pity...

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Do people tend to feel a lot of pity for Aspies? I don't know.. The closest I've ever been to females comes whenever they feel pity for me in some way or another. the problem is that it's so hard for me to attract attention without attracting attention of the pity-type. "if you ever want to commit suicide, talk to me." It's pathetic, since there are people deserving of far more pity than I am. But I'm prolifically socially awkward and I don't like most things most other people like.

But pity is just a type of compassion. I think it's true that many people may pity us, but that's because they don't understand us. They see us living a type of life that they would never want for themselves, and thus consider us unfortuate. So I wouldn't take it personally. It's just misplaced feeling resulting from erronous projection on their behalf.

I've often felt this way after my family knew what I had. Hated it. I don't think pitying someone is always mean depending on the situation. I have a cousin who has autism, yes I pity him sometimes. I'll usually help him out or play a board game with him because he has no friends. But I pity him because I know he's having a hard time reaching out. With aspies, it's a little different. I'm still learning to reach out to people NT or not. Funny thing is, most NTs don't pity me until they get to know me better. That's when I have to explain to them that I'm alright. One friend I have has become very understanding about it. Don't let it get you down. Just try and be yourself. I think us aspies analyze a lot about ourselves or at least has been in my case. I assume people are thinking bad stuff about me before I get to know them a little better.

I find people pity me at the beginning, and try to "fix" me. It's irritating, especially when no one else, not even my own family, will recognize what's going on.

The most sickening part about it is that the people who want to fix me, or be my "friend" are always screwed up, and like a bully, looking for someone they can consider lower than they are to raise their self esteem.

I don't consider myself suffering or having any problems. If anything, I see Asperger's as a significant advantage. Granted, social and emotional aspects had to be sacrificed, but I love having the clarity of thought that comes without having certain emotions interfere.

As for feeling pity for others, I do not, unless there is genuine proof the person's situation is not of their own doing. Physical and mental handicaps just make dealing with said person more irritating than normal. I mean, the people I deal with every day at work use their handicaps just as one of many tools in their trade to scam us out of money.

Pretty much, my opinion can be summed up like this: too many idiots, not enough ammo.

What does pity feel like?

Pity hasn't really happened much for me because I don't used AS a reason to get pity. I sometime have pity for others but not a lot for me.

I don't rely like pity so much. It implies the person in beneath you. Compassion and pity are separate entities not mutually inclusive.

I preferred compassion over pity any day of the week.

Definitely not a fan - on the flipside of it, its society or various people making it clear to you that your not ok by a long shot in general terms or aren't strong enough or adult enough to really be an equal (which is a hell of a nasty feeling to get from other people).

I don't have pity for people with AS at all. One of the people I think the most of in the world has it and it works two ways. If I know his talent lies in something I am having to deal with his advice is priceless and if he has to do something he is not fond of doing I always try to find a way for him to do it without to much discomfort. It's just a matter of working together. I'll use these things as examples: His main interest is history and I am in a college history class right now. He has been great about filling in blanks about people that I'm having to do essays over. I always look things up for myself and when I can't draw a clear picture about someone in history I ask his opinion. The other example is we have been planning a trip for sometime and he wanted to go on a certain date (which was not possible.) He agreed to a new date, but was not happy about it. He made his discomfort quite plain on the phone (I suggested that he could sleep on the way there and on the way back. This is going to be an all night trip.) When I got home he had already sent an email telling me he was sorry about the way he sounded on the phone, but he was having an asperger's moment. I told him if he could accept me quirks and all I would never have a problem with any asperger's moments he might have.