvil wrote:
Yes, that happens to me too. When I mention something that people consider "negative" or "unpleasant", I get a reaction that seems to rest on the assumption that there was some emotional motivation behind what I said. That I am trying to express that I am not over it and ask for reassurance. I always have to say, "I told that story because I think it's interesting. I don't need reassurance or anything like that."

I guess that NTs usually have emotional motivations for everything they say? Every statement is meant to convey some kind of emotion?

I don't think all NT's are like that. I know my husband isn't and labels himself a simple man.

Even NT's get sick to death of an individual whose every word conveys hidden messages or has emotional overtones. I'm not sure if I am straying off topic here and answering the question.

My own special gift is picking up body language and hidden agendas. I can often spot a racist a mile off; I can pick up on things that are not public knowledge- eg a marriage in trouble.

But it also means that I can be defensive and I can well imagine that I could have reacted like Spokane Girl's mother when I was younger. "Why does she have to bring that up over and over again? Why can't she forgive and forget!"

I have learnt so much since I have been on WP. One thing I have learnt is that we are all hard wired. Another is that we have to listen carefully to one another. I love the aspie way of asking questions to clarify.

As I see it we have to educate the public about aspergers.

There are NT's who are cruel because thay don't understand. Others of course are just ****holes!


I think there must be some chronic learning disability that is so prevalent among NT's that it goes unnoticed by the "experts". Krex

21 Feb 2008, 3:35 am

Thanks everyone who has replied so far. I didn't know this was an aspie problem, I thought NTs got this too?
I have gotten this from a few aspies too so I wouldn't say it's an NT thing.

I have informed my mother about some stuff like I am not mad at her for hiring a nanny who turned out to be not so good of a person. She abused my brother and I and the only thing I remember from her is hitting me and locking us in the bathroom by holding the door shut. She also yanked me hard off my mother's bed and my mother didn't like the way she grabbed me. It was a fortunite she was home with a bad back because she had hurt it at work so she was able to hear the nanny doing her job downstairs and she heard how she was treating us and plus me always running upstairs to her room and hiding in the closet, my little brother did the same. My mother fired her after two months of hiring her. I don't think she was over it because I can remember her telling me when I was 19 and 20 it makes her sick to even remember it because what kind of mother would hire some mean and allow her to come into her house and hurt her kids and I told her, she found out who she really was and fixed it by firing her. I'm not mad about it because it's in the past and she got rid of her like a good parent.
s**t, I don't even remember what brought us to that topic lol. I think we were just talking and then we ended up on that topic somehow.